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Heart broken

I was 16 years old at the time and the boyfriend that I was with for a year had just told me he lost feelings. My best friend, her boyfriend and his friends always had “bros nights”. I was invited by my best friends boyfriend so he picked me up at my house around 2 am. I had to sneak out my parents would never let me go out that late. So I got in his car and was wondering where everyone else is. He told me he wanted to talk to me about something. He drove out to the beach and we walked on the dock. When we got to the end he dared me to go skinny dipping and that’s when I knew something was wrong. So I started walking back to the car my excuse was that I was cold. So I got in the car and he started touching me inappropriately…. Continue reading »

I said no

I was 16 and “in love”. I thought I knew the “love of my life”. He was so sweet to me how could someone like that hurt me? I was over his house and we were watching tv and cuddling. Then he started touching me and trying to take off my clothes. I told him no and that I didn’t want to, But he insisted. He didn’t listen I kept telling him no & he just kept on going like he didn’t even hear anything. I lost my virginity to him previously so I guess it didn’t matter to him cause he thought I’d always stay. After he finished I dressed myself and just ran for the door. I refused to let myself think of it as rape. We’ve done it before & we love each other right? That can’t count as rape. But after reading some of these strong woman’s posts I realized I… Continue reading »

4 Years Ago

4 years ago when I was 19, during my first year at University I met a guy through my friend. He seemed nice enough, he was a bartender at one of the local bars that we frequented because my friends liked it. We went out to go dance/drink at the bar one night. He kept buying me drinks, I figured was just as friends. He bought me about 7-8 mixed drinks, all drinks with both alcohol and energy drink (that he was making), I figured it was fine. After all he was a friend, and a bartender. Him and I danced a few times. Then my friends and I left to go home. When we got home he started texting me, he asked if I wanted to watch a movie, I said yes. When he got back to the dorms I was still really drunk. We started watching watching Euro trip and just a few… Continue reading »

Raped After School

Hi, My name is Vanessa i am 17 years old. I am going to talk about my story and what had happened to me while i was in school. One day my Boyfriend but now ex and i got into an argument over something stupid. We kept fighting that day so we didn’t talk that day but then the next day came along and he was like hey since you are walking home today from school i want to go with you to make sure that you are safe. of course i replied ” sure” so he came along. He told me to go down a street because it would be a lot faster to get to my house than the way that i was taking So i agreed well he took me behind this house and started to kiss me and i was like i want to go home. He was like your not… Continue reading »

Date rape

To the one that destroyed me, I think about you a lot. Maybe because we actually had a solid relationship in the beginning. You caught my eye, you pulled me in, I wanted you. You seemed so perfect to me and I was finally happy with you in my life. My eyes were always bright, my smile was real, my happiness stayed. I thanked God everyday for you. You told me you were going away for training for the army at your school. I was sad, because I had just met you and you were up and leaving. We weren’t dating, but everyday I checked the mailbox excitedly awaiting a letter from you. I told my mom, I think you’re the one. She told me you might not be. I didn’t believe her. You came home in November and I surprised you at the airport with a big ole welcome home sign. I ran into… Continue reading »

Was It My Fault?

Seven months ago, I was raped. I had just gone through a breakup of a 1 year relationship; I was having a hard time getting back out with my friends and returning to any normal things I did before my boyfriend and I broke up. My best friend and her boyfriend asked me to come over after work one night so I decided it couldn’t hurt and I had nothing better to do so I decided to make my way over there. When I got to the house, I could already tell it was a party because of the noise and the multitude of cars up and down the street. I walked in and saw a lot of my friends and a lot of people I hadn’t had the chance to meet yet. Most people were older or already graduated. The night was actually really fun, I got to meet new people and laugh and… Continue reading »

Rape Under Intoxication

Last summer, I went on a date with my male friend. He openly liked me but, few days earlier, I had told him that being alone with him in a private room made me uncomfortable, and that I did not want a sexual relationship with him. At dinner, we drank seven or eight glasses of wine. I’ve done that before but that involved throwing up three times along the way. This time, when I stood up from my seat, I felt extremely dizzy. But I managed to walk out of the restaurant. As soon as we exited the restaurant, I lost my balance and leaned onto him. I could not stand with my own legs so he was hugging – carrying me. He seemed to have liked that because he started kissing me. I said: stop. The only time he can make an action is when I’m drunk. Pathetic. But I couldn’t lift myself apart… Continue reading »

Naive

I was a freshman in high school so it was the world to be dating a senior. Until you get passed the fact that he’s just 4 years older and that he is mentally and verbally abusive. Not to mention the boy cheated on me. But he had me so convinced that no one would ever love me that I still talked to him. I left him many times but that didn’t keep him from banging on my window several nights out of the week. I would let him in because I didn’t want my mom to hear and talk him into going home. One night though, he came plastered and again banging on my window. I let him in to try to talk to him and convince him to leave but he hit me so hard and pinned me down. I tried screaming and then he choked me. I kicked and squirmed but I… Continue reading »

It’s still happening

This past December I was raped by a guy from my school. I went to his place and he raped me on his couch 4 separate times. I didn’t know where I was and neither was I able to use my phone because it had died. 2 months later, my dad made me think about him less, because he started doing it. My dad makes an effort to touch my body and force himself on me, since Feb 12. I got really drunk last week and my dad started feeling on my body and he would take off my clothes. All I wanted to do was sleep, but my dad wanted sex, and I told him I didn’t want him to do it and he stopped and started doing it again. He won’t stop at all, and he would talk to me like it was mutual.

Silence

This is my story. I wrote it about a year ago in hopes that putting it to words and sharing it might help to shed the last bit of shame, after finally having shared the story with the few people closest to me in my life. I wrote it in 3rd person as a means to tell the story, via my blog, in a way that might also be helfpful to others in the healing process, and to lend insight to those who wish to gain such. SILENCE “No.” She knew he’d heard her, his face was so close to hers, she could feel his whiskers on her cheek as he moved, like the stab of needles tattooing her skin with unwanted ink. “No,” she said, again, a little more forcefully this time, the word scraping the inside of her throat, which was beginning to feel constricted, pure panic coiling itself around and around, from… Continue reading »