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Raped by my boyfriend

I was 15 when it happened and my boyfriend was 18. I’d met him as he and his mum worked with my mum. we started dating and were told not to do any funny business, then we went out to watch the Christmas Light switch on and as it finished late he stayed over. when we got back t my house we were laying in bed chatting and it started to get intimate at first I was fine with it but once he started having sex with me I didn’t want to anymore it didn’t feel right I told him no and to get off, I tried to push him off but nothing worked. After a few more thrusts he stopped and got off me and said that id better sort him out later. I was so mortified and embarrassed I didnt report this until a year or so later.

Need help

I had just turned 17. November 1986. My brother had come home from college for Thanksgiving. My parents left us alone. We had a party. After everyone left, my bother’s childhood friend stayed. I was asleep in my parents room. Don crept down the hall. My brother called out to him..he said that he was “using the bathroom.” he went back to whatever room he was asleep in. I got up and locked my parents bedroom door. Sometime later, he picked the lock. I woke up to him using my hand to stroke his penis. He put his hand over my mouth and raped me repeatedly. I would have never have told a soul but I came up pregnant and my mother knew that I was. I told her I was a victim and she never said, “I don’t believe you.” but her actions proved just that. She told me not to tell anyone and… Continue reading »

No one owns your story but you

Two years ago, I was sexually assaulted and raped by a man I barely knew. I met him on a dating app. I invited him into my home. We chatted, had a couple drinks, and I offered to him that he stay the night. Not once did we ever kiss, and the topic of sex never came up. In the middle of the night, I woke up to find he had his finger inside me. I was shocked. I felt like I was paralyzed. That moment felt like it went on for an eternity. He took his finger out of me and tried to get on top of me. I was able to turn away from him, but lay awake in the dark trying to figure out if what just happened actually did happen. I’m not sure how I fell back asleep that night. In the early morning, we woke up and he started to… Continue reading »

My so called “best friend”

I had just moved into a new school. 7th grade. I met a guy Named Eric. I was absolutely obsessed with him. We dated for a while, nothing serious though. I moved schools, then came back in the 8th grade. That’s when it all started. In class, he would send notes to me asking me to perform sexual favors. When I declined, he’d always go to his signature move. “We’re best friends, and best friends do anything for each other”. I declined each time. He would rub my boobs every time he walked by me in the hallway. I never told my family because I wanted to handle it by myself. It got worse. One day in art class, he grabbed my hand and pulled me to his face and said “we’re gonna go to the bathroom, and you’re going to give me a blowjob. No excuses”. I pulled away and ran across the room… Continue reading »

Victim Shaming

SVU’s Detective Benson & Tutuola vs. Real NYPD Detectives By: Tiffany V. Stiles 10/19/2018 Along with millions of avid viewers, I’ve been a fan of Law & Order: Special Victims Unit for almost 20 years. The compassion these characters have for victims of sexual assault is unparalleled to the strong burden of shame and fear felt. You’re offered a comforting blanket and a cup of warm cocoa; another way to let you know you’re safe now. One in four women will be sexually assaulted in their lifetime and one in six women will experience attempted or completed rape in their lifetime (site this). Of those women, there’s been dialogue of why they don’t come forward after being attacked…but what about us women who do & are then dismissed? This is my story: After over three hours of waiting, two detectives from NYPD’s Special Victims Division walked into my hospital room. A male and a female… Continue reading »

I Didn’t Know I Was Raped

Upon the eve of my 21st birthday my boyfriend of the time (who was everything to not date in a man) raped me. We went to a bar and were drinking. I am not even a fan of bars. I wanted to go camping, but he insisted. (Side Note: After we broke up I went on dates with four different guys to see what was out there. Every single one of them treated me better than he treated me our entire relationship. Like, the little things they did in comparison, blew my mind. How they thought of me, how kind they were, and how much they payed attention to detail, BLEW MY MIND. It was stuff that shouldn’t have even blew my mind, but did. It did because I was treated like shit emotionally for so long that I didn’t even know anything else. If a man (or my bad, boy) ever makes you question… Continue reading »

My message to all

As I heard the news that Kavanaugh made it into the supreme court, my heart sank. My husband, who follows politics relentlessly, was furious but I was silent and went on with my day. Getting angry would mean that I would have to really think about what this event means to me… and of course I eventually became angry. The anger is partially about Kavanaugh but mostly about the reaction that men have a scary road ahead. If this is you, please read with an open and heart and mind as this idea may affect those you love much more than you know. I do not know that Kavanaugh is guilty of sexual assault, but if he is I really hope he reads this too. If you believe that all of this sexual assault talk is unfair to men then my counter argument is that it is not fair that I have to push out… Continue reading »

Attempted rape

I am 67 years old now. When I was in college I went on a date in my sophomore year of college with a graduate student. He invited me to his off campus apartment for dinner. When I got there, he offered me a drink of wine, when I accepted. He said he was going to get comfortable and make dinner. He went into the bathroom and came out only with a towel and a towel, an erection, and a condom on. He sat next to me and started rubbing my shoulders which made me uncomfortable. He then started kissing me and pushed me back on the sofa. I asked him to stop and he reached for my underwear. I started to fight and he held me down and called me a “cockteaser”. I kneed him and he ripped my shirt. I managed to get to the door and run out. What saved me was… Continue reading »

I was too young to know what sexual abuse was

Aug 20th I was going into freshman year of high school and they had an orientation at the high school to tour around and see where our classes were at. I met a guy named blake ….we clicked right away and we started hanging out more and more i met his parents and his sister. He had the kitchen upstairs and two living rooms one downstairs and one upstairs at first i thought he was an amazing person a person i wanted to have kids with because i saw what i wanted to see i didn’t leave the first time he sexually assaulted me i was 14 i didn’t know what sex even was let alone sexual abuse and assault. I told myself he wouldn’t do it again or oh this is normal as the months passed and he was getting eager and was always leaning towards sex or sexual acts there were times where… Continue reading »

Feelings After I was Raped 20 plus years

I am always screaming inside. What is Normal. I forgot who I was before I was raped. What is it like to be Happy. I never really sleep. I am always mad. Not a day goes by that I don’t think about my Rapist(s). Why I never told anyone. I am Embarressed. I am Ashamed. I am so stupid. I let it happen. Believe me. Don’t believe me. I never really Smile. I don’t know what love really is. I am numb. Trust. Sitting in the Shower. Crying with No Sound. Who am I really. I Never want to Leave my house. Nobody knows. Everybody knows. Worse. Hurt. Pain. Sorrow. I want to die everyday. I want to live. Don’t touch me. Touch me. Where is my Laugh. I am weak. Bury my head im my pillow every night. I want to be left alone. Don’t leave me alone. Breathe. I want to forget. I… Continue reading »