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Drugged

Before reading: English is not my first language. Be aware before you Judge me. Thank you. I can’t explain how it felt. The hardest part of my story is, that not only did he take away my trust, he took away a part of my memory, a crucial part, that I will never have back. The fact that I know what happened, but will never know, how, when exactly, and why, frustrates me still. And will Always hurt me so much. I trusted you. This one’s for you. I met you in 2015. I had just turned 15 and went on my first holiday with my best friend. Her parents took me with them, and treated me very great, they looked out for me. My mom Always told me that she trusted me, that she knew I would look out for myself. So why are you worried about me? My 15-year old self wondered. ‘I… Continue reading »

Manhandling to Rape

I am 21. I have grown up believing that love anywhere anytime and driven by this feeling. I met a guy few months back. It was an instantaneous liking, from chats to coffee if only I knew then his intentions. One day he invited me for a drink and after 2 drinks I felt dizzy. I could feel him fondling over me. .Kissing me against my wishes but it didn’t go any further that day. I later thought that it was probably a sway away of emotions and to meet him once more. This time it didn’t take much as soon as I entered his home he locked the room and forced himself on me. He stripped me brutally, twisted my arm and finally took my virginity. I was scared to share this with anyone as I am scared of social stigma but still I get flashbacks of what happend with me. He treated me… Continue reading »

Ignoring only gets so far

I had thought that if I ignored it, it would go away. Here and there throughout the past eight years, this proved true. Like all things, some days were betters than others. Like all things, this would have to come to an end. This past week, that end was now. I had been having an internal struggle for those past eight years. I had let it periodically effect relationships, my physical being, but most of all, my mental struggles. Enough was enough, it is time to take control of something I had no control of and move past it towards a better, happier me. I had been a senior in college, one of the best years in my life. I had great friends, an apartment, a job and a family that was so tight that the week this happened, my mom was giving her kidney to her brother. I began “dating” (I say this loosely… Continue reading »

Confused

I was debating for a long time whether or not to share this story, whether or not I have the right to do it. But I feel like I need to tell someone, anyone because it’s tearing me up. That’s the only thing I’ve had in my mind for the last few days and I can’t figure this out on my own. Last year I met a guy, through the dating site. We hang out a couple times, nothing serious or official. We were going out on and off for about two months or so. One night he asked me to go for a party with him, he said that I could take some friends with me if I felt like it, unfortunately none of my friends had time that night, so I figured since I knew this guy it would be fine if I came alone. We were drinking with his friends, went to… Continue reading »

Heart broken

I was 16 years old at the time and the boyfriend that I was with for a year had just told me he lost feelings. My best friend, her boyfriend and his friends always had “bros nights”. I was invited by my best friends boyfriend so he picked me up at my house around 2 am. I had to sneak out my parents would never let me go out that late. So I got in his car and was wondering where everyone else is. He told me he wanted to talk to me about something. He drove out to the beach and we walked on the dock. When we got to the end he dared me to go skinny dipping and that’s when I knew something was wrong. So I started walking back to the car my excuse was that I was cold. So I got in the car and he started touching me inappropriately…. Continue reading »

I said no

I was 16 and “in love”. I thought I knew the “love of my life”. He was so sweet to me how could someone like that hurt me? I was over his house and we were watching tv and cuddling. Then he started touching me and trying to take off my clothes. I told him no and that I didn’t want to, But he insisted. He didn’t listen I kept telling him no & he just kept on going like he didn’t even hear anything. I lost my virginity to him previously so I guess it didn’t matter to him cause he thought I’d always stay. After he finished I dressed myself and just ran for the door. I refused to let myself think of it as rape. We’ve done it before & we love each other right? That can’t count as rape. But after reading some of these strong woman’s posts I realized I… Continue reading »

4 Years Ago

4 years ago when I was 19, during my first year at University I met a guy through my friend. He seemed nice enough, he was a bartender at one of the local bars that we frequented because my friends liked it. We went out to go dance/drink at the bar one night. He kept buying me drinks, I figured was just as friends. He bought me about 7-8 mixed drinks, all drinks with both alcohol and energy drink (that he was making), I figured it was fine. After all he was a friend, and a bartender. Him and I danced a few times. Then my friends and I left to go home. When we got home he started texting me, he asked if I wanted to watch a movie, I said yes. When he got back to the dorms I was still really drunk. We started watching watching Euro trip and just a few… Continue reading »

Raped After School

Hi, My name is Vanessa i am 17 years old. I am going to talk about my story and what had happened to me while i was in school. One day my Boyfriend but now ex and i got into an argument over something stupid. We kept fighting that day so we didn’t talk that day but then the next day came along and he was like hey since you are walking home today from school i want to go with you to make sure that you are safe. of course i replied ” sure” so he came along. He told me to go down a street because it would be a lot faster to get to my house than the way that i was taking So i agreed well he took me behind this house and started to kiss me and i was like i want to go home. He was like your not… Continue reading »

Date rape

To the one that destroyed me, I think about you a lot. Maybe because we actually had a solid relationship in the beginning. You caught my eye, you pulled me in, I wanted you. You seemed so perfect to me and I was finally happy with you in my life. My eyes were always bright, my smile was real, my happiness stayed. I thanked God everyday for you. You told me you were going away for training for the army at your school. I was sad, because I had just met you and you were up and leaving. We weren’t dating, but everyday I checked the mailbox excitedly awaiting a letter from you. I told my mom, I think you’re the one. She told me you might not be. I didn’t believe her. You came home in November and I surprised you at the airport with a big ole welcome home sign. I ran into… Continue reading »

Was It My Fault?

Seven months ago, I was raped. I had just gone through a breakup of a 1 year relationship; I was having a hard time getting back out with my friends and returning to any normal things I did before my boyfriend and I broke up. My best friend and her boyfriend asked me to come over after work one night so I decided it couldn’t hurt and I had nothing better to do so I decided to make my way over there. When I got to the house, I could already tell it was a party because of the noise and the multitude of cars up and down the street. I walked in and saw a lot of my friends and a lot of people I hadn’t had the chance to meet yet. Most people were older or already graduated. The night was actually really fun, I got to meet new people and laugh and… Continue reading »