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Rape Under Intoxication

Last summer, I went on a date with my male friend. He openly liked me but, few days earlier, I had told him that being alone with him in a private room made me uncomfortable, and that I did not want a sexual relationship with him. At dinner, we drank seven or eight glasses of wine. I’ve done that before but that involved throwing up three times along the way. This time, when I stood up from my seat, I felt extremely dizzy. But I managed to walk out of the restaurant. As soon as we exited the restaurant, I lost my balance and leaned onto him. I could not stand with my own legs so he was hugging – carrying me. He seemed to have liked that because he started kissing me. I said: stop. The only time he can make an action is when I’m drunk. Pathetic. But I couldn’t lift myself apart… Continue reading »

Naive

I was a freshman in high school so it was the world to be dating a senior. Until you get passed the fact that he’s just 4 years older and that he is mentally and verbally abusive. Not to mention the boy cheated on me. But he had me so convinced that no one would ever love me that I still talked to him. I left him many times but that didn’t keep him from banging on my window several nights out of the week. I would let him in because I didn’t want my mom to hear and talk him into going home. One night though, he came plastered and again banging on my window. I let him in to try to talk to him and convince him to leave but he hit me so hard and pinned me down. I tried screaming and then he choked me. I kicked and squirmed but I… Continue reading »

It’s still happening

This past December I was raped by a guy from my school. I went to his place and he raped me on his couch 4 separate times. I didn’t know where I was and neither was I able to use my phone because it had died. 2 months later, my dad made me think about him less, because he started doing it. My dad makes an effort to touch my body and force himself on me, since Feb 12. I got really drunk last week and my dad started feeling on my body and he would take off my clothes. All I wanted to do was sleep, but my dad wanted sex, and I told him I didn’t want him to do it and he stopped and started doing it again. He won’t stop at all, and he would talk to me like it was mutual.

Silence

This is my story. I wrote it about a year ago in hopes that putting it to words and sharing it might help to shed the last bit of shame, after finally having shared the story with the few people closest to me in my life. I wrote it in 3rd person as a means to tell the story, via my blog, in a way that might also be helfpful to others in the healing process, and to lend insight to those who wish to gain such. SILENCE “No.” She knew he’d heard her, his face was so close to hers, she could feel his whiskers on her cheek as he moved, like the stab of needles tattooing her skin with unwanted ink. “No,” she said, again, a little more forcefully this time, the word scraping the inside of her throat, which was beginning to feel constricted, pure panic coiling itself around and around, from… Continue reading »

Was It Rape

A couple of months ago I went to London. I was there for two weeks staying in halls and knew no one. I was lonely. Having met him once before at a uni party, we’d liked each other and texted every so often. I knew he lived nearby and desperate for company we decided to go on a date, which we’d agreed on months before but lived too far apart. When he first rocked up he was his lovely, funny self. I enjoyed his company and everything seemed fine but ignored my gut the entire night, which was a mistake. When he first arrived I got the vibe he wanted to sleep with me, even before the date, which I thought was a bit odd and quite frankly inappropriate. I ignored his advances however and we set off into town. We had a wonderful time, he made me feel special, loved, wanted. We had dinner… Continue reading »

Forgiving The Rapist

My wife was date raped 10 years ago. We have been together for 7 years, so it was 3 years before I met her. She was at a bar with some friends, she met a guy. She had just gone through a bad breakup and was in a bad spot. She said he was cute and nice and she liked him. She was drunk but not wasted, she invited him back to her apartment and he drugged her and raped her. She told me about it before we got married, she has always blamed herself for it. She said it was her fault for inviting him back to her apartment. She believes it was her fault for even putting herself on that position in the first place. When she originally told me about it, it hurt me to hear it. Just recently she made reference to her past again and the date rape topic came… Continue reading »

Infatuation

I was raped at 18 by an ex boyfriend. I was a virgin. I had always thought that I would be physically strong enough to fight anything if I was in a position where I was in danger. I wasn’t. He was so strong and so determined, I couldn’t move. Once you know that you are never the same, that fear is always with you. I never told anyone. I knew if my dad found out it would become all about him and his anger and not about me. My virginity was something I could never get back, would never ever be mine to give freely, he robbed me off that. I went to work away, my reaction to the rape was {where I had fiercly guarded my virginity} was to become promiscuous, got pregnant, became a single parent. I found a few years later someone else prosecuted him, he served time. I’m sorry it… Continue reading »

I think my “boyfriend” raped me

I’m 16. I’ve been basically dating this guy for a few months.. we just haven’t made things official. Almost every time were alone we end up having sex. On Valentine’s Day he invited me to go out to east with him so after school he picked me up and we left. He said he had to get something from his brothers house so I just said okay. When we got there he invited me inside and asked please so I went with him. We went in and he pushed me against the wall, kisses me and eventually we make our way to the bedroom. He began trying to take my pants off and I said no, then he repeatedly did it again and I continued to say no. Eventually I gave up and he gets them off. I tried pushing his hand away and saying no but he continued. Eventually I gave up and just… Continue reading »

Being Raped

With the help of God, I can finally write this down. I watched Brave Miss World the same year I confronted on of the men who raped me. This site has allowed me to find strength and solidarity among the words, the deeply respected and haunting stories of others who have experienced being violated, having their identities stolen or put through crisis; those who wake up with PTSD, anxiety, suffer from panic attacks, substance misuse, depression and social isolation. Some of those, who like me, blamed themselves for something you ask.. couldn’t I have prevented? This is for every girl, who didn’t get to choose, and for every person who loves her and also, didn’t get to prevent what happened to her. It’s also for anyone who has ever raped, violated or participated in anything that led to someone being violated. I hope that you become better than you were, and seek forgiveness. I am… Continue reading »

Holding My Feelings In

I’m not really sure how this website works with helping people out but here it goes, I had my very first boyfriend, my first “true” “love” we were dating for almost 2 years. We did have sex but this night was completely different, we were at a concert and everything was great just like any other time after the concert I was exhausted an just wanted some sleep I called my mom begging her to let me stay at his house for the first time after I convinced her we wasn’t going to be sleeping in the same bed, we got in the bed and went to “sleep” I woke up to him doing things to me that I didn’t want him doing I didn’t fight back, yell or push him off only because I was in shock and lost for words. after it was over I asked him what he was doing an he… Continue reading »