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Finally facing it

I’m 32 years old and married now. When I was 15 years old I was dating a 16 year old. I was a virgin with no intentions of having sex anytime soon. I was very naive about sex and also insecure about my body. I went to the homecoming dance with my boyfriend. Before the dance, we went to a neighbor’s house who provided alcohol to minors. I had never drank before. They made screw drivers and I drank for the first time. I’m not sure if I was given date rape drugs or just got drunk enough to black out, but I still remember feeling extremely out of it and I only remember tiny bits from the night. I remember going to a bedroom at this person’s house and passing out. The next day I had no idea I had had sex. All I remember is feeling sore when I went to the bathroom… Continue reading »

Was it rape?

I used to never understand the word rape. I used to never think it could happen to me. Too be honest, I still don’t understand it all I know is what happened was wrong. It was six years ago. It was a warm night in may I was at my best friends house in the hot tub. We had a few drinks and then our “friends” came over.. fast forward to five am in the morning this “friend” started to feel me up… He then began getting more and more intimate and persuaded me to come out to his jeep. I get in scared out of my mind, and he climbs in on top of me. He begins to kiss me all over saying how it was time for me to stop being a good girl and how I wanted “daddy” to eff me. He had his way and then finished. There was blood all… Continue reading »

I felt like it didn’t count because I made him cry

I was lucky. I went on a date with a man I met, and I wanted to play around and make out. I was not shy, or coy, or unclear. I straight up told him that we would not be having intercourse – but if he was okay with that, we could touch each other and have some fun. He agreed, and we went back to his place. He enjoyed himself, and so did I. He even came twice without intercourse, and I’m thinking to myself – cool, this was fun. Then he starts complaining – he wants more, and he wants real sex. I tell him no, that’s not what we agreed upon, and he starts trying to force the issue by grabbing me roughly. I got very mad – and I flipped him. I was taller and stronger than him, with a background in martial arts, and he was young, stupid and unarmed…. Continue reading »

I said YES

Daniel and I were dating for a couple of months, and there was some good chemistry. On that night, I was interested, no basically decided, what I wanted for the end, or overnight. We had a nice dinner, and a really adrenaline packed movie, and I was worked up. When we got back to my place, I was most afraid he would want to kiss me and call it a night. When he said he wanted to come in, my heart was going, and my palms sweaty, like it was my first. I hung my jacket on the hooks, as he closed the door behind us. I turned smiling coyly. He grabbed my legs around the knees and knocked me to the floor, landing on top on me, between my legs! I went to talk, and he wheeled a fist back to punch! He ripped my dress, my bra, and matching panties, enough for access…. Continue reading »

I got away

Recently I went on a date with someone I met online. He was charming, cute, funny and I thought he was kind. He invited me over for some drinks and dinner. We were having a good time and he decided to kiss me. I was excited and enjoyed our kiss until he tried touching my boobs. I immediately told him to stop and I didn’t want to do anything more. He kept telling me I wouldn’t have come over if I didn’t want it. I remember telling him I was sorry if I gave the wrong impression but I wasn’t comfortable and wanted to leave. When I kept trying to get up he kept pulling my arm to make me sit back on the couch and trying to pin me down. I immediately became fearful of the situation. I’ve told men no before but no one has ever ignored my discomfort. After trying to leave… Continue reading »

My Story

There’s something I need to say, but I can’t. I can’t say it out loud. Because if I did then it’d be true. It’d be real. I don’t want it to be real. I just want it to go away. But it’s not going to go away, it’ll never go away. It will continue to weigh on my heart, my conscious mind, my sub conscious, my every being. I need to let it go. I need to talk about it to finally be free of this and move on. It’s time to let this go. A while back I was seeing this guy. Someone I had met a few years prior to this event. He seemed like a nice guy, a good guy, and as we started to hang out more, I felt myself being comfortable with the idea of him possibly being my boyfriend. Something I never thought to consider before, I’ve been very… Continue reading »

Date gone wrong

I met this guy on tinder. we texted back and forth and flirted for a few days. After two weeks of doing that, we finally made plans to meet up and watch a movie. I felt comfortable inviting him over because I knew my roommates would be home and i live in a gated community with really strict security. We agreed we would watch a movie but i was open to the idea of doing more. I had 2 beers while we hung out and watched Netflix. We talked, laughed and got to know each other, it was all going very well. We started making out and i noticed things might be going further. I was ok with having sex, and i told him where to get the condom. When we started having sex, he was wearing a condom but by the time it was over he wasn’t. I looked at him horrified, and he… Continue reading »

Scar

I trusted a lot of people, never in my mind, I thought they will harm me, but I was wrong. I was hurt in a lot of ways. My boyfriend at that moment, he was sweet at first but everything changes the longer we were together. He never likes it when I was with my friend, he was always jealous. We argue so much, once I told him that if he doesn’t change I will leave. That got him more, He was heated. I just remember feeling my face burning. He burns me and kisses me and I push him. I didn’t know what to do but walk away. The next couple of days I wasn’t texting him as much. He asks me if I can go to his house so we can talk and hang out. I said it was fine, I will after school. So, I went, it was just us, we always… Continue reading »

Date rape

The beginning of my last relationship was amazing… It all started when we first meet my freshman year… I really liked him and we have known each other our whole lives. One day, we were hanging out and he’s like, “Would you like to go on a date with me?” I looked at him all confused because I thought he didn’t like me like that… I said sure, thinking that our relationship would work. The first day we were dating, he bought me flowers, chocolate, whipped cream, and he bought me a new phone because mine was broken. We set it up and then I downloaded Snapchat, Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter… That night i met his parents and I didn’t realize that he lived down the street from me… I liked him so much, but it hurt a lot to know what he did to me… He cheated on me so many times… I kept… Continue reading »

I’m Not Easy

It happened on April 10, 2017. I hadn’t been with anybody since a hard breakup a year before. I was finally moving on and I started talking to this boy. We flirted often and texted constantly. Finally, we were hanging out. He even introduced himself to my mom and I thought he seemed like a gentleman. I met his parents then we were off to his bedroom to play xbox and watch movies. That’s where I was stupid and should’ve left. Within 5 minutes of me meeting this boy in person, he said he wanted to change into something more comfortable. Without a breath, he pulled his pants off and I noticed he had no underwear on and he was hard. He planned for this to happen. He put on shorts and got comfortable on the bed. I chose to ignore it and I laid by him. Next thing I knew, he was forcing his… Continue reading »