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My Ex-husband

I was married once before to a bartender with a drug problem. Many nights he would encourage me to come down to the bar and drink with him and his coworkers after closing up. Many nights I would stumble my way out of the bar after 2 drinks, make it home, and completely black out. The next morning I would always wake up with no underwear on and confused. This was a regular occurrence until I woke up with my husband inside of me. I told him to stop, and he shoved his hand over my face until he finished. For some reason, I stayed after that for 2 months. I tried to make it seem like it never happened, because I was too embarrassed to have to explain how my husband could rape me. The last straw was when we went out drinking, and he decided that he wanted to go buy some drugs,… Continue reading »

Keep it to myself

One afternoon I walked home from the bus, to find my brother and 2 of his friends watching a porn. They made rude comments about I’d look good like that. I tried to go to my room, but they tackled me. They all raped me, but technically, my own brother was my first! There was no protection, so I got lucky, so to speak. I told my mother, who refused to believe me. As punishment, they did it again, and another time just cause, before I went to hang out instead of coming home.

Nothing for Nothing

My mother remarried. I never liked him. He installed new security systems, smoke alarms, carbon monoxide alarms, clocks, and thermostats, in every room, including the bathrooms and garage. I felt like he was watching 24/7. I started making some money, babysitting and cleaning, and sometimes I needed a ride to where the bus didn’t go. He picked me up, but he wanted a share. I needed all I had made, he had another plan. He parked. I mean found an isolated area, and started kissing me. Then hard kissing with tongues. He felt me up, and had me feel him. I felt like a hooker, except that he would want more from that. Whenever I needed more cash, he would take me out in the car. My mother had to stop my allowance to go to bills, and he was there to drive me once a week, and I would keep my allowance. I needed… Continue reading »

“Me too” On Facebook

Recently, there’s been a lot of people posting “me too” on social media. That statement is supposed to show others they’re not alone and reveal to the word the size of this epidemic. I can’t help but feel more alone each and every time I see a “me too” status. I feel like I already knew how bad this was. I bet there’s not a girl out there who can truthfully say they’ve never experienced some sort of sexual misconduct. I feel like posting a “me too” status is supposed to make you feel better or stronger or more helpful or supportive or… anything other than the nasty feeling it gives me every time I think about it. If I posted me to…. All three of them would see it. My ex boyfriend who started dating me when I was 14 when he was 17, the one who abused me physically and mentally for three… Continue reading »

A Lifetime of #MeToo – How Sexual Abuse Changed Me

I was eleven when I lost my virginity. It happened under an old pine tree in an overgrown backyard of an old lady’s house a block away from my childhood home. The boys were older. They were rough and cruel. They laughed the whole time like it was some hysterical joke I didn’t understand. Perhaps they thought I was the punchline. It killed my innocence and woke a nightmare that has been chasing me ever since. When I was thirteen, it began happening regularly. This time it was my brother’s friends. The first time my brother told me that one of his friends wanted to be with me, I said no. I didn’t want to do it. My brother, almost 5 years older than me and over twice my weight, changed my mind with his fists. It was easier to let it happen whenever they wanted than to get beaten. It was always easier to… Continue reading »

It’s OK

My Rapist: My mother’s boyfriend. My Age: 13 Force Used: Authority We had a close family, my Mom, my bratty Little Sis, Me of course, and the latest of Mom’s Boyfriends. We used to do a lot of things together, especially watch Cable. Once we were all on the couch, and Mom and Sis fell asleep, and I was drifting off, and I rolled over against him, and he put his arm over my shoulder, and his hand rested a bit on my boob by accident. He said he was “sorry”, and I said “It’s OK”, and he didn’t move it, but I didn’t care. The next time I watched a movie with him, it was a bit less “family”, and while I sat up, he reached around me, and under my arm, and his fingers rested under my boob. He asked if I was “bothered”, and I said “It’s OK”. He would flex his… Continue reading »

My Husband Set Me Up!

George set up a night out. We left in the evening for a nice date night out at the movies. On the way there, he picked up Pete, for a ride he needed. While we drove, Pete put a gun to my head, and we pulled over. I had no idea where we were, and Pete told me to get in the back seat with him. George told me to do as he says, even as Pete told me to get undressed. He told me to lie down on the seat as he undid his pants. As he started to have sex with me, George started taking pictures, and cheering on the show. I could not help getting ill and vomiting in the back of the car. George uploaded the pictures online to be used later in a divorce to prove adultery. He had a 16yo girlfriend he wanted. Pete just wanted to have me,… Continue reading »

Spousal Rape

5 years ago, I was married to an extremely emotionally and mentally abusive man. After only a few months of marriage, I decided enough was enough and asked him for a divorce. He refused. I attempted to file the Court documents but he constantly evaded service. Over the course of this time, I could not legally kick him out of my home (where I paid for everything). I had to deal with daily threats – verbally and physical intimidation (he would kick a hole in the wall, knock me over while passing me in the house, etc.) He told me that he was going to do everything he could to destroy my life (he believed that I destroyed his). One night, I came home after drinking/clubbing and he proceeded to rape me, sodomize me and choke me until I lost consciousness. I didn’t know what to do. I was so terrified of ever seeing him… Continue reading »

Family

I used to live in south Korea with my parents and my two brothers (one older and one younger). My older brother died when I was very young and my parents decided to migrate overseas for a fresh new start. When we first came to Australia, we settled in extremely well and I quickly got attached to my new home. However, 2 days before my first day of high school, my mother died. So I was left with my father and younger brother. My father worked very hard to take care of us both and I even began working a part-time job to help out. This was until my younger brother also died, 2 years after my mother’s death. This was a major turning point in my life. I was diagnosed with depression and my father had been broken physically and emotionally. He began to regularly skip work and developed a serious alcohol habit, and… Continue reading »

He ruined my life

My mum and dad separated when I was 12. After that she began to hate me and my sister (who was 7 at the time) because we were her ex-boyfriend’s daughters. A few months later she brought in one of her old school friends to live with us. Although we didn’t like him, he was initially very friendly so we tried our best to get along. However, as time went on, he began to show his true abusive side and would often physically and verbally abuse us. He is a very strong guy and my sister and I are abnormally skinny, so we would always get hurt. Earlier this year on my sister’s 11th birthday, he dragged her into her room and said “I’ll show you something special.” I heard her screaming and crying and after a few minutes, he walked out. My sister was on the bed with blood all over her legs and… Continue reading »