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Young and Unaware

I’m 19 now and it took 4 years for me to process what had happened. I really only became aware of it 1 year ago. But when I was 14, I was dating a boy who was 17. I had lied about my age and he thought I was 15, I guess I thought you seemed cool dating boys who were older than you. One afternoon I told my mum I was going to hang at one of my girlfriends houses so I left and caught a cab to hang with my boyfriend at his friends house. It seemed pretty cool, they were all smoking weed, chatting and laughing. One of the boys had pre-mixed a 1.5L bottle of Solo and vodka and began to egg me into sculling it with the words “we thought you were cool, come on! Oh you wouldn’t be able to do it, would you”. So I got peer pressured… Continue reading »

I Woke Up In The Tub

I woke up in the bathtub. With the shower running. My socks were on. My underwear between my legs. The alarm was going off. Something was wrong. Besides the socks. Besides the underwear. Besides the shower and the tub. Besides the pain. Don’t think about the pain. Something was wrong. I was late for my flight. Get on the plane. Don’t think about the pain, get on the plane. So I did. I don’t remember actually getting out of the shower, turning off the water, drying off or getting dressed – I assume it happened because the next thing I remember is tossing my room keys onto the hotel front desk and checking out. Something’s wrong with my eyes. Why can’t I open my eyes all the way. Why do I hurt. Get on the plane. C calls – her driver’s license is missing; is mine missing? do I have hers accidentally? Do I remember… Continue reading »

I Just Started High School

When I started high school I was very quiet and shy, I went into high school with an on again off again boyfriend from 8th grade but it was never anything serious since we got together at 13 and I never kissed a guy (never kissed him) or even had a boyfriend before him but starting high school I was tired of him breaking up with me for every disagreement so I put my foot down about getting back together. Anyways, I was into heavy metal music, my school had a group of metal heads that hung out together and one guy was interested in me when I passed by them wearing a megadeth shirt and had iron maiden all over my binder. Later after school a couple of his friends came up to me and said their friend thought I was cute, I began to blush cause I was never the girl to have… Continue reading »

Once When I Was 6, Once When I Was 16

I am a 19 year old girl. I am a lot of things. I am kind. I am honest. I am respectful. I am caring. I am loyal. I am smart. I am everybody’s rock to lean on. I am an athlete. I am a scholar. I am a future nurse. I am a family girl. I am a lot of things. I am broken. I am lost. I am sad. I am confused. But most of all, I am a rape victim. It has been so many years since the day that my innocence was taken away from me, yet I am still sitting here trying to pick up the pieces that were shattered on those nights. People say that it is a tragedy, while others say that it was my fault. Somedays I believe them. I believe that I am not strong. I am not strong enough to put my broken pieces together…. Continue reading »

Lightening Does Strike Twice

I’ve been raped twice. One left left me bruised, one didn’t leave a mark. Both hurt the same. When I was 16 I got a boyfriend. He was older, and cool, and in a band. He took me to parties, and gave me weed, and made me feel cool, too. I’d only had sex once before him, but I liked it. I should have realized we only have sex after he’d given me something. I should have realized after that day I managed to stop him from forcing it into my ass, the day I hadn’t smoked like he thought I had. But I liked him. I did realize one day after smoking a bowl when I felt something very very wrong. My heart was beating out of my chest, I couldn’t move, I wanted to scratch everywhere, and I felt faint at the same time. I asked him what was going on. He laughed… Continue reading »

My Brothers Two Best Friends

On July 23rd 2016, I went bowling with my brother, his girlfriend Destiny and my brother’s two best friends, Chase and Francisco (Paco). We bowled and had a few drinks at the bowling alley. We even had a funny bet that the loser would have to run down Howard Street naked. (It was a joke bet not a real one.) My brother got first place, I got second, Chase got third, Paco got second and Destiny got last. While bowling a few of my other friends showed up, we will just call all of them Nick. They were very intoxicated. Their DD was drunk so he asked me if I could take them home. I wasn’t drunk so I was able to drive. My brother and the others went to my apartment to pick up some alcohol; I drove Nick and his friends to cookout, the gas station and then back to their apartment and… Continue reading »

BC Oilfield Ruined My Life

If it were to ever happen to anyone. I wish it would happen to me again as I don’t wish this on my darkest enemy. It was Friday and I was blessed with a sunny day off. I had went into the dispatch office in the morning asking if there was any work. With a office full of people my dispatch perked up “congratulations here is you’re 2 year bonus. With smiles from the older fellows and another rude comment form Kurt “i wonder whose going to get in you’re pants first”. Not thinking much of the silly game the office plays i went home and set up the hammock in the back yard and played fetch with the neighbors dog Sophie. It was a lazy day and a well needed one at that. It had been a short cold winter but as us working outside can make a person bitter. The fire pit was… Continue reading »

I Thought I was Safe

I was in class and I thought I was safe. It was my freshman year of high school and it was the week of finals. We didn’t have a final in that class so all of us got to play games. I sat next to him bc my friend was friends w/ him and I thought he was nice. everyone at school knows he’s a big time stoner. he was drinking alcohol in class but no one saw. he put his hand on my leg and I froze. he was a junior. i scooted my chair away bc I just thought it was an accident but his hand was on my leg again. I started to shake. I kept moving my chair away but I couldn’t move. he was gripping my leg tight and he started to rub up and down my thigh. I tried to tell him to stop but he wouldn’t. The guy… Continue reading »

A Voice to be Heard

I just want my voice to be heard for once, I want the truth to be heard and to stop having my words twisted. I’m done being silenced. If you have ever been blamed for your rape due to date rape this story is for you.
My name is Erin McKinney, and I was raped on July 6th, 2011. I grew up in Texas but moved to Connecticut in 2005 after my parents divorce. I hadn’t seen my father in almost 4-5 years, or any of my old hometown friends. My father picked me up from the airport with 2 friends, Holly and Ceasar. My father had struggled with a meth addiction and had been clean for almost 1-2yrs. On too of that he had made two good friends that were also free of hard drug use. I had been in Texas for about a week and we were having a BBQ with a couple friends,… Continue reading »

Last Party

I was a freshman in college at a school only a short distance from my home staying on campus to get the “full college experience”. I was never big on going out to parties because I had no interest in getting in trouble, and I hate the taste of beer. I got invited to a house party with some girls from my floor my second semester. It was their weekly routine and they had never gotten busted so I figured why not. It was not my kind of party…blaring music, too many people jammed together in a dirty dingy basement, barely knew anyone there and nothing worth drinking. I had a beer and stuck it out for a while, but I was ready to go. I found one of the girls I went there with to let her know I was going to walk back to campus, just a few blocks. She said she was… Continue reading »