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Remember as a victim you have done nothing wrong

There are so many opinions. She wore a short skirt. She didn’t say no. She wanted it. Yep… I believe it can be complicated unless you are in the middle of the situation. Then it is very clear. You have said yes or no, or your body has indicated yes or no, very clearly. Historically, silence meant – I abstain. I will not partake. When did silence begin to imply consent? I was talking with a taxi driver recently and he said, from the age of 10 we had clear ideas of what was right and wrong. We knew we should or shouldn’t. There was no doubt. Maybe others were never taught the line or the lines they grew up in were changing. Daily. For me, there are many stories that I can share… many. I don’t share with my friends or family as they will see me as a victim. Then I will suffer… Continue reading »

Home from School

I got home from school, and mom was working. I was 12, and a latchkey kid. I surprised a classmate of mine, who had broken into our home while I was at school. He started it on the couch, and rapidly went for sex. I was a virgin until then. He would not stop or use any protection. He left, and it seems I was the only thing he took. When mom got home, she was mad at me, and wouldn’t call the police, or take me to be examined, or get help. He was in my classes, and I could not get out of them. I soon found he got me pregnant, and I could not concentrate. Mom tried to get me in private school, but it was too expensive. Mom took me for home schooling, and arranged for me to get an abortion. Nobody but us could know what happened. A couple of… Continue reading »

I don’t know what to think

This isn’t rape. I don’t know what it is. I don’t know what to think or feel or even how to act around him. I guess it started when my mom went on vacation and left me and my step dad at the house. He would sleep with me and I didn’t think much of it…until I would wake up in the middle of the night to him cuddling me close. He would have his leg over mine. I stayed up for hours to scared to sleep until I eventually fell asleep. Now after that everytime I would fall asleep with my mom he would touch me, not touch my private parts but he would touch my legs and I would wake up in the middle of the night to that and pretend I was still sleeping like a coward. He would always wake up the next morning and be extremely nice to me. This… Continue reading »

It’s my fault

I’m a small town girl living on her own for the first time in a really big city going to college. I’ve been dating my boyfriend (who lives 5 hours away) for almost 5 years and one night I went out with some friends and ended up getting really wasted to where I blacked out for most of that night. Fast forward 7 weeks later I notice signs of pregnancy but didn’t get an ultrasound until 9 weeks in the pregnancy. At the time, I thought it was my boyfriend (it would be impossible to be anyone else’s as I’ve been exclusive with him) but the timeline she gave me didn’t match with the times by boyfriend came out to see me. In fact, she was about 2 weeks off and I assumed it must’ve been a mistake. It wasn’t until I spoke to another friend about this and she mentioned to me that 9… Continue reading »

Surpris à la Maison

A week after my marriage, I had moved into Pantin, outside Paris, with his mother and son. I had my premier day at new occupation. I remove my stockings, and wanted food. My stepson grappled me to my knees. After a fight, I felt him enter inside me. He only did 2 or 3 entry before he collapses on top of me. He apologized that he dreams of me all day. It might allow unusual thoughts, but I allowed it to pass in secrets, to not cause family dissension. He was young and made an awful mistake. We discussed this, but only for him. Before I moved to US. He wanted to do more complete, but I declined offers. He never did violate again. – Pheobe, age 35

Party Accident

I was in the second trimester of school and the pressure was beginning to psych myself out. My friends told me about a party, knowing I would more than likely, not go. I bombed my trig test and was disappointed and angry. That night, I snuck out of my house (already have taken a few shots) and my friends picked me up. After a half an hour, I lost my friends in the crowd. I drank and drank and took pills someone gave me. I felt like a different person. A guy was making eye contact with me for a while when I was talking to his friend. After minutes of “eye flirting,” I finally went over to say hi. He genuinely seemed sweet. The room smelled only of weed and sweat. It was filled with music with bass so loud you could feel it. Things escalated out of control, way faster than I wanted…. Continue reading »

My husband was molested as a child

This is my husband’s story. He recently confided to me about how terrible of a person his great uncle is. He was molested multiple times by him whom I’ve met a few times in the past. Let’s call him Guu. It started when he was very young (6 or 7) when Guu would babysit him. As a kid, he didn’t really know what was going on. He only knew he would get candies or his favorite food in exchange for Guu touching him (sexual favors). So he never thought anything was wrong with it until he got older (10 years old). He understood what Guu was doing to him is wrong and told him to stop. Guu and his family soon moved out of town, and my husband kinda blocked it out of his head. My husband is now 26. I don’t know why, but a few days ago, he finally told me. I was… Continue reading »

A Lifetime of pain

I have had many experiences with attempted rape before I experienced an actual date rape. It first started as a young child where a family friend would wake me to perform oral sex on him. There was an incident at my school where a cousin of a good friend on two occasions molested me in a lonesome classroom, then one day he tried to rape me, before I knew what was happening to me I was on a bench with my skirt pushed up while he is over me unbuckling his belt, but stopped when he heard footsteps coming down the hallway. My ex, the first guy to take my virginity would use sex as a punishment by applying pain and force. An old friend of mine had a crush on me and so did I, but then one day things got a little out of hand and the next minute I was running for… Continue reading »

Amusement Park

I’m sharing this today because it’s something I’ve told to only three people in my entire life. It feels liberating, knowing that I will be able to get it all out without people knowing who I am. It was at an amusement park, I know that. But I don’t remember how old I was, somewhere around seven or eight. I don’t remember what he looked like. I don’t really remember anything about the actual experience, mostly just what happened before and after. What I do remember feels like it was just a bad dream. Like it never actually happened and it was merely my brain trying to get in a good scare. I was with my mother in the bathroom. The line was long and stalls were small. My mother told me to wait outside the stall she was using until she came out. I now wish that I had. But be it because the… Continue reading »

Sexual Assault by Chiropractor

Dr. Richard Ulm of the Columbus Chiropractic & Rehabilitation Center in Dublin, OH was my chiropractor for a pelvis/lower back running injury I had been trying to recover from for 1 year using multiple techniques and doctors. I began noticing an unusual behavior from him and an unusual issues began to arise. I left a couple of times dizzy and nauseated. He as my first chiropractor and I had no idea what to expect and what was bad chiropractic form. The last 3 visits were extremely unusual and that’s when I first started noticing what appeared to be an alteration to a thoracic adjustment. At the last appointment, I chose to hug myself to prevent his chest from touching mine when doing the thoracic adjustment. He asked me about my job. I loved my job and just started talking about how as an analyst, my job was to reduce a paper’s topic to search terms… Continue reading »