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New Years Eve

We had gone to the big gathering to drink, party, and watch fireworks as 12 passed. There was about 12 or so in our group, but a lot got separated in the crowds, which got more solid as the moment approached, meanwhile everyone got more liquids as well. Midnight rang out, and I kissed all the guys with us, followed by the girls, and then whoever was in reach, and it got more, as I was passed forward to meet more. I was having a lot of fun at that point. I must end the witness story, as the last I can remember is kissing a lot, and a few wandering hands, which I stopped, for the most part. Past that, I woke up in the shower, got undressed(yes, that was the order), and fell asleep on my couch. I got together for brunch with the girls, and we synched diaries on the night. One… Continue reading »

Dream / Recall

I was running running running Past the halls, the screams, the stairs My hand was busy on something -Probably the piece of glass I used to cut him. And then she ripped her necklace off Just as they ripped out clothes off Shattered glass -Another way of showing their power-She said And it was oh so violent He grabbed my hair The floor was cold and There was blood everywhere All I had to do was swallow That was just too much All I had to do I would not; I did. And the taste of his sperm I did not bear -I wanna throw up. -Don’t you dare. (-Why won’t he kill me?) I stood up. And it hurt and they pushed me and I fell and I hit myself and I held to the window and someone passed by and broke it (And they broke me) and they smashed my body against the… Continue reading »

Lost in Europe

I was traveling across France heading into Italy, mostly hitching and traveling in a general direction. I was somewhere near the border, but that was about what I knew. I stopped to ask a man for directions, and he asked me to pay him for his help. I said I had no money, which he found funny. He took off my pack, and told me to get ready. I asked “for what?”, which he also found funny. He kicked out my legs, and elbowed me in the belly. He took off all my clothes, and threatened to beat me to death. He raped me several times, which I had never done any of this sexuality before, forcing me to renew his erection by oral, so he could continue. This could only be described as disgusting. He kept me there until after dark, laughing as he took my pack and all my clothes, leaving me beaten,… Continue reading »

Be Strong

On May 13, 2017 i had my first date with a guy. The plan was to watch this movie that i really wanted to go see. I gave him my address, but he got lost on the way. We ended up missing the movie, and so we decided to go and get something to eat. We were going to catch another movie after we ate. He suggested that we should go over to his apartment to watch Netflix instead. Being the naive person that i am i had agreed. When i got to his apartment all that i could see was a bed. There was no couch. I was a little uncomfortable, so i sat at the edge of the bed. He told me to make myself comfortable and that i could lay down if i wanted to. He was lying down on the bed. My back was hurting, and so i decided to lie… Continue reading »

Drunk and Alone

I went drinking last night with a friend and we both were there intending to pick up. We got pretty wasted from drinks these 2 brothers were buying and we went out and around back to the alley to make out a bit. After a few minutes my friend waved good bye as they went down the alley I guess to go to his place leaving us to have fun. I was a bit drifty but I remember the clear question was it okay to continue which I told him it was okay. I woke up to just as he came in me and remember telling him that was okay and he could keep going but I passed back out. Next I remember a guy trying to flip me over and I told him I’d get sick and I went to wipe my mouth and my hand was on another guys member and he wouldn’t… Continue reading »

Repeat Offender

I had my Tuesday night shift, and it was a cold, wet and still a misty rain, and I just got off the #113 bus as it turned at Fernwood Cemetery, and it goes left to the terminal, and I go right to my apartment and walk home. I was tired and not paying much attention, made obvious as a guy in a bright yellow shirt came from behind to put a knife to my throat. He pulled me behind a row of tombstones next to the road to lay in the mud, kept the knife to my throat and forced me. The next Tuesday night, I was walking the same route, and I saw him step from behind a large monument, but he was in about am arms reach, and still had his knife. Without any visible help, I complied, putting his knife away and letting me keep my top in the cold, he… Continue reading »

St. Louis Riots

you look at all those reports of protesters in St.louis demanding justice, its just an excuse! I see those protesters taking everything from the store under my apartment, and it aint owned by whites or police! I see them take everything from my apartment, and I aint white or police! I see them take me and my daughter, and we aint white or police. They dont want justice, they just take what they want, cause there street thugs! The media shows a few busted windows, but I watched them on top of my teen girl, and that wont be on on news! Please keep this so someday someone can see what really was going down in St.louis.

my rape

i was just raped this weekend a few feet from my house. i just kissed my boyfriend and went across the driveway between the rowhouses and he grabbed me behind the dumpsters. i think i recognized him and said rodney but he punched me in the belly and called me a racist name and still did it. its a few days after and im still hurt. my boyfriend doesnt get that it wasnt my choice and that he doesnt get to do it cause i dont. im not on anything so im scared of getting pregnant. im more scared of my dad. — Georgia

Night walk at community center

I was raped at night off of a community center walkway. It’s 2 minutes from my house, and a pretty well-lit area near the road, but has dense trees. Not to be naive, but I feel like I just never thought something like that could happen to me. I just felt numb afterward. It’s been 4 1/2 months, and no one knows. I am married with a baby on the way. A baby who could be my rapist’s, OR my husband’s. It was too close of a time to tell. I think the worst part is worrying that no one would believe me even if I told them. And I don’t hate myself, I just feel sorry for people that are low enough to do that to another human being. It’s hard to cope with the fact that I can’t tell my husband in fear that he will think I cheated on him!! Then I… Continue reading »


Help. God help me write this, but i think its time i let it out. This is my story about how a man who completely destroyed me within a matter of minutes, three times. At first i didnt know it was rape. After years of abuse i just thought it was normal and no one would talk about it. But surley it happens to everyone? Right? Clearly not. I somehow convinced myself that it was my fault and that i asked for it. And that i was wearing the wrong clothes so it could have happend to anyone. That im clearly a slut because of this. That no man will ever love me because of what has happened. No one will accept me and my past. But no one should ever feel like that, as it is the hardest thing i have ever had to get out of. And im still trying. I was 13… Continue reading »