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Liar, Liar

8 year old is not the time to have this. I was sent to the store, and on the way home, a guy jumped me, lifted my skirt and raped me. I didn’t have words for it then. He stole the change, and I had words for that too. My mom had words too, she called me a liar. I didn’t think much of it when I started hanging over friend’s houses after school. One had access to some porn, and I said this one happened to me. They called me a liar. By junior high, I turned total goth, where depression fit well. I told my story in poems. No one believed I had it in my background. Actually, no no one. I had this boy who followed me outside when I went for a good cry. He said he believed I had a rape secret. He started to kiss me, I didn’t know… Continue reading »

Believe Her

About a month ago, my live in girlfriend didn’t come home. As it got later, I called and texted her about every 15 minutes. I called everyone I knew to find her. By half way through the night, my friends were trying to be honest: If she didn’t come home, she was somewhere, with someone. I felt like a pile of dung that the beetles wouldn’t touch. I thought things were going so well. Why would she look for someone else, especially when I was home? About 10 minutes until dawn, I got a call from her. She needed a ride. I asked who she was with until dawn. She didn’t want to say it. Why didn’t she answer, because she didn’t get them. I almost told her to do to herself what I knew she was doing to someone else all night. She was in the hospital, please come get her. I rushed over… Continue reading »

Bad Morning

I woke up next to this guy. I don’t know what we did. I didn’t stay to find his name. I am in pain. I am not a virgin. I left him a post-it with my contact info. I need a call to discuss this. I want to back up time a day. — Doreene, age 21

Proof, but no Witnesses

Drinking at a party is a Bad Idea! I had won a drinking game! Won is a relative term. After throwing most of it to the porcelain altar, I passed out in a chair downstairs. Usually, that would be all, but I skipped one, and then 2 periods, and went in hoodie and sunglasses to buy the stick. I killed 2 in disbelief, as they were both positive! I hadn’t been with a male in over a year! Not being Holy enough for any alternative, I remember passing out at a party, and asked if anyone saw me picking up. No one did, and some uncomfortable questions started to be asked. I don’t know if I’d rather remember or Forget it, and I’d rather not Find the answers.

Was it my fault

It was spring break of my freshman year. I was drinking and having fun until you attacked me. I was a virgin and planned to wait until I found my soulmate. You took that from me. You took me to your hotel room and held me down and had sex with me. I was recovering from an eating disorder and felt like I was finally beating it. I was small, you were big and I couldn’t push you off. I didn’t scream, my whole body froze. I never said yes but I didn’t scream or hit you. Does that mean it was ok or does that mean it was rape? I remember the awful motion of you pushing yourself into me and the horrible pain. I hated every second and those memories still haunt me. My eating disorder came back full force after you assaulted me. What you did was not ok. 10 years later… Continue reading »

Gang rape and further sexual assaults

May 05 2001 is a date that will always be tattooed on my brain as that was the day I was raped. I was coming home from work and to save a few pounds I decided to take the bus. After a few minutes I realised I was being followed. It was before 8.30 so no shops were opened for me to go into so i kept walking in the hope they would leave me alone but thing then got worse. 2 of the men grabbed me and dragged me down an alley beside a pub. The other 4 guys with them followed laughing and jeering at me. One kept saying you’re going to get it. My clothes were tore from me then they took turns in raping me. When they finished they all were laughing then walked away and left me. I can’t remember how long I lay there for after but I remember… Continue reading »

Broken

I’m so broken I can’t be fixed. They just don’t know it yet. The man who knew everything about me makes me sad. I feel as though the only reason I was born was to witness the three incidents. I’m too damaged to fix!! — Dee, age 48

Had Her Back

A friend and I went to a party, and we went as a pair to watch out for each other. My friend drank too much and was passed out on the living room couch, I was okay. She was still out as most of the guests left, or paired off somewhere. I watched over her, except when I had to use the bathroom. I was only gone a minute, but I came back to her naked on the couch being raped by a guy I didn’t know, with another waiting! I yelled for them to Cut It Out! The free guy came at me an punched me repeatedly in the gut until I fell to the floor. He ripped my clothes, and pulled me to my knees so he could rape me too but from behind so I could watch the others. They laughed alot, especially as they each finished, and when they left. I… Continue reading »

Dee Bhagwanji

When we lived in Tooting, England we were all happy. I was such a nerd because I hated weekends because that meant no school!! Everything was good until one day something changed. I just remember one of the people I called uncle, pulled out his thing and asked me if I wanted to touch it. I don’t remember anything after that. I just know that what he did was wrong!! My mum doesn’t know and she will never know. I haven’t confronted him, because his son is my brother. I love him and I wouldn’t want to hurt him. EVER!! Sam, Sags and Yags are my brothers and I still feel close to them even though we’re thousands of miles apart. However, when I saw this person in London I felt physically sick and immediately had a panic attack. Jamie took me outside and calmed me down. That’s the beginning. Then things got worse. We… Continue reading »

Happy Birthday

I just turned 21 and i had my cousins car and my best friend was my D.D. we had lunch and i had my first legal drink and i also got a free drink from starbucks what a great start right. Im in college away from home so i kinda depended on her to find fun stuff to do. Iv’e probably been drinking since 2pm but thats still no excuse. So fast forward half a bottle of crown, tequila, and two shots of vodka later i found myself in a motel room with a blunt to lips as i normally par-toke in. Next thing i remember is a phone ringing and hands on my breast. I could barely move talk or keep my eyes open. a part of me wanted to just close my eyes because i thought i was just having a real crazy dream until i tried to lift myself up and felt… Continue reading »