I’m about to travel for the film for the first time in a year, since we went to South Africa. It’s hard for me to travel for the film. Not only because of law school, and leaving my family, but traveling has always been hard for me. Ever since Milan, I don’t like to be away from home. I think it brings up the trauma of being alone in Italy when I was raped. I don’t like to sleep in hotels. I have to leave the lights on at night. Some of these things, you never get over. You just have to live with them.
Even though I haven’t been speaking internationally in the last year, a lot has happened. I’m in my second year of law school. I’m doing well in school and have been offered an internship at the Attorney General’s office when I graduate. I hope to be able to do a lot for women who are victims of sexual violence. Being a survivor of rape can give us the courage to change things for other women.
Also, I got married to Oron. We had the wedding I always wanted. It was an orthodox ceremony, in Netanya near where I grew up. My grandmother was so proud. It was the most incredible experience of my life. Oron and I went through a lot to get to the place where we could see our future together. I have become much more religious over the last year. Oron’s family is both secular and religious, like mine, but his life was more secular. Now we have found a way to share our faith and he has made changes that weren’t easy at the beginning, but it has brought us so much closer. I waited for a long time to find someone I could completely trust and count on.
One of the things I’ve changed because of my religion is that I don’t sing in public anymore. I’ve always loved to sing, but in my faith, singing isn’t modest. I was going to record my song “Forgiveness” in Hans Zimmer’s studio in Los Angeles! But now I can’t sing it, so we reached out to some recording artists in the U.S. who are going to record it for me. The song is about a mother asking her daughter forgiveness for not being there when she needed her. But it has different meanings too. I always thought the song could be a duet, from a man and a woman asking each other for forgiveness. We’re going to record it that way in Los Angeles. Natalie Maines from the Dixie Chicks, and Ben Harper, are going to sing it together. They’re excited about contributing something to my project and to speaking out about violence against women, and I can’t wait to hear them sing the song.
Also in Los Angeles, I’m going to meet with some celebrity women who have been raped and who aren’t afraid to talk about it. I’m very proud that they’re joining my cause–these women will help bring more attention to my film. Celebrity or not, we’ve all been through the same things, have suffered in the same ways and we are all trying to heal. It’s a life long process.
I leave tomorrow for my trip. Wish me luck. It takes a lot for me to go through with these shoots. I always think I’m ready, and then it gets really hard. Oron will meet me at the end and we’re going to Mexico for our honeymoon. I just hope the shooting goes well.