1990 was the year when I was going to turn 21 years old…..I went to Geneva and fell in love with a man. I will call him M in my story. We went out for a few dates and then he did not want to meet me anymore. Nothing happen between us…We just had a few dinners. I was of course very sad over the fact that he did not want to meet me anymore…
I was very timid…did not have that much self confidence at that time. One day I met his 20 year older friend…I will call him C in my story. C invited me out for a coffee one late afternoon…..I said yes as I wanted as much info about M as I could get…..
After sitting talking for hours and hours he asked me if I wanted to have something to drink…..I asked him for a coca cola and he went to get it for me….I though he was kind to me and did never expect that he would hurt me the way he did….. In the Coca Cola he put a drug….I don’t have a clue what kind of drug as I do remember a lot from that anal rape. But also the fact that if felt as if I could not move my body….as I tried to make him stop I was not able to …..I know it hurt a lot but was in between two worlds….I was also passing out a few times and woke up and begged him to stop as he raped me again…..He slapped my face and just stopped…angry he was as he stood up and walked away….I did not know where I was….but I was in his apartment. He called a taxi for me and asked me to leave….It took me 3 days before I could tell anyone….I was in a very strange mood and I had problems to sit as it hurt. I left Switzerland 4 days after.. …The last night after telling some friends they called a man that had connections at the police department….we went all for a coffee and as I was sitting in the coffee place the man C walked in with an older woman….They looked at me….He whispered something in her ears and they smiled / taunted me……Don’t know the right word…….We had to leave and I flew back the day after……going thru a examination at the hospital. The doctor told me that whenever I could feel comfortable to speak about it I had to….but my mom told me that I had to be quite as other people might think I was a whore….and my sister did never want to hear about it…..My dad came to me once in a while and asked me if I wanted to talk about it…..he was so hurt that he wanted to go to Geneva and kill that man…..but it was not easy to talk to my father about it and I did not want to upset him anymore…..I did have friends during the years that helped me thru it but I have to say that life has not been easy and I realized after watching this movie that the pain of not having any really support from the women in my life that was my mom and my sister hurted very much. I would like to help other girls today and I feel strong….but I live alone today. Having two adorable children but I am still very unlucky in meeting men and mostly I am drawn to men that does not treat me very nice……I consider myself as a very happy woman and a strong one….Have been going thru many hard and painful things in life but I try to see everything as lessons and what I can learn from every thing that is happening to me….always want to believe in the good and know that we have two chooses in life……to stand up and move on or to lay down and fall apart…..I choose to stand up and see the beautiful stuff in life……and I won’t let anyone hurt me anymore….That man took a lot away from me….But I decided after a while that I would not let him take away the best in me…..So I decided to move on and also to know that there are so many wonderful men out there…..
Always remember that you are beautiful….they can hurt your body but not your beautiful spirit…….. Love to all of you!!