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5

I was only 5 years old when these malicious things had happened to me. Things no child should ever have to experience. I am now 18 years old, an older sister, a mother, a daughter, an aunt, a wife, and yet still a human being. I say “human being” because, when things like these occur most turn to suicide. I was strong enough to overcome these battle scars and so are you. I am still healing, even after 13 years. Now let me begin telling you what I had experienced as a little girl. At the age of 5, I was sexually molested, abuse, assaulted, to which had all turn into traumas that lead me to think it was normal and okay.

The sweat.
Under the blankets, he touched me. My aunts, uncle, and I were all under the blankets on the top bunk bed. The game was to stay under the covers. I had remember my uncle taking off my pants and remember him feeling on me and all the sweat. He started touching me and then rubbing against me.

I am a Sexual Experiment.
They held me down while I screamed, cried, and begged them to stop. I screamed for mommy and daddy, but they weren’t home. They weren’t there to protect me from these demons. This was another assault when I was 5. My two aunts had held me down, one held my arms down, the other held my legs. They stripped my pants and underwear off. I was crying and screaming and begging for them to stop. They had said “you have to do it (sex) with your brother”, at the time I still was too young to understand anything. Then they pulled my younger brother in the room and took his pants off. This was when I knew it wasn’t normal nor right. It was despicable. I had cried and screamed at the top of my lungs knowing no one would save me, she then had tried to put my little brothers penis in my vagina to see some action. All I could remember afterwards was her being mad and saying “she’s bleeding”. There was blood. Bright red blood coming out of me.

Locked in the dark.
My little brother and I were playing game, later on that day my aunt had asked us to get ready so we could go to the park. My brother and I got ready, once we were about to leave the house my aunt had told me I couldn’t going. I had asked why, and had cried. She wouldn’t answer me. She was very angry. She dragged me to the closet and locked me in there. There was no light, as I sat and cried I began to think about my death. I was so confused of this punishment, what did I do? I then stopped and banged on the door only to find out a chair was against it. I kept banging and then my uncle (not the one who molested me) came and got me out.

These evil things all happen to me at the age of 5. Growing up, I thought these things were normal which messed me up. I started acting like any other kid who were assaulted. I started “rubbing” on things, on others, touching myself, and began dreaming about sex. I stopped doing these things in the 5th grade because then, I knew that wasn’t right and inappropriate for me to do. Growing up, I never really realized that I been sexually abused/molested/assaulted until until today, April 3rd 2017. I guess I knew it was wrong but I didn’t realize I was a victim. My mentality was that we were family and that family would do no harm but look out for you and or protect you. I was wrong. For so long, I didn’t realize, now that I realize it’s too late. I had held this secret in for 13 years and now it’s finally out and I admit I am or was a victim, yet now a survivor. I have never told my parents due to the fact that I didn’t know what was happening and also afraid of punishment.

— Survivor, age 18

1 comment

  • Alexis

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