When I was 16 years old I was a nerdy person. I kept to myself and didn’t go out to parties or other. So when I got my first boyfriend I was ecstatic. He was a practical god to me. Things had been going well, until one day when we were both making out at a movie theater. I don’t know what got into him but he started to go for my breasts reaching his hand down my pants. I had to push away from him and he tried to follow up. I wasn’t ready I told him. He simply tried again saying he was and that it was time to prove I loved him. I just stood up and left without a second thought. When I got home I tested him to say that I was sorry. I didn’t mean to leave do abruptly. But I wasn’t ready yet. I was still a virgin. He said he wanted to meet me in school by the cafeteria area. He said he had made a special lunch for me to make it up to me and how sorry he was. The next day I went and it was my favorite food spaghetti with chili mixed into it. It was delicious however afterwards I didn’t feel so well. I felt dizzy and sick and I practically fainted. My boyfriend rushed me to the bathroom but not the girls. He took me into the boys. He whispered to me, “you’re going to stay quiet you bitch or we are going to hurt you.” I was terrified. I couldn’t fight because of the drug he put in the food. He held me up against a wall and ripped my clothing off. Then a group of his friends came into the locker room and instead of helping me they just stripped down as well. I was scared. I didn’t know what to do. I couldn’t fight but I was still aware of everything that was happening. His friends finished taking my clothing off before my boyfriend came up to me and entered me a sick look of satisfaction of his face. He looked down at me in a twisted glee as he pumped away my virginity gone. When he finished he stepped back and his friend replaced him. This went on until my boyfriend grabbed me again and hit me repeated and said I was going to suck him off and like it. I did it. It made me feel horrible, and when his friends followed his lead I died inside. When they all finished I curled up and my boyfriend took pictures of me lying on the ground their seed all over my body. Then he made me take a shower in the locker room with him in which he raped me. He made me clean out my mouth wash out my other parts clean off and when I was done all that he gave me my clothes and and smiled saying that if I told anyone he would post those pictures. The only reason I am here is because my father found the scars I had carved into my arm. And the gun I had almost used on myself.
— Survivor, age 17