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All Just Too Much

I know I’m young, I’m only 25. But that doesn’t mean I haven’t experienced more in my few years on this earth than most will in their life. 17 years ago, when I was 8, my friend’s older brother raped me. I didn’t tell anyone, and over the years, I’ve only told 3 people, none of whom are still in my life. My father was physically and emotionally abusive, and I moved away after high school, and moved in with the first guy that treated me well. He was my first boyfriend. He was so sweet at first. That didn’t last very long before he started assaulting me on a daily basis. Sometimes he would drug me, and sometimes I would drug myself just so I wouldn’t know what was happening. After a year and a half I was finally able to get away from him, only to end up being passed around by someone else for about 4 months before I got another boyfriend. He moved in with me and helped me out. Then on my way to work one day some guy rode his bike up next to me and out his hand on my butt. When I looked over in shock he had this huge creepy smile on his face. I started walking faster and he rode away, only to circle back and do it again. I was crying by the time I got to work, but when I told my boyfriend that night, he didn’t care. I took cabs home at night so I didn’t have to walk in the dark, and one night, the driver went past my apartment complex and just kept driving. I kept saying “please just take me home”, and he just kept driving. He was talking to me the whole time, but I wasn’t listening because I just kept repeating “please just take me home” over and over and over, to no avail. He stopped the car somewhere far away and I had no idea where we were. He made me do things to him until I guess he finally had enough, and then he dropped me off at my apartment complex. My boyfriend didn’t care when I told him. I broke my lease and moved back home shortly after that, and my next boyfriend really wasn’t any better, he was abusive like my dad had been. I’m choosing to stay single now, and I barely leave my apartment.

— Survivor, age 25


  • Alissa Ackerman
  • Zig


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