At the age of 7, I was raped by a neighbor boy. I was in the barn that was on the property of this boy and his sister who was my friend. His sister, my sister, and myself were up in the upper loft playing hopscotch. My sister and my friend didn’t want to play anymore and I did so they left the barn and I stayed to play by myself. As I was playing hopscotch, I twisted my ankle and fell. I had a difficult time getting up so I could go down the stairs and go home to my house which was across the street. As I attempted to go down the stairs, my friend’s older brother who was 18 at the time, came up the stairs and asked me what was wrong. I told him that I had twisted my ankle playing hopscotch and I wanted to go home. He told me he could make it feel better. At that moment, he raped me.
I will never forget that moment in my life. I see it every day. I didn’t know what had happened to me until I was 13 in health class in middle school when they were talking about sexual relations. It was then that I realized that I was raped. I never discussed it with anybody until that time and that evening after that class in school, I went home and I told my mother what happened. She told me I should have come to her years ago to tell her because now there was nothing that they could do about it because the family had moved on. I didn’t talk about it for a long time. Not until I was in my mid 20’s when I had a daughter of my own. It was then I decided it was time I needed to talk about it because I had kept everything inside of me all those years.
I found that the more I talked about it, the better I felt, and the easier it was to deal with what had happened to me. I never have had professional help for my rape. I did it myself by talking about it and living through it and making it a part of my life so it didn’t hurt anymore. The more I talked about it, the more I got used to it, and the less pain I fe lt. Thank you for sharing your story with the world, Linor. I agree with you 100 percent, that the only way to heal is by talking about it.