My mother and I fled to a new town. I was fourteen when a local gang defined I was the new virgin kid on the block. My father had been institutionalized, my brothers left home, my recovering from 23 years of a difficult marriage and coign of valium.
One night, while innocently out playing on the way home, I was dragged into an old doctors surgery. The ring leader of the gang order 5 others to hold me down. I was threatened to keep quiet. After this the abuse continued for months, each gang member taking their turn.
I felt so much guilt and shame for many many years – I went into take drugs as a way to blot this part of my life out. My behavior became extreme. My stepfather threw me on the streets. When I was nineteen I left town with just 2 bags of belongings never to return. In my early twenties I was having panic attacks. I took up yoga, straightened my life out as best I could and became a teacher. Then my mum dad and brother died. Once agin I was in turmoil. I went onto become a spendaholic as a way to escape the dark clouds. I accumulated much debt, financial, emotional and spiritual.
I have now written a book and help others. I have found a link between spending problems with people who have been abused – as wealth and well being are sabotaged.
I am now 50, my screams never left me for over 30 years. I did seek counseling on my journey to debt freedom. I did walk into a police station 6 years ago and report the historical rape. I did find healing, however on seeing this film last night it was like a calling. I have never truly spoke out about my ordeal. I want to write a book about this but feel what is the point. What would my kids think. Linor, you are truly an inspiration thank you.