I was not much of a party girl my freshman year of college. My friends heard of a party off campus and said they would not take no for an answer. We got dressed and even bought our own alcohol as m best friend was worried that the drinks may get spiked with something else. We arrived early and hung out with the host who were all football players at the school. More students arrived, music was being played, students dancing and drinking. It started to get late, and one of my friends left me and another girl stranded. Two of the host offered to give us a lift.
I felt so dizzy and could barely walk. One of the “gentlemen” carried me into my room, got me a glass of water, and then proceeded to change my clothes so that I would be comfortable. I felt numb. Could not even move my mouth or limbs. When I tried to talk, he laughed and said,”Don’t bother trying to say “no”, you probably won’t remember this anyway.”
I laid there, unable to move. I passed out during the rape and woke up with him still inside me. Finally I screamed as loud as I could, “STOP.” By then he had already finished. He got off of me, laughed, and left. He left the condom he used in the trash by my desk.
I woke up the next morning still naked. I showered got dressed and called the police station. They told me all campus incidences have to be reported on campus and not with the police. I went to campus security and told them what happened. One officer seemed genuinely concerned, but when he brought his boss in to tell him about my “complaint,” the boss sat next to me and said, “Now, do you really want to file a complaint with someone that is graduating in a month?”
I sat there speechless, and nodded “no.” Maybe if I would have said “yes” things would have been different.
That was the longest month. I would see him on campus and he would look at me and laugh the same way he laughed that night. Every time someone smelled like him I would have the urge to vomit. He kept requesting me as a friend on social media. I sent him a message once that said, “I remember what you did to me and the thought of you and I as friends makes me ill.”