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He doesn’t even know he raped me

I was very drunk one night at a party and as I swiped through my tinder I matched with this boy. He messaged me really quickly and told me he was a senior and that he thought I was pretty and that we should hang out. I was really drunk but I was over the party and told him he could meet me at my dorm and we could watch a movie. I don’t know what I thought was going to happen but I was drunk and agreed to let a stranger into my home. My friend and her boyfriend walked me half way home and I remember her joking with me to be safe. I actually laughed and told her I would be fine. As I walked up to my dorm, I saw this really tall guy standing at the entrance. I was kinda nervous when I saw him because he was so tall but he gave me a hug and we started talking as I signed him in. When we got to my room the door was still shutting when I asked him what movie to watch. As soon as the door shut he was right next to me kissing me and grabbing me. I kept telling him to slow down but he just kept ignoring me. He wanted to have sex and when I said no he didn’t stop. I laid on my bed motionless as he did what he wanted. I told him it hurt a few times but he just kept going. He waved goodbye and promptly left after. I couldn’t stop crying and called my friend who helped me to shower and change my sheets. He texted me the next morning asking to “hang out again.” My rapist didn’t even know he raped me. I texted him back telling him that the bruises on my body were not okay and that I didn’t want to ever hear from him again. I see him on campus sometimes and he acts like he doesn’t know me. I feel like throwing up everytime I see him. My brother goes to my school too and when he found out he looked at me so sad. My brother still asks me to report it every few months, I never have.

— Survivor, age 19

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