I remember arriving. there was a recycle bin at the door already overflowing with cans. I remember the loud music.
I don’t know when who where or how. the why and what were obvious!
I looked down and could see between my legs. he didn’t even take the time to pull my pants all the way off. I could see my area and his organ and my blood. even as he went hard I felt nothing. somewhere I threw up and my clothes had blood.
I don’t know how I got home or even inside without help or being seen!
I asked around on monday and no one but me knew what happened to me. if it was someone I knew no one could name him.
even later the friend I came with didn’t know who and didn’t see me with anyone and didn’t believe me. the main reason was that I didn’t get pregnant. biology is not my friends strong point nor is empathy.
— Survivor, age 18
Dear survivor -thank you so much for sharing your story here. First I want to say that I believe you. Memory loss and having fragmented memories of what happened is not uncommon for trauma survivors of any kind. I’m so sorry to read that your friends haven’t been supportive. But that doesn’t mean you don’t deserve to be supported. I would encourage you to find a therapist to talk to. They can help you work through your emotions and support you as you heal. Because you can heal; I believe in you!!! Sending you lots of love and support! Alexis
Please also be aware that what happened to you is NOT your fault. This guy is a criminal who MEANT to do this on purpose, planned in advance, he may have drugged you. It’s not unusual for friends to not understand the exact situation . You are brave to post here and share your feelings to help others – yes try to see someone to talk to, a therapist, as that will help you heal! Stay brave !