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He said I wanted it

I was 17 when I was raped. I was at a school function when a guy I knew as one of my school mates older brother approached me.
Being in a verbally abusive relationship at the time, I liked the fact he was speaking nicely to .,me and was acting decent. Eventually I noticed it was getting dark, and he offered me a ride. I was naive, I was trusting and some say I was foolish.
He got his friend and they drove me to somewhere secluded. The doors had child locks on the doors and windows. I was not above throwing myself out the door while in motion.
He and his friend took turns raping me and sodomizing me. I don’t know how long it lasted it felt like forever. My screams seemed to excite them more.
I didn’t fight back, because I was held immobile and looking back I was in shock, and I was scared out of my mind.
The aftermath was worse. The shame, the guilt and the rapist reminding me I accepted the ride so no matter how much I said no and tried to push him off I wanted it. When I told a classmate she confronted the guy who said it was consensual. My friend took his side, and called me a slut.
I kept it quiet, but one day years later in a psychology class they spoke about rape and something inside me broke. 4 years later I finally sought counseling.
I learned I have nothing to be ashamed of. I am the victim and a survivor. I am not to be blamed. I also started martial arts which gave me a measure of confidence I needed
Sorry if this story is long I needed to get it all out.

— Survivor, age 33

1 comment

  • Alexis

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