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I Didn’t Choose This Life

My mom met a guy after my dad moved away. She took me to his house to meet his family and children. A few months his sons became my step brothers. There was the oldest which was the nice one and the youngest at the time about 14-15 while I was 4 or 5 he sexually abused me. My parents would leave him to babysit and my older brother had just moved out. He would feel up on me, make me watch porn with him , make me sit on his lap and do things. Some nights while my stepdad would be downstairs and my mom at work he would tell me to go out something nice on and come back. On road trips me and him would have to share the third row seat and he would tell me to be quiet and begin to touch on me. When I had sleepovers he’d ask if we all wanted to play hide n seek and I knew what that meant I was so embarrassed my friends would think I was a freak. He would tag whoever he wanted to be with him. One day my mom caught him feeling on me and spanked me I never knew why it wasn’t me it was him I was young I didn’t know. I think that’s why I held it in till now I am 16 I let it out in therapy to my mom. I later that day told my step dad they wanted to handle it and get the law involved but I have such a big heart and the damage is already done I won’t let them.he still lives with us he is now 21. I’m so haunted by him. I keep my room door locked all day. He sometimes comes in or catches me off guard and hugs me until I hug him back no matter how many times I tell him to get off. I have a boyfriend that I love so much but sometimes dislike because he resembles my step brother. We can never play fight because he likes to hold me down and it brings flashbacks to my childhood and it ruins the fun. My stepbrother has ruined my life and it took me 11 years to tell someone. I am now suffering from deep depression and anxiety. Am I wrong for not letting my parents do something?

— Survivor, age 16

2 comments

  • Saadi
  • Alexis

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