I didn’t think she would do this. I look back at everything that happened and I hate myself because I didn’t see the signs. It happened 2 times but I don’t remember the first time. The second time I remember. I went to her house to go in her hot tub and when we got up to her room she said that she needed to go change. Later after she changed she came back. The next thing I remember she starts taking my swimming suit. I stood there. I was terrified. I didn’t fight back. I remember screaming in my head begging her to stop but nothing came out. She brought me down to the floor and rolled on top of me. She started groping me and touched me in places I never wanted to be touched. The memory is starting to fade and I wish I could remember but at the same time I don’t. I don’t want to remember her. I’m 16 and I have to see her everyday. A lot of my friends are still friends with her too and it hurts. It feels like I was stabbed. When I was younger I was sexually assaulted by two guys in my foster home. I don’t remember anything that happened. My brain shut it out. I told her about it and I didn’t think she would hurt me. Before she would kiss me on the cheek and grope me while giving me a “back rub”. I didn’t want to lose her friendship so I didn’t say anything so it escalated. I hate myself for letting her hurt me. She told me that all friend did that. They don’t. I was to scared to say no and now I’m scared forever. I messed up my post before but now I’m posting again so there is no confusion.
— Survivor, age 16