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It Started With Date Rape

I was only 16 years old and had been dating a guy from another high school for about three months. I invited him to a dance, sort of a pre-prom prom dance for sophomores in high school. On the way home he gave me a lot of alcohol -shots ,beer, and obviously I don’t remember what else.

I remember when we got near my house where I was supposed to be dropped off he pulled into a private drive and we ended up on the grass and I remember saying “no, no, no, no.” It happened anyway that he —and I hesitate to say this even to this day – but the fact is he raped me. Back then No one ever heard of date rape-after all , you were guilty if you dated the guy that obviously meant you asked for it and automatically gave consent. It affected the entire rest of my life I married an abusive guy who beat me up regularly. Carried around a sense of guilt all
my life.

It is such a huge feminist issue that no one understands because they are so uneducated. We are taught to be caregivers and we are responsible for the behaviors of not only ourselves but men. If they act uncontrollably it is somehow always our fault. I’m grateful to Linor for having stepped up and instead of being a victim is an activist. The subject of sexism needs to be discussed without fear on the part of the sexist or the victims of sexism. And too often we are both.

– Barb Puthoff

1 comment

  • Alissa Ackerman

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