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Just wanted to be loved

I was with this person for 3 years he said he cared and that he loved me he had me thinking it was going to Be so much more for three years I cared about this person. I took everything from him the hurt,the pain in the abuse that he did to me I knew it wasn’t right but I stayed because I loved him he took advantage of me every way he could I still cared for him .He promised me that things would be better . He will call me over to his house saying he just wanted to see me or he just wanted to spend some time with me but when i got there he will be trying to take my clothes off and I tell him no then he will pull my clothes down and start to rape me I’ll be crying tears in my eyes and he still doing it it’s like he don’t even care .I would tell him all the time what he was doing was wrong and that I didn’t want to do any thing with him that he raped me. All he would just say you wanted it and I would tell him no, I didn’t He would say what ever like it’s nothing. For three years I took this abuse from him sexually mentally and emotionally abuse when I used to leave his house I will have tears in my eyes as I’m driving home he will call me and ask me if I’m OK and i would ask him why did he do that to me and all he would say “You Wanted It “and I would tell him no I didn’t I would say I wasn’t going back but I found myself going back because he kept apologizing to me telling me that he was going to do it again. I knew it was wrong for him doing what he did to me. I had started not wanting to go over to his house because I knew when I got over there what he was going to do I finally got out of the relationship friendship whatever it was. I met up with someone else that knew him and they told me that he did the same thing to a family member of hers that he met her on the Date line he invite her over to his house and he start taking her clothes off and she told him no he still tried to rape her but she ended up leaving his house That night she never looked back to this day she’s scared to be around him she don’t even like to hear his name .When she hear his name she gets scared she would say don’t tell him nothing about me she really was scared of him. I felt the same way when he would ask me to come over to his house i would be scared to go to this day now I don’t like to see him I’m moving away from the area where he’s at. when I told the police about what he had did to me they wanted me to press charges and take it to court but they said it was going to be hard to prove it because that he was going to say i’m just saying that because he was with some one else and that i stayed with him for three years ,so I just let it go to this day i ask myself why did i put up with him treating me like he did and why i didn’t say anything sooner to the police what he was doing to me I cared about this person i did n’t think about what he was doing was wrong but i knew that i didn’t deserve what he was doing to me .I was being raped by some one that i cared for and was with for three years .No matter what RAPE is RAPE.

— Survivor, age 40


  • Yunchae
  • Alexis


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