Three things happened in my life. When I was younger I was molested by 3 men in my life, all family. I still blame myself till this day. Every touch, every word so powerful. I grew up a messed up girl from that. Move forward to the future, on April 23, 2017 I invited a friend over, someone I had trusted but I was naive because I didn’t know him crazy long. He forced himself upon me, I said, “no get off”. he pulled my pants down, and I tried to pull them up, he was too strong. He put his wait on me and I told him I was dating someone I can’t do this get off me. “I’m not cheater, I said no now get off.” I said. He told me I wanted it and he knew it. I told him no I really don’t. He needed to leave. He raped me and I told him time to leave. I laughed as he left pretended like everything was fine but that night tried to take my life with 107 pills. I ended up in the hospital. It wasn’t funny. They let me go and a few days later I started cutting again after a while of doing so fine. He messed me up. Not even a year year, December 29, 2017 my best friend died. Of course right before my birthday. I was depressed wouldn’t leave the house. On January 5th one of my very good friends of 7 years took me out for the second time to a bar and that time I happened to blackout out. Although I must state when I was sober I told him whatever happens I do not want to have sex. Do not touch me I will never with him I don’t see him that way and he agreed. I woke up in random moments and one with him in me and one t the end. He told the police I said yes, but we all know even if I said yes I was drunk and I said no when I was sober. There wasn’t enough evidence and they let him go. today is the third month and i’m still hurting and crying and I forgive them but I will never be the same. I made the mistake for not reporting the first rape and I report the second and I have no support now.
— Kortney, age 21