I was on my first ever night out when I got speaking to a group of boys who then took me back to their house. I do not remember willingly making the decision to go back to the house. When we arrived one boy took me to this room and I remember being on the floor when he raped me. I kept falling in and out of consciousness and awaking to see a man on top of me raping me. I didn’t try and move I just let it happen. This is how I lost my virginity. Afterwards I tried to convince myself that it was what I wanted and that it was consensual, it took me a day to realise what had actually just happened. A year later it affects me in so many different aspects, I never thought it would affect me the way it has and from reading other peoples stories I understand that it can leave a mark on victims for the rest of their lives. I still don’t feel ready to get help or speak to a councillor as I find it very hard to speak about in person, however I feel as if this is the only way I am going to get better.