I was 8 years old when me, my mom, brother and sister went to visit my dad and his family in Arizona. My siblings and I wanted to stay the night with our cousins. My mom and dad left. When we were all asleep my uncle came into the room and quietly woke me up and told me that my mom said it was time for a shower. Half asleep and confused I got up thinking my mom was back. He took me to the restroom and closed and locked the door. He turned on the water and told me to get undressed. I just stood there not knowing what to do. He eventually pulled my shorts and underwear down and told me to lay down and be quiet or else he was going to kill my mom, brother and sister. I was scared and didn’t want them to die so I did what I was told. He raped me and when he was done he told me to shower and to go back to bed. I was bleeding and sore. I had to lie to my mom the next day and told her I started my period. It was a believable lie since I had my first period when I was 8.
I never told my mom what had happened until last year when I was 23 years old. I get bad anxiety every December on the day that it happened.
I hated men for the longest time. I never wanted a boyfriend but then I eventually got one in high school. He was no good. He was abusive and had raped me once because I didn’t want to have sex with him one night. I ended up having a miscarriage cause he got mad at me for letting his food get cold and he punched me in my stomach. I was 17 and swore off of men. And not as in I became gay, I just didn’t want a boyfriend.
I’m now 24 years old and have an amazing boyfriend. He accepts me for who I am. He knows everything about my last boyfriend but he doesn’t know about my rape from when I was 8. I don’t know how to tell him.