Dad’s dad grabs my breast and french kisses me when I am 11, 12 years old.
Dad lifts me up above his head and drops me on the ground breaking my ribs and gets on top of me and won’t get off until I threaten to tell mom age 14.
Age 16, a catholic priest approaches me sexually.
Age 20, a Berkley university professor offers me a ride to my car after I get off at 2am from waitressing. He is a regular customer at the Solomon Grundy’s. He will not take me to his car, but to his apartment. I did not think he would take advantage of me, but he raped me and it was just after I had an abortion because my boyfriend did not want the baby, I begged him not to rape me but he did not care.
I was 23 on Maui and had gone to a house warming party at a friend’s house. It was around 1976. I went to the parking lot looking for a ride back to town. A large local man grabbed me and dragged me to the open field. He said that he was from the royal family, that the white man had stolen his land, and he could take whatever he wanted. He threatened to kill me if I told anyone. I lost consciousness during the rape and woke up wandering near the cliffs. I reported to the police the next day and they just laughed and joked about another haole girl being raped. Because there was no visual identity they said I had no case. They did not offer me any medical attention or support of any kind. That is when I joined women helping women because I found out there was one rape a day in Hawaii and that the police in Hana did nothing to help the rape victims.
I was 26, my ex-boyfriend a park ranger at Oheo in Hana, had asked if he could spend the night so he could go to the crater early the next day for bird observation. I had not seen him for about 9 months. I told him fine, he could stay in the extra room. I woke up in the middle of the night with him on top of me raping me. I kicked and screamed and tried to push him away. Afterwards he said he had missed me. I was hurt, angry and felt violated. I became pregnant from the rape and called him to tell him. He denied the child as his and said he was sure I was sleeping with someone else, of which I was not. I did not report the rape to the police because of his reputation on the island and to protect his family. When he did not help me when I became pregnant was more betrayal. I aborted the child with herbs and acupuncture and it took years for me to forgive him. He told me after the rape at the party the local man was bragging about the rape. I asked him to please tell me who it was but he would not tell me. I am still haunted today and want to know and confront that person. I want to find the professor too and confront him. I am so concerned for other women and my own daughter. How can rape be stopped in the world. I want the penalty to be castration. Men’s desire needs to be removed.
Thank-you for your public work. I have felt a need to speak about the rapes. My family never knew. Nor has my ex-husband.