One day, I hope my daughter is able to share her story but for now, she is but a child. As her mother, this has been the most traumatizing thing I have ever experienced. It was my greatest fear and it came true.
My ex husband and I have been divorced for almost ten years. He has never been in my children’s lives very much. He was kind of a deadbeat- didn’t pay child support, didn’t see them very often.
About two years ago, he started getting in trouble with the police because he has a drug addiction and was stealing to pay for drugs. While he was in jail, he started calling the kids. It was the first time their dad had ever called them to talk to THEM in their lives and they were very happy.
When he was released from jail, I made him work up the trust before I would let him take the kids again. But he did, he was doing everything right and I really thought he had turned over a new leaf. He picked up the kids regularly for about 4 months and everything seemed fine.
Then, very quickly, everything changed. I started noticing that the kids were reluctant to go see their dad for the weekend and when they came home on Sunday night, they would be cold, hungry, and complaining about their dad. They said the house was dark, dirty, and their dad wasn’t feeding them.
At first, I thought maybe they were just being a little spoiled because at my house, they have everything they need. I started sending food with them when they visited their dad so that he would have no excuse not to feed them.
The next weekend they went to see him, my daughter sent me a text that she didn’t want to stay there any more. My heart dropped. My daughter has always idolized her father. For her to not want to be with him any more, I knew something was terribly wrong.
That’s when she told me that the night before, she woke up to her dad touching her private parts. He touched her over and under her shorts. She said it lasted for about 10 minutes before he stopped and went to bed. She said the next day, he acted like it had never happened. Like everything was normal.
She was very brave and told me the next day and I called the police immediately. That was September 15, 2018, the day which will be burned in my memory forever.
That was four months ago. He has not been arrested yet, I’m not even sure if he knows that I know what happened because the police advised me to have no contact and not answer his calls.
For the first few months after it happened, he kept calling my daughter’s cell phone and my cell phone, leaving voicemails and texting. He acted like nothing ever happened and that we were just not calling him back for no reason.
I will not let him see the kids again, over my dead body. Even though our case was very unusual, I feel certain that he would do it again if he had the chance- he would do whatever he thinks he can get away with. The kids have not been back to see him since it happened and I would run away with my kids before I let anyone force me to let him see the kids.
I spent the first month or so looking over my shoulder at every turn. I was terrified that he would try to abduct the kids or that he would find some way to get to them. I was scared that nothing would be done about it.
The case is still ongoing. Charges have not yet been filed. The investigators seem confidant that they will be.
I’m still very scared, angry, confused, and sad. But we are not going to let him ruin our lives. My daughter is in counseling and she is doing wonderfully. She is my brave hero.
I hope that by sharing what happened to her, to us, that we can help someone else.