From the ages of 14-16, Ii lived with my father in Malaysia. At first, I was happy and thought I could take a year in school down there to learn about the culture and meet other people. I lived with my father, stepmum and stepbrother.
Everything was like normal in at first months, but then my stepbrother began to come to my room while I was sleeping. I would wake up to having his private parts in my hand or near my face. He said that no one would believe me if I told them.
Everytime we were alone home, he locked me outside and attacked me. At the end, I was so afraid I would be up all night waiting for him. I knew he would come every night and every morning I pretended that everything was like normal. I pretended that I was happy. I wasn’t happy at all. I was afraid for being home where you should feel safe. I didn’t feel safe at all.
One night, when my dad was on a business trip, I found myself so scared that I didn’t know what to do. So, I wrote my dad an email and explained everything to him. I was so afraid that he would be mad at me.
When my dad came home, he had a talk with my stepbrother and he told him that he only had touch me once. My dad believed it…
I am still afraid to tell my mum. I’m afraid she won’t believe me like my dad.
At this point today, in year 2015 four years after what happened to me, I can’t have a proper talk with my stepbrother. I can’t accept what he did to me. I can’t accept his apology for I lost my self at that point.
I am still afraid of him.