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Never Be the Same Again

On 03/02/11 my world changed forever I knew this guy he was acquaintance we decided to hangout I made it very clear to him I didn’t want to do anything sexual and he agreed and he told me he wouldn’t do anything that I didn’t want to do. So I went to his place had a few drinks and was sitting on the couch watching TV I kept falling asleep next thing I know he wakes me up and begins to sexually assault me.

He forces me to give him oral then he puts me on the floor and rapes me I was scared and in shock my body went numb I was crying after it was over I told him to take me home. I didn’t report it or go to the hospital I was afraid no one would believe me or they would tell me it was my fault. I cried all night I couldn’t sleep I even started to have flashbacks I felt depressed i even started to self-harm and wanted to take my life that night.

A few days later, I went to work and I got this sick feeling in my stomach like he was going to come in my workplace and sure enough he did. Every time I saw him I had a panic attack I couldn’t stand his presence or the sight of him it literally made me sick. He stalked and tormented for almost a year he came in my work place 7 days a week 3-5 times a day just to torment me he would always come to my line or wonder the store for hours and stare at me. I felt violated all over again. I almost quit my job. I developed PTSD started going to therapy and was on antidepressants. I couldn’t take the trauma he was causing me I wanted to die I almost took my life, but I didn’t because I had a son and I couldn’t leave him like that especially since his dad wasn’t taking care of him and he left us my son is what kept me going.

I decided to get a temporary restraining order against my attacker. I was scared but I had to find the courage to stand up for myself and I was taking somewhat of my life back. Even when the temporary restraining order was in place he didn’t stop he continued to stalk and torment me he was physiologically abusing me. I eventually moved away but I still deal with the trauma.

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  • henna
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