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September 13th, 2019

He was right

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I was dating this older man for about over 3 months and I was very happy with this person and we made so much happy memories in such a short time but long story short it just did not work out. He did not want to break up but I...
August 17th, 2019

My/our German “Weinstein” Case

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My name is Jany Tempel. I live both in Germany and Thailand. I turned public now, to end the big silence of our country. Almost twenty years ago I had already written a novel about my arduous life. The book wasn’t published back then, mainly because I reported on crimes...
March 11th, 2021

was i raped?

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When I was about 4 years old my brother (8yo at the time) got in the tub with me and started asking me if I knew what sex was, I said no as a lot of 4 year olds would say, he asked me if i wanted to know what...
November 15th, 2020

J’avais 13 ans

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J’avais 13 ans j’étais allé avec mon amie chez un gars pour la soirée ils étaient trois gars et c’etait la première fois que je buvais de l’alcool et ce gars qui s’appelle pascal m’a agressé. Je ne l’ai dis a personne et j’ai fait comme si rien ne s’était...
May 18th, 2019

We were drunk

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I still hear a nagging voice in my head telling me the way I feel isn’t valid. I was at a party with my friends from home over break from college. I carpooled with a guy I would have easily called my best friend at the time. We were extremely...
March 22nd, 2023

I was 14

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I was 14 when I first experienced the touch of a man. Not a boy, but a man. A man that I resided and trusted in. A man who was supposed to protect me. A man who I called my step father. No one could’ve prepared me for the maturity...
September 18th, 2019

Raped in the Air Force

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My first duty stationed 28 years ago, i was sexually assaulted by my first supervisor and violently raped by an officer in my unit. The violence of that raped, ruined me for a long time. Suffer from severe PTSD and after 31 years i am being forced out of the...
April 27th, 2019

Everyone Else Likes You, Too

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I had never been to a bar before. Sure, I’d gone out to Applebees with other coworkers where they’d serve me drinks. But I was 19, and had to drive home. I had never been drunk before, and didn’t push my limits. I went to the bar to see him...
May 8th, 2019

Spoke out and was blamed

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I am the only girl at a job of 4 men. I am also 20 while these men are 40+. One worker would grab me from behind when I would walk in the back to the bathroom. This would happen often. One day all my coworkers had to go outside...
June 11th, 2019

Another poem about a not so perfect...

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Poem-The blade on the shelf: Plenty of times On plenty of days She does a bad thing To take it away She gets out a blade She lifts up her wrist She sets the blade down And gives it a twist She calms down As the blood grows thick It...
January 28th, 2021

Date Raped

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I was heavily love-bombed by a guy that I had met on facebook dating and we had mutual friends. We talked on the phone and face-timed for a week, each time he would call me baby or his forever etc. I had match with him a year prior so he...
June 8th, 2023

Unethical or illegal?

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Last year my partner and I worked for the same business. It was a small business near a small town and it had no management or HR of any sort – only one man owned and ran it, even though it served thousands of people each year. I hit it...
June 11th, 2020

Afraid, Ashamed and Alone

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It was a family member. I was sleeping over at their house because my mom had to get a cancerous spot removed on the back of her head. He touched me. He continued to touch me. And i just froze up. The next day, I tried to act like everything...
May 21st, 2019

raped by my own brother

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I was maybe 11 or 12 when i got raped by my brother. He would put me in his room and take off his pants and tell me to touch his penis and I was so scared i did. then he would take off my pants and touck my private...
October 9th, 2020

I was raped by my step dad

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It started in the first grade.. but i was to little to figure out what he was doing was bad to me so years past and he kept raping me sometimes it was more than one day.. and when we moved he started using it as for me to get...
December 5th, 2020

Summer 2019

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I got my first job working at a lovely Mediterranean restaurant/cafe one summer because my teacher said she knew the man who ran the place and put in a reference for me. I was 15. He was in his 60s. Two days after I started, the groping began. Only he...
May 8th, 2021

He was 28

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I met online a 27/28-year-old man. We talked online about two months and met two times. The first time we met, we went on for a long walk. I don’t remember if we talked or not. I kept a knife with me because I didn’t trust him. After the walk...
January 18th, 2021

Finally Arrested

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Lexington man charged with indecent liberties with a minor One if the men who molested me was finally arrested… I never told on him but one strong child did! Thank you child, I am sorry I didn’t report this when I should have. You are brave!
June 22nd, 2022

1 in 5

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1 in 5 Prior to joining a university campus, a serious of random webinars with quizzes about how much alcohol can affect the body and cheesy acting about doing the ‘right’ thing. It flies over most college freshman, who all have the same belief that I once had ‘that won’t...
December 13th, 2021

He was my best friend

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He was my best friend of 8 years. I was really leaning on him for support as I had just experienced my first sexual assault like 6 months beforehand. I was really struggling mentally so he offered to take me out for a night and we went into the city...
March 14th, 2015

Broken Trust

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I had a friend who I quickly became very close with. I was very depressed at the time and he was too so I spent all my time with him and went to his house everyday. However, when I started falling asleep there, he would touch me and I would...
September 17th, 2019

Multiple Date Rapes/Sexual Abuse During Teen Years...

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I am a happily married (39 years) mother of four beautiful children. My sex life has been such a struggle because of the past experiences I’ve had. The first time I was raped I was 14 or 15. My girlfriend and I met a couple of boys at the park....
June 24th, 2020

Too naïve

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I was 16. I had my first job, a lifeguard. I was so excited. I have been a swimmer since I was 5 so this was a very fitting job for me. I was the youngest person working there by far. Most of the kids were in college and one...
January 20th, 2020

School Bathroom

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I was sexually harassed for a period of two years by a group of eleven boys. The ringleader was stalking me both on and off campus as well as online. One day he followed me into a bathroom and pushed me against a wall when I turned to confront him....
April 29th, 2019

My boyfriend

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We have been together for almost 5 years and we have a little girl together. I went to bed half dressed because I was so tired but I woke to him lifting my lower body and trying to penetrate me and instinctively I laid back down but he lifted me...
June 20th, 2023

Sexual harassment

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When I was 17 years old, I used to go to my older cousin house for the summer and helped babysit her kids. Her husband who was a pastor started touching my me and would constantly tried to convince me to have an affair with him. I tried to stay...
January 2nd, 2022

I am a Survivor

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I didn’t want to be a survivor once I realized what happened. Hell, I still don’t want to be a survivor. I was seven years old when I first got raped, when something first happened to me. I didn’t understand, I was so scared. It happened by my aunt’s husband....
January 1st, 2021

raped and isolated

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The man who raped me was 30 years older than me. I was very young and lonely, didn´t have contact to my parents or true friends so he was my father figure. He raped me one night before me having my exam. He raped me again one night when I...
November 29th, 2011

Hard pregnency and delivery process after being...

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I had always wanted children…. I had always been afraid … I was afraid they will be hurt … I was afraid I would hurt them… I was afraid I will Not protect them …or ill protect them too much … I was always afraid … And then it happened…....
October 15th, 2022

Male dancer

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Hello my Name is Tj. This happen about 4 years ago I was 19 years old at very young age I always tried to see the good in people. I was always happy and felt nothing could break me down went threw cancer as a baby lost my brother and...
June 7th, 2016

Was It My Fault?

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My experience has left me confused so I would really appreciate it if someone could help me understand this. First off I was 19 when this happened & I’m 20 now. This happened back in September of 2015. I was in a sexual relationship with a Marine & I had...
April 25th, 2017

Was it rape? Or my fault?

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I am not sure if what happen is even considered rape… but I am really hoping someone can help me figure this out. It all started when I was 17 years old I was going through a break up and I was not the best version of myself. My brothers...
July 2nd, 2019

She was 5 years old

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I was four years old and was at a family reunion where I went to play with my female, five year old cousin. I knew something was wrong when she had the door locked from the outside by her brother and told me that I couldn’t tell anyone what we...
September 1st, 2019

My fiancé is my rapist but I...

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I have a past of sexual abuse but for the most part I’ve put it behind me though I get flashbacks every so often when watching a triggering show or something. My problem currently is my fiancé. This isn’t a new development in our relationship this started since we started...
August 30th, 2019

My story growing up with a secret

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I’m a black South African, I’m 40 years old now, and my son it 20 years old… loved, taught but I still can never live him alone with my nieces as I was left alone and violeted💔💔😭😭 I have spoken about this, but I hate putting this down in writting😭😭...
December 17th, 2019

dad and mom rape

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PLAYED BASEBALL FOR 3 YEARS IN FRONT OF MY HOUSE WITH MY SON, AND THIS 6TH GRADE GIRL NAMED SAM ,WAS TRYING OUT FOR THE BASEBALL TEAM AT SCHOOL .SHE LIVED 4 DOORS DOWN FROM ME .SHE STARTED TO PLAY WITH US AND GET TO KNOW REAL WELL. ONE DAY...
April 26th, 2019

A poem about a not so perfect...

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Poems about them: Mom and dad told me just how it’s done They never told me that I should run I was never told to scream or to fight They thought it was implied that it wasn’t right But I cried and I fought and I screamed and I ran...
April 1st, 2021

Sex doll

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After work one night I was drugged by a co-worker. I woke up in his bed naked. He was not in the room. I felt 2 emotions very heavily and immediately. Shame and wrong. I remember looking around for my clothes in a panic. I don’t remember how I got...
August 18th, 2019

Abusée par un voisin de mes grands...

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Bonjour chère Linor, Je suis en train de regarder Brave Miss World. Merci! Je témoigne car j’en ai peu parlé dans ma vie. J’avais 4 ou 5 ans. Je vivais avec mes grands-parents et ils me posaient parfois le samedi chez la voisine qui me gardait pour aller à un...
August 17th, 2019

My/our German “Weinstein” Case

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My name is Jany Tempel. I live both in Germany and Thailand. I turned public now, to end the big silence of our country. Almost twenty years ago I had already written a novel about my arduous life. The book wasn’t published back then, mainly because I reported on crimes...
June 2nd, 2023

He Was Saving Me From Me

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I thought I wasn’t worth it Suicide I kept escaping it Depression, the shadow i hid in Screaming:: When will this mental illness end Couldn’t find someone to truly call a friend Felt like i lost my wind I was self destructing, didn’t know what it was like to be...
July 29th, 2013

Why: A Poem About My Rape

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Soothe my whys with soft whispers Wipe my tears with your love Make me whole again No more, I beg No more No more Unwanted touch Unwelcomed Stiff, rough caresses No man to hold me down, Give me forbidden kisses Legs forced apart Like rusty hinges Hinges to a door...
March 25th, 2022

Marital Rape

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My husband raped me through the night of February 7th 2020. I was unconscious due to prescription medication taken after being in a car accident two months prior. Police arrested my husband. He posted 25k bail and got out the very next day. Bruises on my stomach and my hips....
November 2nd, 2019

Ms

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I was 21 years old. I had moved into a flat with my first boyfriend Pete and his best friend, Paul and his pregnant girlfriend Gerry. Pete and Paul were friends from being in the army together. They were both 26 years old. Paul was also my first cousin. I...
December 26th, 2019

Ms.

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I was raped by a co-worker when I was in my mid-20’s. We were at a work function, we were all drinking, then about 10 of us went to his place to continue the party. He grabbed me on my way out of the washroom and dragged me into his...
November 27th, 2014

Even Lawyers Get Raped

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It happened during a work related trip,I always liked him, but he was married so I kept it professional. We went out for drinks and dinner. I was just tipsy not drunk. He asked to come into my room to use the bathroom and he moved so fast. He was...
October 12th, 2023

Workplace Sexual Harassment

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As I write this story to you, please note that this sexual harassment case is still in progress. It began in December of 2022 when I worked as a contractor for a company named TEKsystems. I do IT work for Nutrien Ag Solutions. The first week I was there, I...
April 11th, 2020

This is my story

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When I was 12 years old, my mother’s partner at the time who I called dad who had raised me for the past 5-8 years decided he would rape me multiple times until I was 15, until I told my mother. She supported me in every way imaginable and made...
February 9th, 2021

My boss

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I’ve shared my story on here before, and something new recently happened that has been bothering me since it happened. I work at a men’s clothing store, and my boss is a man. Part of our job is measuring our costumers and I learned that in my first week. I’ve...
June 14th, 2014

Confused

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When I was 15 years old I had gotten a Facebook message from a guy telling me I was beautiful and that he wanted to take me out for coffee. After he asked me if I wanted to hang out at his place and I went. I had fount out...
July 10th, 2019

So drunk I can’t remember

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I was turning 18. I was partying like any teen would. I drank a lot. I threw up, sat down. They picked me up and put me in their car. They said “don’t worry we’ll take care of you. You won’t miss the bus”. I remember lying on the bed...
March 17th, 2023

Indigo

I returned to fine art in 1990 when I took at class in indigo dyeing at San Francisco State University. I was lucky that the instructor, Yoshiko Wada, and another student from her class, were in the East Bay so that we could carpool together. We would talk textiles on our weekly journey across the Bay Bridge to the Campus. The other student was an accomplished Quilter named Linda MacDonald. Linda lived in Willits near the famous Mendocino Art Center, but traveled to Berkeley to attend this class once a week. The Indigo vat was made in a 32-gallon garbage can and had to be kept covered between dyeing sessions. Indigo is a unique rich blue dye that develops with an oxidization process when exposed to air. Dipping the fabric several times, and allowing the natural fiber to oxidize before dipping it again, creates darker shades of blue. The dye in the vat is created from a mixture of indigo pigment, various chemicals and a reducing agent to remove oxygen from the dye. It is a rich green color while in the vat, which shows up on the fabric before it is fully exposed to the air. The smell emitted from the dye is unusual, a musky odor in my mind. I like to think that it smells like the color blue. The vat needs to be carefully stirred and maintained between dyeing sessions. There is a “bloom” on the top of the vat created by oxidized indigo, making a bubbly and shiny ball of material reminiscent of a flower. The “bloom” gets moved to the side before entry of the pre-wetted fabric. The process reminds me of baking bread or making yogurt where the steps need to be carefully followed to achieve the desired results. In the process of bread and yogurt making, there are living cultures involved in order to create the product, and with the creation and dyeing process of indigo, it has that same feeling of being alive. In order to create interesting patterns, my classmates and I would use resist techniques on the fabric like pastes, stitching and clamping. Simple household items like clothespins could be used to create patterns by folding and then placing the pins at intervals along the fold lines. Beautiful and surprising results were achieved using these methods. Image of Indigo dye on fabric during the oxidization process. My dream of being a professional artist, all started in early childhood, and the first memories of my creations go back to Nursery School. I loved playing with all kinds of materials, like paint, clay, and crayons, just to name a few examples. Mel (Melanie), painting at Jack and Jill Nursery School, Walnut Creek, California, 1960. In 1974, a neighbor in Marin where I was living at the time and studying art at College of Marin told me about an Art School in Mexico. I ended up sending off slides of my work with an application to the Instituto Allende, and was delighted to hear that I was accepted. I began my journey to study there in San Miguel de Allende by flying to Mexico City in January of 1975. A bus ride completed that journey. When I first arrived, I moved in with a family who had two small children, including a newborn. It seemed like a safe living situation for a 19-year-old woman, but that shortly proved to not be true when the husband started coming on to me. I ended up finding my own place on the other side of town. It was a spacious abode with a wall that was shared with a weaving factory next door. There were 2 adjoined bedrooms, a bathroom, a large living/kitchen area and a small concrete patio out the back door. There was no hot water, refrigerator or a telephone. When I needed hot water for dishes, I would boil some on the stove. For showers, I had to build a fire in a box below a water tank outside to get hot water. I felt much more secure living there and walking a further distance to the Instituto on the other side of town than living with the husband who had made me feel so unsafe. There was the Central Plaza, which was called the “Jardin” that was in the middle of town, and I would pass through it on my walk quite frequently. This was the site of fireworks and festivals, like the celebration of Cinco de Mayo. The streets were cobblestone and many charming shops and galleries were located downtown. The School itself was on a beautiful campus with large ornate doors in front that were closed when school was not in session. Photo of the closed front doors of the Instituto Allende I had heard about you and what you had done to other women before you appeared in my main living space one sunny spring afternoon pointing a gun at me. You had a bandana wrapped around your face and tied behind your head. I had heard you first, in the bathroom. Dressed in a long polyester dress with colorful psychedelic patterns. I wasn’t wearing any underwear or shoes. I walked through the 2 bedrooms and turned left when I saw you standing there. I screamed and shouted, “help me,” thinking that workers at the Weaving Factory would hear me and come rescue me. Nobody came. You said to me “Coyote” which I later learned meant to be quiet or to shut up. You grabbed my shoulders and dragged me out the unlocked back door onto the concrete patio. The tops of my feet got scraped. I gave up. I knew you were going to rape me. I just wanted you to finish as quickly as possible. You took off your belt and put down your gun. Somehow I managed to pick up your gun and threw it over the wall embedded with glass on the top, into the alleyway. The same wall you had climbed over to get into my place through the unlocked back door. Towards the end of this ordeal, I heard a knock on my door. You left, climbing back over the wall. I answered the door. My friend Rhonda had come by to visit me. I told her what had happened and we walked to the Police Station nearby. I had your belt with me. The one you left behind. I went to the front counter, telling the officers behind the counter what had happened to me. They were laughing and playing cards at the time. I showed them your belt. They told me to bring you in if I saw you again. I left with Rhonda and took a bath at the where place she lived. We didn’t talk about what happened. We moved in together shortly after that. I sent a telegram to my father and stepmother about what had happened to me. Nobody came to help me. Rhonda helped me when I got hepatitis A and could no longer go to school. I was on my own when it came to figuring out how to return to the Bay Area. I moved in with my father and stepmother. They didn’t talk to me about what happened to me. They sent me to a doctor who diagnosed me with type 1 diabetes. He showed me how to give myself insulin injections. He told me to practice by injecting oranges with empty syringes. My mother told me years later that “You were never the same again” after what you did to me. I survived. I gave up art for 15 years before realizing that I wanted to go back to art school. In those years, I became so disturbed that I had panic attacks, deep depression and needed to move in with my mother at age 30. I started therapy after becoming self destructive in my 20’s. Depression also called “the blues” has been my long time companion. It has taken me a lifetime to heal. My iPhone predicts the words, depression, PTSD and C-PTSD for my text messages. After my Indigo dyeing class at San Francisco State, I enrolled in the Textiles Fine Art program at California College of Arts and Crafts (now known as California College of the Arts) in Oakland. I was married at the time and had become pregnant with our daughter Emily right before classes started in September. Emily was born on May 13, 1991. By the Fall of 1992, I was a single mom and an art student. An inheritance from my mother who died in 1995, allowed me to graduate and to buy my first home. I continued to work with indigo dyeing and created a large textile piece about my experience in Mexico. After many years of therapy and other healing modalities, I recently started painting on canvas. Part of that process has been a Soul Retrieval session to bring back my 4 year old self who loved to paint. I am feeling uplifted and encouraged after many years of recurring periods of severe emotional pain. Stay tuned for more details about my new work. One of my final pieces was a textile called “Out of the Blues.”
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I returned to fine art in 1990 when I took at class in indigo dyeing at San Francisco State University. I was lucky that the instructor, Yoshiko Wada, and another student from her class, were in the East Bay so that we could carpool together. We would talk textiles on...
April 21st, 2021

A respectable collegue

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The next day I walked down the stairs to the hotel, aware that he was sitting at the table having breakfast. Some things you think would never happen to you, you think that working externally with a colleague (married and with children) is not dangerous. But then in a moment...
February 16th, 2020

My first love

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I was 13 and we went to the same high school. I didn’t know him but we both took part in drama. He was a year and a half older and we met at a school trip to a theatre one evening. He was a ‘bad boy’ causing trouble but...