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Permanently Scarred

We used to live together and he sexually abused me from the time I was 6 until I was 10. He would make me watch porn with him then he would touch me down there, soon that escalated to him forcing me to touch him and have oral sex with him. I never told what was happening. I was 6. I didn’t even know what was happening just that I felt weird but he was family. Thankfully I moved back with my parents. I blocked it out I guess up until I was 13. I saw him again and he started asking do I remember what he was doing to me and if I liked it. I started having these nightmares about what he did andI remembered bits and pieces of what he did. Every time after I saw him he’d taunt me making my family believe he was a good person so they kept him around. Two years later he moves in down the street from me and made it seem like it was a “coincidence”. He raped me when I was 15. He told my mom he got in a fight with his sister and he needed somewhere to stay. That night he came into my room and raped me. I couldn’t fight. I couldn’t scream. He pinned me down and covered my mouth. He said he’d kill me if I didn’t let him do it. That night he took everything from me, I went into a deep depression and I I started cutting and doing drugs. Finally I told my friend but she said I was lying and that I was trying to cover up loosing my virginity so she told everyone and people started calling me a lying slut and saying I was just ashamed my first time was bad so I lie about being raped. I’m 16 now and I’ve never told anyone since, I’ve tried to commit suicide twice but nobody seemed to care. Everyday is a constant struggle but I’m slowly getting through it.

– Neveah, age 16

2 comments

  • Maryrose
  • Alissa Ackerman

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