It was 1:00 in the morning I snuck out to meet a boy they meet at the skatepark I got in his car an he drove us back to his house. He took me to the bathroom. He started to get undressed an than he took my clothes off an than walked us to the bedroom. He pushed me on the bed an got on top of me. I cried an begged him to stop he held me down an kept telling me to shut up he than covered my mouth. The physically pain really hurt but the emotional pain was the worst part. After he finished, I called my Ex and had him come get me we went to his house. He let me stay the night we ended up getting back together an the next day. He had to go to school so I stayed with one of his friends. When he got home I saw that he was cheating on me with another girl so I left and went to a different friends house. I ended up getting really drunk trying to forget about him and the rape. Then this 23 year old grabbed me an took me into the bedroom I was so drunk that I only remember parts of what happened. I remember him holding me down. I remember trying to push him off an than the rest is just a blur. I still have nightmares about getting raped I still see them doing it to me. I have tried killing myself so many times just to try and end the pain. The dreams seem so really that it scares me to go to sleep. I feel like it is my fault like I deserved it If I wouldn’t have snuck out none of this would have happened. I cry myself to sleep most of the time. I wish my parents knew how much it kills me and how much I’m hurting. I feel all alone I am so broken.
— Kendra Schaar-Harp, age 15