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Rape at 15

I was raped back in 2007 on Halloween. Since that day I’m scared of Halloween and I don’t wanna dress up or celebrate. It was my favorite holiday until I was 15.

I was raped by 2 boys who were my age in an alley, which to this day makes me feel disgusting. They asked me to hang out and I thought they were my friends. I was young and naive back then, and they lend me to a gang way and sexually assaulted me. I remember just going completely numb and I couldn’t scream.

Afterwards all they said to me “nice working with you”. I had lost my virginity to people who didn’t give a damn how I felt and my self esteem for many years was super super low. I used sex cause I thought I was worthless. Growing up I was nice Jewish girl, but the rape turned me in to monster. After reporting it, everyone made me feel disgusting even my own family.

At 19, I met a guy who I thought liked me or maybe even loved me and I had a child with him but he went jail and didn’t even talk to me till I was 7-8 months pregnant. I gave birth in February 2012 and he died on may 2,2012 from SIDS. I felt like I was going through my rape all over again for almost 3 years, but I’ve seen your movie on Netflix about a week ago and knowing your Jewish just like me Linor. I didn’t feel so alone like you it made me want express Judaism even more because all the trauma I’ve been through. I want thank you for sharing your story. Your beautiful soul that maybe 1 day that I hope I can meet <3

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