I wasn’t high, I wasn’t drunk, I wasn’t under the influence of any drugs. But I was raped. I was forced to have sex with a man I knew my whole life. A man I thought was my second dad. When I went for help I couldn’t get it. I have no insurance I don’t make enough the job I have doesn’t give insurance to people who’ve only worked there less than a year. I don’t live with my parents. When I went to the police I was told they would look into it. Instead of looking into my rapist they looked into me. They saw the drinking and the partying they said no jury would fully take my side. I wasn’t a trustworthy victim. They didn’t see the girl drowning in her own feelings. They didn’t know what I was going through the last month they didn’t know the only time I ever feel happy and normal is when I’m drinking or when Id smoke because I couldn’t afford medicine or professional help. The y didn’t see the nights I woke up in terror sweating and hoping that when I finally went back to bed I wouldn’t wake up in the morning, because not waking up was way better than living my nightmare on the daily. Because now every thanksgiving, Easter, Christmas I will sit across the table from my rapist. Everyday I will go through life hoping that it would be my last. All because I’m not a trustworthy victim. It doesn’t matter that there was physical evidence and plenty of people to take my side. I was just a another crazy 18 yr old that nobody wanted to help. But God bless America where rapists and killers are set free because the victim isn’t trustworthy.
— Survivor, age 18