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She wanted me to prove I loved her.

I was assaulted almost a year ago to this date, and no one believes me.

My partner at the time, a girl that had been my friend for four years before asking me to be in a relationship with her, was extremely manipulative.

She made me hate myself, made me believe I was nothing without her and that if I wasn’t pleasing her I was doing nothing of worth.

She wanted sex- I hated it. I’d been sexually abused before, as a child, and it makes me sick to entertain the idea of having sex with anyone.

But regardless, she wanted sex. She groomed me to please her, demanded that I either had sex with her or she’d leave me. She was the only person I had. I couldn’t survive if she left me.

There was no violent force. I was not restrained. I didn’t cry.

But the entire time I told myself I didn’t want it, I told her I was uncomfortable, it didn’t feel good, I wanted to stop.

She didn’t listen, she didn’t have to. She knew I’d keep going no matter what.

I wish I could stop myself, but I needed her.

— Survivor, age 15

1 comment

  • Alexis

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