I grew up with my grandma and visiting my granddad every second weekend. Wasn’t exactly the normal growing up. When I was 13 years old I moved in with my Uncle and Aunty. They had 3 other children. His name was Chris and hers Karen. Chris told me he wanted to give me a normal childhood and a mum and a dad like a always wanted. I believed him. For the first year everything was okay. Then things started to go south. Chris lost his job, I was struggling mentally with a lot of issues from when I was younger. Chris prayed on my venerability. I wanted to feel loved and have a mum and a dad. I started calling them mum and dad. When I turned 14 years old, Chris starting raping me. Sometimes a few times a day. This went on for 5 years. No one knew. He had an emotional and physical hold over me. I was so scared of him. He physically abused me, mentally abused me. Had me put on medication, I was so out of it. I was on 40mg a day of Prozac. It made me very depressed and often suicidal. From the age of 15 I supported the family financially. Left school and did an apprenticeship. All my money went to support the family whilst this was going on. Just before my 18th birthday, my boss sat my down and asked if chris was having sex with me. I just cried. I had been keeping this a secret for 5 years. I couldn’t do it anymore. But what I didn’t realize was the real pain was still to come. When I came out, a lot of people didn’t believe me and disowned me. I lost everything. I lost a baby at 16 and I felt like I had nothing left. Than august last year Chris dropped dead. I couldn’t believe it. I lost all control. I had fallen in love with my abuser. It is called stockholm syndrome. I tried to commit suicide and was put in a psychiatric ward. Every day I deal with this pain and I’m not sure if I will ever get over it. If I can ever trust again. I have been seeing a psychologist for 6 years now. Most times when I go I just cry. I just hold on to that little bit of hope and it is what gets me through.
— Survivor, age 19