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Where did I go?

I have waited all my life to be able to tell this to someone I can trust, someone who will not judge me, but most importantly after hearing Linor Abargil and Cecelia Peck I am convinced that our stories may perhaps save others from being traumatized years after our rape. My hope is that by telling our stories, others will go on to live their lives without shame thinking that they are not worthy of a loving relationship. I was 15 years old, violently raped repeatedly for months by two cousins and they were brothers. I feared for my life. My life until that time was full of hopes and dreams and a boy crush who respected me. When my cousins robbed me of my innocence I began to feel dirty and ashamed which caused me to turn my back on my teen crush and I lost interest in all things scholastic. In the years following I would settle for men that were wolves, and became submissive. Now, 52 years later and two failed marriages, I am brought to tears, because after hearing you speak, I am realizing that I feared intimacy stemming from those rapes which also led to self-esteem/weight issues. Now, today, this minute I think of how my life could have been different had there been someone like you women to confide in, to tell my situation to, who could have guided me through the trauma, fear, rejections and humiliation I felt back then and throughout most of my life.

2 comments

  • James
  • Cecilia

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