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you do what you gotta

I was homeless for a while. i was wit a boyfriend and we were suppose to get married, but never got to it. he found a new girlfriend and wanted me out. being he was the only one on the lease i didn’t have a choice.
I was worked at a mail fulfillment warehouse, you know you pay shipping and handling, well they are the handling. they changed contracts and layed off half, and i was in that half.
i had to survive jobless and homeless. i went through savings in days and ate what i found in trash or left on tables.
the day i met him, i was at the Chester buss terminal begging for money. i was having a good day, when a cop threatened to take me in for panhandling. while he argued wit me, a man offered to take me to lunch. this was an offer i couldn’t refuse.
we talked about my life, and he offered to help me out wit dinner and a place to stay and if you every lived on the street Mama saying don’t talk to strangers means nothing.

Joe took me to his place and i could use the bathroom and shower plus wash my clothes. he let me raid the fridge and we ordered pizza, and we watched TV. he set me up in his couch. i might be poor but i don’t steal from someone helped me!

no one does nothing for nothing.
by the next night, he wanted rent, and expected me to spread for it. you don’t have a lot of pride when you have nowhere to go.
i lied there like a blow up doll and let him do all the work even his spit. he refused to get a condom and it was nothing to me.
i had a place and food for the night.
this became the norm, and i had food and shelter for it.
I didn’t expect that was my living rather than college.

he had me as his entertainment for over 3 years where i had to do whatever act he wished when he did. one day he took a friend from work home and paraded me out for him to check out front and back. Joe told me to take my dress off and we had sex for his friend. he had me finish his jacking myself and let his friend go home. Joe never introduced him even.

you put up with a lot until you hit that point. that point was when Joe came in my room and said he lost a lot at poker night and he promised id pay it off. i could not imagine how with little money put away. he let the 6 men from his card game in my room. i could accept what they wanted or they would take it anyways!
it was after dawn before they went away.

it was only a couple of months after that that i started getting sick. yes, after going to the free clinic, it was morning sickness. i never said it to Joe, but i had to go.

I packed my things while Joe was at work and left for the bus. i went away from my hometown and him. and went to get public assistance and all. i had already decided but i gave the boy up for a better life.

people say you do what you have to, but ill say to avoid what you have to.
Bless you.

— Angie, age 21

2 comments

  • sharon
  • Alexis

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