My boyfriend suggested I have sex with someone that wasn’t him because he was my first. He fought with me for months about it; I finally gave in. It was planned I walked to his friends house shaking from terror, what the hell was I going to do to get out of doing it. We watched a couple of movies and when the last was overlaid down. I tried to ignore him but things got heated and I had a seizure (I later discovered it was cause by a panic attack) he pestered me for more and I gave in but I started saying no and he ignored me. Later in the night he woke me up twice for more and I never really woke up for those. I have pseudoseizures now and am terrified of ever seeing him again. He used to be my best friend…
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Thank you so much for sharing your story here. No always means no and that he didn’t listen to you is NOT your fault; none of what happened is. I would encourage you to seek out a therapist or a counselor who can help you work through all of the emotions associated with your experience. You are worthy of healing and love and someone with training can help you work through all of what you’re going through. I am proud of you for sharing your story and I know you can heal and grow and thrive. Love, Alexis