He was my best friend. He had loved me for years. I trusted him.
I was 18. We had just graduated high school. I went out drinking with some friends and he offered to be our designated driver. Later that night, when I got sick he offered to take care of me and help me get to bed. No one blinked an eye. Why would they? Why would someone who loved me the way he did ever take advantage?
I remember lying in bed. I was cold and shivering. So he held me. I can’t remember how it started, but he kissed me. I shied away and said no. He kissed me again and I told him I didn’t want to and that I loved my partner (currently out of town).
I was cold. He rubbed his hands all over my body. They were warm and it felt nice. He kissed me again. I felt bad. I just wanted him to be happy. He loved me and he said he had wanted this for a long time. I remember feeling like I owed him. He asked again and I said “ok”.
He was inside me. I kept thinking it will be over soon and then he will be happy. He turned me over. While my face was in the pillow I thought, how did I get here? Why was I letting this happen?
He finished on my back.
I don’t remember what happened next. I felt like a terrible person. It was all my fault. Right? I could have kept saying no. Instead, I said “ok”. That is consent, right?
— Survivor, age 25