In January 2004 I went with my class and other classes of my former school to France for a school trip. We went by bus. It was an ten hour over night drive from Holland without sleep. When we arrived we where all divided by four to share apartments. Later that day we went out to get our skies and other necessary things. The evening was free and my former best friend was willing to spent it in another apartment of our male classmates who where giving a party. I decided to join her. Not even for myself because I was tired. I decided to go for her in case something would happened she won’t be alone. When we arrived at the apartment there was a lot of alcohol, music and just a few people. I accepted a drink(I normally don’t drink alcohol) and my former best friend went in a bedroom with her former boyfriend. I decided to wait for her. After a while I started to feel weird. I had no control over my body anymore. Before I actually could understand what was happening my classmate was touching me all over. In my head I knew I did not want him to touch me, but I had no longer control over my body. I remember a big part of it, but I could not do anything. He stole my virginity when I was 18 and even now 12 years later I am still to afraid to have sexual contact with men, I never had before and after it happened. Later I found out he drugged me with the rape drug GHB. I never told my parents but I went to the police. They could not help me because back then he was signed in under a false name at school. 8 years later we where standing face to face at my current job at a tax office. I Walker away and went to the police. They could not help me since my case was expired. Can anybody give me advice how to become myself again and start a life after all those years?