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I was kidnapped, beaten, knocked out and repeatedly, brutally violated by my ex

He was convicted dec 2018 and is due to be sentenced in the 22nd of January 2019.
I keep being told I’m brave. I don’t feel brave. I feel angry and helpless. He told everybody that I made it up so I have been harassed by scumbags I barely know. It is extremely hard to get a rape conviction in NZ due to our “innocent until proven guilty” bullshit which only helps the guilty. Statistics are 1 in a hundred convictions. So I’m supposed to be grateful. He won’t get anywhere near 60 years for brutalising me for hours. He might get 10 years, even though he committed perjury and not one of the 7 female and 5 male jury members believed his outlandish and disgusting claims such as that I demanded that he rape me. My dressing gown had blood splattered all over it but he called it “consensual sex”. Unfortunately there are women who are loose and scream rape every time they have sex. I was celibate for 3 years before I was violated. I started counselling after the verdict. I didn’t seek counselling prior to that because I was afraid of being “fixed” only to be broken again at trial. This is pretty new because this is the first time I have been beaten and raped by someone i still loved. How has 20 years affected you? I sometimes feel like I’m going to explode, hence the counselling. If I had a choice I would want his penis chopped off and shoved up his arse and to have him beaten and raped every day in prison. I don’t like feeling like this. I’m a grandmother so I’m just grateful I wasn’t a 15 year old virgin.

— Lynne, age 58


  • Slim Shady
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