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March 17th, 2023

Indigo

I returned to fine art in 1990 when I took at class in indigo dyeing at San Francisco State University. I was lucky that the instructor, Yoshiko Wada, and another student from her class, were in the East Bay so that we could carpool together. We would talk textiles on our weekly journey across the Bay Bridge to the Campus. The other student was an accomplished Quilter named Linda MacDonald. Linda lived in Willits near the famous Mendocino Art Center, but traveled to Berkeley to attend this class once a week. The Indigo vat was made in a 32-gallon garbage can and had to be kept covered between dyeing sessions. Indigo is a unique rich blue dye that develops with an oxidization process when exposed to air. Dipping the fabric several times, and allowing the natural fiber to oxidize before dipping it again, creates darker shades of blue. The dye in the vat is created from a mixture of indigo pigment, various chemicals and a reducing agent to remove oxygen from the dye. It is a rich green color while in the vat, which shows up on the fabric before it is fully exposed to the air. The smell emitted from the dye is unusual, a musky odor in my mind. I like to think that it smells like the color blue. The vat needs to be carefully stirred and maintained between dyeing sessions. There is a “bloom” on the top of the vat created by oxidized indigo, making a bubbly and shiny ball of material reminiscent of a flower. The “bloom” gets moved to the side before entry of the pre-wetted fabric. The process reminds me of baking bread or making yogurt where the steps need to be carefully followed to achieve the desired results. In the process of bread and yogurt making, there are living cultures involved in order to create the product, and with the creation and dyeing process of indigo, it has that same feeling of being alive. In order to create interesting patterns, my classmates and I would use resist techniques on the fabric like pastes, stitching and clamping. Simple household items like clothespins could be used to create patterns by folding and then placing the pins at intervals along the fold lines. Beautiful and surprising results were achieved using these methods. Image of Indigo dye on fabric during the oxidization process. My dream of being a professional artist, all started in early childhood, and the first memories of my creations go back to Nursery School. I loved playing with all kinds of materials, like paint, clay, and crayons, just to name a few examples. Mel (Melanie), painting at Jack and Jill Nursery School, Walnut Creek, California, 1960. In 1974, a neighbor in Marin where I was living at the time and studying art at College of Marin told me about an Art School in Mexico. I ended up sending off slides of my work with an application to the Instituto Allende, and was delighted to hear that I was accepted. I began my journey to study there in San Miguel de Allende by flying to Mexico City in January of 1975. A bus ride completed that journey. When I first arrived, I moved in with a family who had two small children, including a newborn. It seemed like a safe living situation for a 19-year-old woman, but that shortly proved to not be true when the husband started coming on to me. I ended up finding my own place on the other side of town. It was a spacious abode with a wall that was shared with a weaving factory next door. There were 2 adjoined bedrooms, a bathroom, a large living/kitchen area and a small concrete patio out the back door. There was no hot water, refrigerator or a telephone. When I needed hot water for dishes, I would boil some on the stove. For showers, I had to build a fire in a box below a water tank outside to get hot water. I felt much more secure living there and walking a further distance to the Instituto on the other side of town than living with the husband who had made me feel so unsafe. There was the Central Plaza, which was called the “Jardin” that was in the middle of town, and I would pass through it on my walk quite frequently. This was the site of fireworks and festivals, like the celebration of Cinco de Mayo. The streets were cobblestone and many charming shops and galleries were located downtown. The School itself was on a beautiful campus with large ornate doors in front that were closed when school was not in session. Photo of the closed front doors of the Instituto Allende I had heard about you and what you had done to other women before you appeared in my main living space one sunny spring afternoon pointing a gun at me. You had a bandana wrapped around your face and tied behind your head. I had heard you first, in the bathroom. Dressed in a long polyester dress with colorful psychedelic patterns. I wasn’t wearing any underwear or shoes. I walked through the 2 bedrooms and turned left when I saw you standing there. I screamed and shouted, “help me,” thinking that workers at the Weaving Factory would hear me and come rescue me. Nobody came. You said to me “Coyote” which I later learned meant to be quiet or to shut up. You grabbed my shoulders and dragged me out the unlocked back door onto the concrete patio. The tops of my feet got scraped. I gave up. I knew you were going to rape me. I just wanted you to finish as quickly as possible. You took off your belt and put down your gun. Somehow I managed to pick up your gun and threw it over the wall embedded with glass on the top, into the alleyway. The same wall you had climbed over to get into my place through the unlocked back door. Towards the end of this ordeal, I heard a knock on my door. You left, climbing back over the wall. I answered the door. My friend Rhonda had come by to visit me. I told her what had happened and we walked to the Police Station nearby. I had your belt with me. The one you left behind. I went to the front counter, telling the officers behind the counter what had happened to me. They were laughing and playing cards at the time. I showed them your belt. They told me to bring you in if I saw you again. I left with Rhonda and took a bath at the where place she lived. We didn’t talk about what happened. We moved in together shortly after that. I sent a telegram to my father and stepmother about what had happened to me. Nobody came to help me. Rhonda helped me when I got hepatitis A and could no longer go to school. I was on my own when it came to figuring out how to return to the Bay Area. I moved in with my father and stepmother. They didn’t talk to me about what happened to me. They sent me to a doctor who diagnosed me with type 1 diabetes. He showed me how to give myself insulin injections. He told me to practice by injecting oranges with empty syringes. My mother told me years later that “You were never the same again” after what you did to me. I survived. I gave up art for 15 years before realizing that I wanted to go back to art school. In those years, I became so disturbed that I had panic attacks, deep depression and needed to move in with my mother at age 30. I started therapy after becoming self destructive in my 20’s. Depression also called “the blues” has been my long time companion. It has taken me a lifetime to heal. My iPhone predicts the words, depression, PTSD and C-PTSD for my text messages. After my Indigo dyeing class at San Francisco State, I enrolled in the Textiles Fine Art program at California College of Arts and Crafts (now known as California College of the Arts) in Oakland. I was married at the time and had become pregnant with our daughter Emily right before classes started in September. Emily was born on May 13, 1991. By the Fall of 1992, I was a single mom and an art student. An inheritance from my mother who died in 1995, allowed me to graduate and to buy my first home. I continued to work with indigo dyeing and created a large textile piece about my experience in Mexico. After many years of therapy and other healing modalities, I recently started painting on canvas. Part of that process has been a Soul Retrieval session to bring back my 4 year old self who loved to paint. I am feeling uplifted and encouraged after many years of recurring periods of severe emotional pain. Stay tuned for more details about my new work. One of my final pieces was a textile called “Out of the Blues.”
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I returned to fine art in 1990 when I took at class in indigo dyeing at San Francisco State University. I was lucky that the instructor, Yoshiko Wada, and another student from her class, were in the East Bay so that we could carpool together. We would talk textiles on...
April 1st, 2021

Sex doll

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After work one night I was drugged by a co-worker. I woke up in his bed naked. He was not in the room. I felt 2 emotions very heavily and immediately. Shame and wrong. I remember looking around for my clothes in a panic. I don’t remember how I got...
March 18th, 2015

The Stepmonster

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I was only eight when it originally started. My stepdad would touch me in my crotch and chest area. He would only do it with my mom at work. He would even do it in front of my little sister, but he never did it in front of his son....
January 29th, 2022

My stepfather raped me

1
When I was 11 years old my parents were divorced and my mother moved myself and my brother to her hometown which was 18 miles away. It wasn’t long before my mom had a new boyfriend she moved in and married. He wasn’t a stranger, he and his wife had...
August 30th, 2019

My story growing up with a secret

2
I’m a black South African, I’m 40 years old now, and my son it 20 years old… loved, taught but I still can never live him alone with my nieces as I was left alone and violeted💔💔😭😭 I have spoken about this, but I hate putting this down in writting😭😭...
September 18th, 2019

Raped in the Air Force

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My first duty stationed 28 years ago, i was sexually assaulted by my first supervisor and violently raped by an officer in my unit. The violence of that raped, ruined me for a long time. Suffer from severe PTSD and after 31 years i am being forced out of the...
August 10th, 2022

1
I was 15. I went to stay the weekend with a friend a town over. She bought me to a friends house and they were two older boys; not much older a few years. The place was a really old one bedroom trailer not very big at all. A small...
July 14th, 2020

Raped in a Psychiatric Hospital in the...

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I apologize for not being able to share my name at this stage- my case is still under investigation, and I do not wish to jeopardize this. The shroud of silence is quadrupled when one is mentally ill and the perpetrator is someone who is meant to be a healer....
March 12th, 2022

Ex

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On February 24th 2021 by boyfriend (ex now) raped me in my home. I was black out drunk and unable to consent, and he crossed boundaries we had set sober. He lives less than a minute from me, and never faced charges because of lack of physical evidence. The detective...
December 23rd, 2022

When school isn’t safe. (Australia)

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I was in year 9. I endured over 6 months of sexual harassment, intimidation and violence every day during school times. The teachers were aware of this, but their only concern was the length of my skirt. Whether I was “asking for it”. Being “overdramatic”. The boys who did it...
November 15th, 2020

J’avais 13 ans

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J’avais 13 ans j’étais allé avec mon amie chez un gars pour la soirée ils étaient trois gars et c’etait la première fois que je buvais de l’alcool et ce gars qui s’appelle pascal m’a agressé. Je ne l’ai dis a personne et j’ai fait comme si rien ne s’était...
June 28th, 2021

Boy scout of america

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No one ever told me what to expect once I finally said something that I remembered from over 50 yrs ago. talking about it could bring on some emotion that would possibly need a professional counselor or psychologist to help me with emotion .I didn’t think I needed help with...
November 12th, 2019

3 incidents

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I still don’t know whether I can consider what I experienced rape, but I’m using my therapists help to get a grip of my time traveling through NZ, meeting plenty of men, some of whom have changed things forever. First one was in a dorm I spent my first night...
August 26th, 2020

Stranger, Friend, Lawyer, and Youth Leader

3
People have accused me of being a liar and the one with whom the fault lies… repeatedly. They use statistics to give themselves a platform to shame me or to feel better about their lives, because they don’t want to face reality. The reality is that statistics are not always...
August 17th, 2019

My/our German “Weinstein” Case

6
My name is Jany Tempel. I live both in Germany and Thailand. I turned public now, to end the big silence of our country. Almost twenty years ago I had already written a novel about my arduous life. The book wasn’t published back then, mainly because I reported on crimes...
April 23rd, 2023

a shattered girl and her dreams restored

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My name is Abby and I want to share my story with you because I want to be who I needed when I was there…as a million shattered pieces on the ground. I was raped at age 15 by someone I barely knew. For a few years though, I didn’t...
March 5th, 2021

7 years and it still controls me

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I seen him today. The exe who thought he had the right to just take what he wanted. It’s like you need you moved on. That your okay. Then ask if takes is to see him and can’t breathe. I froze. I just turned around and wanted to run. I...
December 2nd, 2020

Mrs

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I think I may have been raped, nearly 20 years ago. I was staying at my boyfriends house (now ex) at the time. We were young (17) and I was a virgin as we’d decided to wait to progress our relationship. One night I stayed over at his parents house,...
July 8th, 2021

Dad Raped Me

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1) this man “casually” crossed my boundaries. When I told him to stop, he did, but throughout the encounter he continued to ask me if I would like it if he did the thing that I told him explicitly he could not do. I never mentioned this interaction being poor...
December 26th, 2019

Ms.

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I was raped by a co-worker when I was in my mid-20’s. We were at a work function, we were all drinking, then about 10 of us went to his place to continue the party. He grabbed me on my way out of the washroom and dragged me into his...
September 13th, 2019

He was right

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I was dating this older man for about over 3 months and I was very happy with this person and we made so much happy memories in such a short time but long story short it just did not work out. He did not want to break up but I...
June 5th, 2019

Christianity teaches men to treat women like...

3
I was born into a Christian household, 12 siblings, my mum was pregnant with twins,when I was 19, the guy I started dating (courting) was perfect in the eyes of my father, he has 8 siblings and both attended the same Christian church. We married after 3 months, on our...
June 20th, 2021

Your truth will change someones’ life.

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Brave Miss World is the first time I knew someone understands the gravity and the depth of what sexual violence does to the souls of the victims but their families. The battle to reclaim my soul’s back is the hardest work I will ever face. The internal growth is where...
June 3rd, 2019

I was used. I got left. I...

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15. That’s how old I was. 15. I thought my life was great. I had just got my permit and was loving my life. 15. I got used and then left. During this, I got strong. I have known this guy since I was in sixth grade. We used to...
April 25th, 2018

Just Playing

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My brother and I got into some basic games of “Doctor”. Nothing starting out as abuse, just a lot of looking, and a little touching. One afternoon he inserted a finger, and I got a little blood. I went and told an adult, as I was supposed to, and because...
September 19th, 2020

Pain

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I spend the whole night reading stories from all of these brave survivors .I decide to write mine so that I can give courage even to just one person .I was 17 when he touched me and pushed an object into me through my clothing .Since then I suffer through...
April 18th, 2019

My husband raped me when I took...

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I just want him to be sorry and get help.
December 23rd, 2019

I’m Finally Moving On

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Growing up was hard. My childhood was traumatic. Life wasn’t great. But, here I am, moving on. From as far back as I can remember, I hated my life. I was never close to anyone in my family, not in the way family should be. I didn’t feel as if...
October 4th, 2020

Pastor’s Son

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He was a pastor’s son named after an important figure in the bible. A regular church attendee who made his love for Jesus well known. But now he is a painful memory. It was my first semester at Angelo State University. I was lonely. Luckily I met great people who...
July 23rd, 2019

I’m finally letting my hurt out

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I’m calling names because I am being honest. I worked at a Jamaican restaurant called “golden Krust” on Jamaica and sutphin Avenue in jamaica queens. That’s where I experienced my two sexual assaults. First one was by the chefs assistant named Titus it was morning shift and I went downstairs...
December 5th, 2020

Summer 2019

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I got my first job working at a lovely Mediterranean restaurant/cafe one summer because my teacher said she knew the man who ran the place and put in a reference for me. I was 15. He was in his 60s. Two days after I started, the groping began. Only he...
April 27th, 2019

Everyone Else Likes You, Too

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I had never been to a bar before. Sure, I’d gone out to Applebees with other coworkers where they’d serve me drinks. But I was 19, and had to drive home. I had never been drunk before, and didn’t push my limits. I went to the bar to see him...
June 24th, 2020

Too naïve

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I was 16. I had my first job, a lifeguard. I was so excited. I have been a swimmer since I was 5 so this was a very fitting job for me. I was the youngest person working there by far. Most of the kids were in college and one...
May 31st, 2019

I Recorded my Rapist

3
I was gang raped almost 30 years ago by my ex boyfriend and at least 3 of his friends, 2 of which I never spoke to. I never spoke of what they did to me until the Supreme Court event, which more than triggered something inside me. I had been...
February 4th, 2021

Raped at the Air Force Academy

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In 2002 I was appointed to the Air Force Academy Preparatory School in Colorado Springs, CO. The prep school was a sort of booster school for people who wanted to be at the Academy but fell short of their appointment. It could have been due to grades, SAT/ACT scores, athletics,...
July 24th, 2019

LOST

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When I was 5 years old, I was sexually assaulted by many men. The next day I tried to kill myself. At the age of 10, I was raped and again tried to end it by ending my life. I also am a survivor of FASD and there for not...
April 21st, 2021

A respectable collegue

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The next day I walked down the stairs to the hotel, aware that he was sitting at the table having breakfast. Some things you think would never happen to you, you think that working externally with a colleague (married and with children) is not dangerous. But then in a moment...
August 6th, 2020

I regret not telling

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When I was in high school, I dated someone briefly. He never told anyone about me to his family or friends. I ended things after a month or two, because he was really into kissing and wanted to do more than that. I didn’t want that though as I was...
August 17th, 2019

My/our German “Weinstein” Case

6
My name is Jany Tempel. I live both in Germany and Thailand. I turned public now, to end the big silence of our country. Almost twenty years ago I had already written a novel about my arduous life. The book wasn’t published back then, mainly because I reported on crimes...
July 10th, 2019

So drunk I can’t remember

4
I was turning 18. I was partying like any teen would. I drank a lot. I threw up, sat down. They picked me up and put me in their car. They said “don’t worry we’ll take care of you. You won’t miss the bus”. I remember lying on the bed...
June 5th, 2019

Christianity teaches men to treat women like...

3
I was born into a Christian household, 12 siblings, my mum was pregnant with twins,when I was 19, the guy I started dating (courting) was perfect in the eyes of my father, he has 8 siblings and both attended the same Christian church. We married after 3 months, on our...
June 20th, 2023

Sexual harassment

1
When I was 17 years old, I used to go to my older cousin house for the summer and helped babysit her kids. Her husband who was a pastor started touching my me and would constantly tried to convince me to have an affair with him. I tried to stay...
September 15th, 2020

My Multiple-Offender Rape

2
Mine happened at 17. I was in high school and I couldn’t bear the thought of anyone knowing. I’ll never forget what “they” did to me. Parts of me died that night. I was Intoxicated, unconscious and woke up in an all-male athletic college dorm, being assaulted with an audience...
June 22nd, 2022

1 in 5

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1 in 5 Prior to joining a university campus, a serious of random webinars with quizzes about how much alcohol can affect the body and cheesy acting about doing the ‘right’ thing. It flies over most college freshman, who all have the same belief that I once had ‘that won’t...
October 12th, 2023

Workplace Sexual Harassment

1
As I write this story to you, please note that this sexual harassment case is still in progress. It began in December of 2022 when I worked as a contractor for a company named TEKsystems. I do IT work for Nutrien Ag Solutions. The first week I was there, I...
October 29th, 2021

Former partner would berate me

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Super thankful to have this safe space to share my story. It’s been really tough dealing with the level of guilt I’ve felt because I feel I was betrayed by not only my former partner but the girl he left me for (good riddance). As someone who identifies as trans,...
April 17th, 2019

My Story

1
I ask myself the question…..do you get over being raped as an adult? I was 29 at the time….i was just starting to love me, except me, I was excited about life…i had a reason to get up and live. I finally believed I was worth more than what was...
January 26th, 2024

Parasite

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Where do I begin? I was around kindergarten age and my abuser was an older brother of mine. Only he wasn’t my blood brother, but my brother via my adoption. My birth parents were addicted to drugs and couldn’t afford to care for me so they made the choice to...
August 18th, 2019

Abusée par un voisin de mes grands...

2
Bonjour chère Linor, Je suis en train de regarder Brave Miss World. Merci! Je témoigne car j’en ai peu parlé dans ma vie. J’avais 4 ou 5 ans. Je vivais avec mes grands-parents et ils me posaient parfois le samedi chez la voisine qui me gardait pour aller à un...
October 21st, 2019

Miss

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My story is about how I was abused at the age of 9 till the age of 13 by a close family member, and how much this destroyed my life , it was a trauma as a child, it was intense
August 30th, 2019

My story growing up with a secret

2
I’m a black South African, I’m 40 years old now, and my son it 20 years old… loved, taught but I still can never live him alone with my nieces as I was left alone and violeted💔💔😭😭 I have spoken about this, but I hate putting this down in writting😭😭...
May 8th, 2019

UNEXPOSED – AFTER 30 YEARS OF EXTREME...

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Molestation 4-13, dissociation syndrome started, afraid 24/7, PTSD 10, black outs began & were triggered by the smell of certain foods or a male authorities voice. Attempted Rape 15, Physical Abuse 16-31, all my ex-boyfriends. Rape 18, also attempted suicide & started dancing because I needed extra money & no...
January 11th, 2016

Dad and Uncle Raped Me

1
I was 12 years old. Christmas Eve 1995 when I was home with my dad and his brother who my uncle. They were drinking, I was in my room sleeping when my uncle came in and took my pants off. He was kissing and touching me. He said he wanted...
May 24th, 2019

The Statistics that Changed Me

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2 sexual assaults and 1 rape… the statistics of my story. I can’t promise that this story is pleasant, but I can tell you that power and growth comes with telling it. So sincerely, thank you for hearing me out. October 2017 I was in Chebut, Argentina(a part of the...
July 5th, 2022

Sexually abused by my father

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It will soon be fourteen years since I was sexually abused .I was only ten when I was robbed of my childhood. I think it happened in the month of October . The first day it happened, my made me stay home because i I had exams when in reality...
October 15th, 2022

Male dancer

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Hello my Name is Tj. This happen about 4 years ago I was 19 years old at very young age I always tried to see the good in people. I was always happy and felt nothing could break me down went threw cancer as a baby lost my brother and...
March 3rd, 2021

My protector, my father, my rapist all...

2
I remember the first time like it was yesterday. I was asked if I would like to “play a game”. Come to find out I didn’t like that game. I don’t think I’ll ever like THAT game. I was THREE the first time, and 13 the last. I was raped...
May 14th, 2019

My biggest mistake

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Well it happened when i was 15 (I’m 17 now). I was a crazy teenager who wanted popularity and attention, and a boyfriend. My childhood bestie introduced me to a guy, he was sweet and a lot like me and i instantly liked him. After talking for a month or...
November 3rd, 2020

Ex Boyfriend

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I dated a boy for about 6 months. He was 17 I was 15. He seemed to care about me but there were so many red flags that I ignored. I’ve never told anybody this, but he raped me. The next day and I told my friends that I lost...
February 27th, 2020

Was it rape?

2
I was 21. I’m a Christian and as taught in my circle we are to be virgins until marriage and I was trying to uphold that, but I was curious about sex and flirting with sex. I went to a Baptist university where being alone with a guy wasn’t even...
March 24th, 2021

My Brother

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I was 7 when it happened the first time. It was my older brother. Our father would read us a chapter from one the Magic Treehouse Books, and I would stay to sleep in his bed because I was afraid to be alone at night. He told me that if...
April 20th, 2022

So long, I’ll be seeing you everywhere

1
He was my boyfriend. I thought he saw us as equals – after all, we used to be members of progressive parties in our country. But I was wrong. One night, I told him that I do not want to have sex that time because I might get pregnant. He...
December 9th, 2023

i was a child.

2
i was 6, i lived with my dad. I remember when he would get mad he would punch me, kick me, hit me over the head with any chance he got. When i was 6 he sexually assaulted me. I was sitting on the lounge and he started touching me....
March 12th, 2016

Hurt and Anger

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I was 9 years old when it all started, my mom started working in a new restaurant and would leave at 5am and come back at 3pm, and my “father” didn’t work for he had a lawsuit that didn’t let him work. It was random when my “father” started to...
May 7th, 2019

Did I ask for this?

3
During my childhood-teen years it always seemed like there was a dark cloud hanging over me. One abuser after another, after another. At 12 years old I started experimenting with drugs pretty heavily. It was my way of forgetting reality. I was with my first love for 5 years. He...
May 18th, 2021

I Don’t Know My Story

1
I don’t know my story.. of all of the pain that I’ve been through.. I couldn’t feel my pain at times.. but what I had to go through to get here.. I’ll never understand my praise.. I don’t try to figure it out.. because my worship my worship is for...
June 19th, 2022

I didn’t even know I was pregnant

1
When I was thirteen I had one friend. I had a selective mutism and non-white in a very unsafe households, with a single absent mother who was debting, and I was bullied in school. I was already sexually abused every night by my biological father, and was constantly dissociated from...
June 8th, 2023

Unethical or illegal?

1
Last year my partner and I worked for the same business. It was a small business near a small town and it had no management or HR of any sort – only one man owned and ran it, even though it served thousands of people each year. I hit it...
August 26th, 2020

Stranger, Friend, Lawyer, and Youth Leader

3
People have accused me of being a liar and the one with whom the fault lies… repeatedly. They use statistics to give themselves a platform to shame me or to feel better about their lives, because they don’t want to face reality. The reality is that statistics are not always...
May 8th, 2019

Spoke out and was blamed

3
I am the only girl at a job of 4 men. I am also 20 while these men are 40+. One worker would grab me from behind when I would walk in the back to the bathroom. This would happen often. One day all my coworkers had to go outside...
July 2nd, 2019

She was 5 years old

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I was four years old and was at a family reunion where I went to play with my female, five year old cousin. I knew something was wrong when she had the door locked from the outside by her brother and told me that I couldn’t tell anyone what we...
November 24th, 2020

My best friend

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He was my best friend. I was 18, and so was he. We decided to go to his place to study after school one day (like we usually did) and everything was like normal at school that day. He acted as if everything was normal.. However that all changed the...