May 19th, 2023
i was sexually abused
i was about 10 or 11 when my sister’s dad sexually abused me. he kept telling me it was ok and it went on for 4 years. then i got older and fought back. then my family walked in on him hitting me and my mum chucked him out. i...
May 2nd, 2023
He was 15
My stepbrother wanted to play “house” with me and my other step siblings. He decided I was the mom and he was the dad. He shooed my step siblings out of the room, locked the door, turned off the lights, laid down next to me and touched me. After 10...
April 23rd, 2023
a shattered girl and her dreams restored
My name is Abby and I want to share my story with you because I want to be who I needed when I was there…as a million shattered pieces on the ground. I was raped at age 15 by someone I barely knew. For a few years though, I didn’t...
April 21st, 2023
sexual assault & abuse
we were first together when we were in 7th grade, he left me and never came back like he promised. & when i was in the end of my 8th grade year (he was a freshman), he came back. But he never changed. He got worse. He would touch me....
April 18th, 2023
My dad is a very complicated man who has always struggled with his mental health, unfortunately he uses unhealthy coping mechanisms like alcohol. My parents often get into huge fights and have never had a stable relationship and when i was younger my mum or him used to ask me...
April 16th, 2023
I was sexually assaulted at a church. My boyfriend at the time he kept grabbing my hand during a service he kept trying to force me to jerk him off and i kept pulling my hand back but he was stronger, but that wasn’t the only time. On the next...
April 14th, 2023
When I was 10, my father twisted my mind into thinking sex was convenient and normal between a father and daughter. I was so small and innocent that I didn’t know what to believe, but I was too scared and weak to do anything about it. For the next 5...
April 10th, 2023
My principal mom raped me
When I was just ten years old my mom would remove my clothes then sexually assault me. it didn’t matter how much I cried as she did it. She only cared about what turned her on. :’( I’ve been quiet about it because she’s a principal at a school, but...
April 7th, 2023
I was nine when it first happened, my cousin would try to touch me. I would push and kick but he was 16 at the time which meant he was stronger than I was. This would continue for a few months, I didn’t feel safe around anyone so I shut...
April 3rd, 2023
He was 56
Dear Jr, This for you if I happen to leave before whoever and you’re able to read this message. Jr, I looked up to you as that father figure when Daddy became ill and you the only person out the meeting that decided to take all three of us in....
March 22nd, 2023
I was 14
I was 14 when I first experienced the touch of a man. Not a boy, but a man. A man that I resided and trusted in. A man who was supposed to protect me. A man who I called my step father. No one could’ve prepared me for the maturity...
March 20th, 2023
I was only 5
When I was 5 years old, my family had friends from church helping us pack up to move across town. It was my family and the other family’s mother, daughter, and son helping pack things in boxes. Since I was 5, I wasn’t asked to help and just got to...
March 19th, 2023
Simple games was a way to hide...
Trigger warning: I am healing well after many many years of understanding and facing the sexual abuse I experienced as a child. I think it’s important to share this experience so parents can look out for similar behavior in abusers. Please watch for innocent games that could really be more....
March 17th, 2023
I returned to fine art in 1990 when I took at class in indigo dyeing at San Francisco State University. I was lucky that the instructor, Yoshiko Wada, and another student from her class, were in the East Bay so that we could carpool together. We would talk textiles on our weekly journey across the Bay Bridge to the Campus. The other student was an accomplished Quilter named Linda MacDonald. Linda lived in Willits near the famous Mendocino Art Center, but traveled to Berkeley to attend this class once a week. The Indigo vat was made in a 32-gallon garbage can and had to be kept covered between dyeing sessions. Indigo is a unique rich blue dye that develops with an oxidization process when exposed to air. Dipping the fabric several times, and allowing the natural fiber to oxidize before dipping it again, creates darker shades of blue. The dye in the vat is created from a mixture of indigo pigment, various chemicals and a reducing agent to remove oxygen from the dye. It is a rich green color while in the vat, which shows up on the fabric before it is fully exposed to the air. The smell emitted from the dye is unusual, a musky odor in my mind. I like to think that it smells like the color blue. The vat needs to be carefully stirred and maintained between dyeing sessions. There is a “bloom” on the top of the vat created by oxidized indigo, making a bubbly and shiny ball of material reminiscent of a flower. The “bloom” gets moved to the side before entry of the pre-wetted fabric. The process reminds me of baking bread or making yogurt where the steps need to be carefully followed to achieve the desired results. In the process of bread and yogurt making, there are living cultures involved in order to create the product, and with the creation and dyeing process of indigo, it has that same feeling of being alive. In order to create interesting patterns, my classmates and I would use resist techniques on the fabric like pastes, stitching and clamping. Simple household items like clothespins could be used to create patterns by folding and then placing the pins at intervals along the fold lines. Beautiful and surprising results were achieved using these methods. Image of Indigo dye on fabric during the oxidization process. My dream of being a professional artist, all started in early childhood, and the first memories of my creations go back to Nursery School. I loved playing with all kinds of materials, like paint, clay, and crayons, just to name a few examples. Mel (Melanie), painting at Jack and Jill Nursery School, Walnut Creek, California, 1960. In 1974, a neighbor in Marin where I was living at the time and studying art at College of Marin told me about an Art School in Mexico. I ended up sending off slides of my work with an application to the Instituto Allende, and was delighted to hear that I was accepted. I began my journey to study there in San Miguel de Allende by flying to Mexico City in January of 1975. A bus ride completed that journey. When I first arrived, I moved in with a family who had two small children, including a newborn. It seemed like a safe living situation for a 19-year-old woman, but that shortly proved to not be true when the husband started coming on to me. I ended up finding my own place on the other side of town. It was a spacious abode with a wall that was shared with a weaving factory next door. There were 2 adjoined bedrooms, a bathroom, a large living/kitchen area and a small concrete patio out the back door. There was no hot water, refrigerator or a telephone. When I needed hot water for dishes, I would boil some on the stove. For showers, I had to build a fire in a box below a water tank outside to get hot water. I felt much more secure living there and walking a further distance to the Instituto on the other side of town than living with the husband who had made me feel so unsafe. There was the Central Plaza, which was called the “Jardin” that was in the middle of town, and I would pass through it on my walk quite frequently. This was the site of fireworks and festivals, like the celebration of Cinco de Mayo. The streets were cobblestone and many charming shops and galleries were located downtown. The School itself was on a beautiful campus with large ornate doors in front that were closed when school was not in session. Photo of the closed front doors of the Instituto Allende I had heard about you and what you had done to other women before you appeared in my main living space one sunny spring afternoon pointing a gun at me. You had a bandana wrapped around your face and tied behind your head. I had heard you first, in the bathroom. Dressed in a long polyester dress with colorful psychedelic patterns. I wasn’t wearing any underwear or shoes. I walked through the 2 bedrooms and turned left when I saw you standing there. I screamed and shouted, “help me,” thinking that workers at the Weaving Factory would hear me and come rescue me. Nobody came. You said to me “Coyote” which I later learned meant to be quiet or to shut up. You grabbed my shoulders and dragged me out the unlocked back door onto the concrete patio. The tops of my feet got scraped. I gave up. I knew you were going to rape me. I just wanted you to finish as quickly as possible. You took off your belt and put down your gun. Somehow I managed to pick up your gun and threw it over the wall embedded with glass on the top, into the alleyway. The same wall you had climbed over to get into my place through the unlocked back door. Towards the end of this ordeal, I heard a knock on my door. You left, climbing back over the wall. I answered the door. My friend Rhonda had come by to visit me. I told her what had happened and we walked to the Police Station nearby. I had your belt with me. The one you left behind. I went to the front counter, telling the officers behind the counter what had happened to me. They were laughing and playing cards at the time. I showed them your belt. They told me to bring you in if I saw you again. I left with Rhonda and took a bath at the where place she lived. We didn’t talk about what happened. We moved in together shortly after that. I sent a telegram to my father and stepmother about what had happened to me. Nobody came to help me. Rhonda helped me when I got hepatitis A and could no longer go to school. I was on my own when it came to figuring out how to return to the Bay Area. I moved in with my father and stepmother. They didn’t talk to me about what happened to me. They sent me to a doctor who diagnosed me with type 1 diabetes. He showed me how to give myself insulin injections. He told me to practice by injecting oranges with empty syringes. My mother told me years later that “You were never the same again” after what you did to me. I survived. I gave up art for 15 years before realizing that I wanted to go back to art school. In those years, I became so disturbed that I had panic attacks, deep depression and needed to move in with my mother at age 30. I started therapy after becoming self destructive in my 20’s. Depression also called “the blues” has been my long time companion. It has taken me a lifetime to heal. My iPhone predicts the words, depression, PTSD and C-PTSD for my text messages. After my Indigo dyeing class at San Francisco State, I enrolled in the Textiles Fine Art program at California College of Arts and Crafts (now known as California College of the Arts) in Oakland. I was married at the time and had become pregnant with our daughter Emily right before classes started in September. Emily was born on May 13, 1991. By the Fall of 1992, I was a single mom and an art student. An inheritance from my mother who died in 1995, allowed me to graduate and to buy my first home. I continued to work with indigo dyeing and created a large textile piece about my experience in Mexico. After many years of therapy and other healing modalities, I recently started painting on canvas. Part of that process has been a Soul Retrieval session to bring back my 4 year old self who loved to paint. I am feeling uplifted and encouraged after many years of recurring periods of severe emotional pain. Stay tuned for more details about my new work. One of my final pieces was a textile called “Out of the Blues.”
I returned to fine art in 1990 when I took at class in indigo dyeing at San Francisco State University. I was lucky that the instructor, Yoshiko Wada, and another student from her class, were in the East Bay so that we could carpool together. We would talk textiles on...
March 13th, 2023
He was my younger brothers friend
My younger brother who is over a year younger had a friend. I saw him often, and he came over to the house a lot. His friend is younger than me as well. He was always mean to me and excluded me when I wanted to hang out with them....
March 6th, 2023
Finally telling my story.
It was summer time, I was going into third grade when it all happen. It lasted until I was in sixth grade, you might be wondering why it lasted that long and I can tell you why. My names Caitlin and I’m a survivor of sexual assault. It all started...
February 24th, 2023
I can’t remember before it started
I knew something was wrong but I figured everyone else was like that. My earliest memory is of being violated. Of pain and an indiscribable feeling of loss. If I were to lay it all out it wouldn’t make for a very readable story. There are only so many things...
February 3rd, 2023
It’s quite ALARMING how much one incident can have such a huge ripple effect on one’s life. Nobody told me how hard it would be just to wake up and decide to move on. How your own body betrays you after you’ve begged yourself to just forget about the touch,...
February 2nd, 2023
He was family
I was so young can’t even properly remember his face well at least how it looks now since he’s grown up he was 6years older I was 7-9. He used to come to our house to stay my cousin. I don’t think he was actually my cousin just called that...
December 23rd, 2022
When school isn’t safe. (Australia)
I was in year 9. I endured over 6 months of sexual harassment, intimidation and violence every day during school times. The teachers were aware of this, but their only concern was the length of my skirt. Whether I was “asking for it”. Being “overdramatic”. The boys who did it...
December 22nd, 2022
Get a bf or I’ll kick you...
My father was abusive, he would touch me and my sisters inappropriately and focus our mum to have sex with him everyday. She would go into their bedroom with him, something she would be screaming and come out in tears. She had married him at 19 and he had isolated...
December 12th, 2022
I grew up at my uncle’s house. He was a heroine addict and dealer. Many of his “friends” would come over for heroine on a regular basis. When I was 7 years old, three of his friends took an interest in me and would take turns visiting me in my...
December 4th, 2022
The Pedophiles’ Paradise
I am sharing my story because I care about their children and yours too. I was raised in a religious society that experts call The Pedophiles’ Paradise. It has the largest pedophile list in the world which it withholds from the appropriate authorities. I was sexually abused by three adult...
December 2nd, 2022
I was sexually coerced this semester at college. It was one of my longtime friends. I thought I could trust him but I was wrong. He and I talked about hanging out and so we did. We talked for a while, was physical and was at first consensual. Then he...
November 28th, 2022
i just want to tell someone.
we dated for like a month a long time ago in march/april 2021. we broke up late april and stopped talking after that and i started dating someone else again. in late august me and the other person broke up and kaya found out so he started texting me again...
November 6th, 2022
I story I have yet to accept...
I was only 17. He was 18. He was a friend of mine. Looking back he was no friend of mine. Because after that day, everything changed, he knew what he did to me. Because he never tried reaching out to me once. It was November 4th, 2019. We had...
October 22nd, 2022
My brother has accidentally touched me the wrong way. One time we were playing in the pool (we had to be between 9 – 11) and we were pretending like we were drowning. We would grab on each other legs to pull the other down as well. However, he started...
October 15th, 2022
Hello my Name is Tj. This happen about 4 years ago I was 19 years old at very young age I always tried to see the good in people. I was always happy and felt nothing could break me down went threw cancer as a baby lost my brother and...
October 13th, 2022
i was 5 , 12 , 13...
When i was 5 , i vividly remember things that happened around that age. Of course no one looked at the signs or acknowledged it and that only made it worse. I don’t remember who touched me first to make my behavior that way but this is what i remember....
October 9th, 2022
When My Body Wasn’t Mine.
I remember the times where my body wasn’t mine. When you grabbed my barely developing body forcefully. And my small body with little to no strength could not fight back. Could not take away your hands from places that were supposed to be private. Places that were supposed to be...
October 7th, 2022
3 years later i still wonder if...
Was this sexual assault? When i was a teenager, I had a guy best friend who was dating my best friend. He tried to be in a relationship with me before but i made i clear that i just wanted to be friends. One night all of us (me him...
September 25th, 2022
This is the first time I’m sharing this story. It happened in 2015 during my senior year of college. After having a couple of beers with friends at the bar I started walking home. While walking one of my professors happens to be driving by and offers to bring me...
September 16th, 2022
I was sexually assaulted by my best friend/ ex-boyfriend. Sometimes the memory/ flashbacks become so overwhelming. Anyways, my friends and I (him included) planned a trip and the two of us had punched in a day early coz the flight prices were cheap. We were just waiting in the hotel...
September 13th, 2022
Raped in my own bed
Locked forever in Liberty Plaza, Frozen in time, always saying no, But no one hears me, no one listens and no one comes. But why would they? If I don’t scream for help. Locked forever, in my tiny uni room. Your clothes, stained with vomit, in my bathroom. Photos of...
September 4th, 2022
Creepy Grand Uncle
One time when I was 10, I had the weirdest scary experience of my life. It was a Chinese new year party we had every beginning of the year and all my relatives were there such as grandmas, grand aunties and uncles, uncles, aunties, cousins, you name it! All the...
September 2nd, 2022
My Story – Not a fun one.
When I was in my early teens, my mother brought home a “friend” one drunken night. I’d already suffered some abuse at this point, but nothing physical, and I was used to drunk people. My mother and this “friend” get blackout drunk. I’ve always been shy, so I hid in...
August 22nd, 2022
Fraternity gang rape
This is something I have never shared online before only with close family and my current partner. When I was freshly 19 I moved to Eastern Washington University to start school as a freshman. I had just gotten out of a long term relationship and would be attending school with...
August 13th, 2022
This is my story; Being a fan of a few Korean actors and follow them trough a fan page is a great way to be updated for all the in’s and out’s. Especially you can share these with more admires all over the world, we all admire these amazing actors....
August 10th, 2022
Middle school sexual harassment
Hi, my name is Valeria. When i was in middle school i was constantly cat-called and sexual harassed. people would ask me to do things (I did a couple times until i caught on).
August 10th, 2022
I was 15. I went to stay the weekend with a friend a town over. She bought me to a friends house and they were two older boys; not much older a few years. The place was a really old one bedroom trailer not very big at all. A small...
August 8th, 2022
I was 13, he was my first...
When i was 13, i was raped twice by my first boyfriend. since then my perception of love has been warped. No one believed me, my friends decided it was easier to ignore the truth than drop a single friend who was a rapist. I had to endure all the...
August 5th, 2022
When I was 4
I was 4 when I started to get raped by my mom’s friend. He normally did it to me when my mom went to the store or to see a friend. It was mostly oral sex. I didn’t tell anyone because he said he would kill my mom but also...
August 5th, 2022
In 2018 I was sexually assaulted by two guys. One of them I was going to have sex with. But I wanted to do it vaginally. He wanted anal and I said no so he held me down and shoved it in. I was in so much pain. He pulled...
July 30th, 2022
Some of my story
For a long time I left things unsaid about what I’ve experiencedin the care of NJ as a ward. The number of abuses I experienced are numerous, and difficult to hear and read, even this late they bother me but I’m working through them…they include: Having my underwear pulled down...
July 22nd, 2022
This is my story
It was April 1st, 2012; I was 6 years old. I went to my aunts house (Moms side) to play with my cousins. I do recall being there was not the best time of my life. She told me to go into the back room with her; she then proceeded...
July 11th, 2022
i hate myself for thinking its my...
it started when i was 6 i had a cousin and he had a game we would play he said it was a fun game and well unfortunately i didn’t know this back then by i know now that i was sexually abused back then he would touch me inappropriately...
July 5th, 2022
Sexually abused by my father
It will soon be fourteen years since I was sexually abused .I was only ten when I was robbed of my childhood. I think it happened in the month of October . The first day it happened, my made me stay home because i I had exams when in reality...
June 26th, 2022
My survival story
When I was 15 I knew I had to get out of home. My father had been abusing my mum and siblings for as long as I could remember, both physically and verbally, and it was getting worse by the day. So at 15 I decided to break up with...
June 24th, 2022
It all started at 11 after my father died . I went in my village out of a job every day.I got a lot of dirty looks from old men they were talking laughing and probably took pictures of me and my sister .One day one of them cornered me...
June 22nd, 2022
1 in 5
1 in 5 Prior to joining a university campus, a serious of random webinars with quizzes about how much alcohol can affect the body and cheesy acting about doing the ‘right’ thing. It flies over most college freshman, who all have the same belief that I once had ‘that won’t...
June 19th, 2022
I didn’t even know I was pregnant
When I was thirteen I had one friend. I had a selective mutism and non-white in a very unsafe households, with a single absent mother who was debting, and I was bullied in school. I was already sexually abused every night by my biological father, and was constantly dissociated from...
June 12th, 2022
How to handle it
My grandpa is always very judgmental and he always comes and kisses my shoulders and my knees. Note I am 22. I tell him to stop and he acts sad. he says he loves me. I feel uncomfortable because I have been abused as a kid by a stranger. Today...
June 10th, 2022
Was Told to Shut My God Damn...
I grew up in a family of domestic violence and alcoholism. I was abused physically and neglected throughout my childhood. When I was 12 I felt the calling to be a nun when I grew up. My parents divorced and my dad had custody of three girls, including me. When...
May 30th, 2022
You hear the stories of the prom right? Young girls in their dresses, maybe looking to loose the one thing that society deems as ‘pure’ or ‘innocent’ with the one you love. Imagine your innocence being taken away. Stripped of your childhood on a night supposedly there to celebrate… Covid...
May 19th, 2022
It started with you.
When I was 16, I was socially awkward, shy and kept to myself. I had a small group of friends and didn’t venture far from them. At home, I was funny, happy and played the annoying little sister act pretty well. I was known for being respectful, caring and well...
May 12th, 2022
Angry and confused
When we were little, my brother and I were best friends. He was only a year older than me, and we did everything together. I remember the first time he touched me, I was 5 and he was 6. We were in the pool. I cried. It didn’t happen again...
May 8th, 2022
I was 8 years old
I was raped when I was 8 years old. The man went to prison that morning for something else. The police pulled up at the house and just let me and two other girls walk away. I did not know what to do all I knew is I was ashamed....
May 7th, 2022
I never thought it could happen to...
I had graduated from college. I was on a high- thinking I will conquer the world. the world conquered me that night. I had no idea what would happen. I am grateful to be here today. I was out celebrating my graduation and friends graduation. We went to a local...
May 6th, 2022
My Ongoing Journey
When I finally decided to switch my major to psychology and now pursue my career as a therapist, I got a lot of questions. Things like, why do you want to be a therapist? I got this from family, friends, and even strangers back in the time I served tables....
April 30th, 2022
I was thirteen. I was dating this kid from another school, we had been seeing each other for about five months before the assault had occured. i had always noticed him getting violent with me or getting manipulative when he wanted me to do something i wasnt comfortable but i...
April 20th, 2022
So long, I’ll be seeing you everywhere
He was my boyfriend. I thought he saw us as equals – after all, we used to be members of progressive parties in our country. But I was wrong. One night, I told him that I do not want to have sex that time because I might get pregnant. He...
April 17th, 2022
When I was seven years old I told my mom that I was being molested by my paternal grandpa. My mom leapt into action and called the police. My grandpa was charged with sexual abuse and rape in the same county where my dad worked as a deputy district attorney....
April 4th, 2022
A young girl
Was 14 when a stranger secually abused me by touching my butt when i was in a store. After that incident i became very confused about what had happened. I started hating my body i thought it wasn’t mine anymore. I gained 10 kgs in 3 months. I was afraid...
March 29th, 2022
I was 16 when he first met. I had never really had any male attention up until this point and grew up around toxic relationships so didn’t really have a great understanding of how relationships were meant to be. From the get go he was super manipulative. He also had...
March 25th, 2022
My husband raped me through the night of February 7th 2020. I was unconscious due to prescription medication taken after being in a car accident two months prior. Police arrested my husband. He posted 25k bail and got out the very next day. Bruises on my stomach and my hips....
March 15th, 2022
Waiting For Justice
A lot of you all have been following my healing journey for the last 6 years now and I just wanted to give a bit of an update. Recap: On March 5, 2016, I was attacked and sexually assaulted by a random stranger as I went for a morning jog...
March 12th, 2022
On February 24th 2021 by boyfriend (ex now) raped me in my home. I was black out drunk and unable to consent, and he crossed boundaries we had set sober. He lives less than a minute from me, and never faced charges because of lack of physical evidence. The detective...
March 1st, 2022
my male relative would touch me inappropriately at night. sometimes even in front of other family members, they would pass it off as him being a flirt. from ages 5-13 i endured this. I still feel his hands on me at night or his kisses on my body sometimes.
February 26th, 2022
Why was it my fault?
The sexual abuse started when i was in 1st grade. My cousin would babysit me and my siblings and then take turns molesting us. We were to scared to say anything for a few years. (That is how long it lasted.) When we finally had the courage to tell our...
February 21st, 2022
My age was never taken into account
I was 12 years old when this took place. We had a group project and boys outnumbered girls in our group. In fact, in the group of 6, only 2 were girls (including me.) We were at one of the members house and completed our project. All of us called...
February 12th, 2022
House help and cousin
Few years ago I suddenly got a flashback to when I was around 4~5 years old. I come from a joint family system with lots of family members living in the same house. Me and my cousins used to play house growing up. So when the house help( 18~20 years...
February 2nd, 2022
It wasn’t your fault
It Wasn’t Your Fault The mere fact of being born a woman is enough to place you in a sort of danger for your entire life. Society still makes sure to place you there, and more importantly, to make you believe it is only your fault. And while I did...
January 29th, 2022
My stepfather raped me
When I was 11 years old my parents were divorced and my mother moved myself and my brother to her hometown which was 18 miles away. It wasn’t long before my mom had a new boyfriend she moved in and married. He wasn’t a stranger, he and his wife had...
January 22nd, 2022
I blamed myself… Twice
I was 18 and just started going out clubbing. Normally I wouldn’t get as drunk as I did, but I was fighting with the guy I was kinda seeing and the alcohol just got the best of me. I met a random guy and we kissed, I didn’t want to...
January 17th, 2022
You had no rights
“Meet me after school, today. I wanted to tell you something,” a boy from my class said, “…in private,” he added, looking at my friend, whom I was talking to. My friend raised an eyebrow at me and I shrugged. “Where?” I asked. “Uhh… At the back of the school.”...
January 15th, 2022
A few years ago I found this site and I read the stories of others. I was able for maybe the first time in my entire life to speak about what had happened to me without censoring myself for fear of someone else’s reaction or condemnation. I was raped. I...
January 5th, 2022
I woke up that day and got ready for school. I was particualy happy because I had thought my life was getting better. My school friends were great, I had friends I could walk home with after the school bus, including a guy. I’ll call him A, who was 1...
January 2nd, 2022
I am a Survivor
I didn’t want to be a survivor once I realized what happened. Hell, I still don’t want to be a survivor. I was seven years old when I first got raped, when something first happened to me. I didn’t understand, I was so scared. It happened by my aunt’s husband....
December 13th, 2021
He was my best friend
He was my best friend of 8 years. I was really leaning on him for support as I had just experienced my first sexual assault like 6 months beforehand. I was really struggling mentally so he offered to take me out for a night and we went into the city...
December 12th, 2021
It’s taken me years to admit what happened. I had just started seeing this guy and had invited him to a Halloween party I was hosting. We had several drinks and my friend agreed that he needed to spend the night, rather than him driving home. I allowed him to...