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Broken Car Broke Me

My ex-husband and I had been divorced for two years and I had not seriously dated anyone since. I had my fair share of wanted hook-ups, but nothing serious. Because of my divorce I decided to file bankruptcy, and in the process of I gave up my car. I saved enough money to buy a temporary car to get me around until I could save enough for something nice. The problem with cheap cars, is that they have problems. My car started to act up, so I called my ex-husband to find out if he knew any mechanics. I had known his cousin was a mechanic, and my ex told me he would give his cousin a call for me. I got a text a couple days after from his cousin (John) offering help to fix my car. He came over the next week. It was early December, and my family was going to go… Continue reading »

27 Hours

I climbed onto the tall charter bus, juggling my backpack and suitcase. I realized that I must have been running late; all the seats around my best friends were full. My eyes quickly darted around for an empty seat. He smiled at me from the middle of the bus – my mom’s friend’s son. We didn’t have much of a relationship except for exchanging hellos, but he was always friendly towards me. I sat down in the seat next to him. We were on a 27 hour bus ride home from our school’s cross-country road trip. Little did I know, this was about to be the worst 27 hours of my life. We boarded at 7 pm, and a movie later, the bus had grown pitch black dark. He rested his hand on my thigh. I quickly drew back with a “stop,” and a slight laugh due to disbelief. He’d never shown interest in me… Continue reading »

A Letter

t’s been a while, hasn’t it? I’m sure neither of you have noticed the lack of access you have to my social media as I have blocked you. I am a part of your past now, a simple memory that occasionally pops up on your Facebook memories or in your day to day memory reel. I am a fragment of your past, a page of your story that was carried away by the current many years ago. But that is not what you are to me. You are my story, the unwritten story. The novel written in pretty letters all over my body where you touched me last, where it has been engraved into my blood stream and cannot be simply washed away. The first man to assault me was a best friend, a friend of my boyfriends. We were so close, I let you stay with me in the night, I knew it was… Continue reading »

Raped While Traveling

In the US, what happened to me in India is rape. In some other countries rape is defined by penis/vagina contact and this is another form of sexual assault. Either way, it’s hurtful and wrong. My confidence is completely shattered. I feel so violated. I keep having nightmares; I just know that it hit me like a speeding truck. I thought I had put it to the darkest and farthest part of my memory, but that’s the funny thing about your mind. It plays tricks on you. It makes you believe that you’re this fully functioning human being until one day it all comes rushing back and there’s not a damn thing you can do to stop it. Let me tell you about the night I was very sexually assaulted. It was winter, Feb 9th, 2017, my 25th birthday, and it happened in India. I travel alone. I’ve never been nervous about the Bad Things… Continue reading »

November ’08

Hi, my name is Erica. On November 4th, 2008, the day the results of the presidential election were announced, I was sexually assaulted. It was a Tuesday night. Myself and a couple of friends were at a bar across from Union Station, having drinks while waiting to find out the results of the recent election. I was 19. Obviously Obama was the victor of this election. Everyone at the bar (including myself) was in good spirits upon hearing the news. Eventually, my friend (K) and I ended up going back to my ex-boyfriend’s house to celebrate. After we arrived, we had a few drinks with my ex (R) and his friend Phil. At the time, I was a sophomore at Catholic University (in NE, DC), and I knew R from college. R was also a bartender at a local bar and Phil was an occasional DJ at the bar. Phil was much older (mid 40’s)… Continue reading »

A Co-Worker

I’m not sure when it all started- The shame. The guilt. The nightmares. I just know that it hit me like a speeding truck. I thought I had put it to the darkest and farthest part of my memory, but that’s the funny thing about your mind. It plays tricks on you. It makes you believe that you’re this fully functioning human being until one day it all comes rushing back and there’s not a damn thing you can do to stop it. When I was seventeen, I met a guy at work. He seemed fun and outgoing. He always had a knack for making me laugh and I thought he was pretty cute. We were pretty flirty until I found out he had a girlfriend. (Despite the rumors floating around at work, I was not that kind of girl.) Eventually. I tried distancing myself from him but I found him still hanging around where… Continue reading »

Just wanted to be loved

I was with this person for 3 years he said he cared and that he loved me he had me thinking it was going to Be so much more for three years I cared about this person. I took everything from him the hurt,the pain in the abuse that he did to me I knew it wasn’t right but I stayed because I loved him he took advantage of me every way he could I still cared for him .He promised me that things would be better . He will call me over to his house saying he just wanted to see me or he just wanted to spend some time with me but when i got there he will be trying to take my clothes off and I tell him no then he will pull my clothes down and start to rape me I’ll be crying tears in my eyes and he still doing… Continue reading »

Date Rape

I’m 16. I’ve known the guy since I was 12. He’s been my best friend since I was 14. Last night, we were supposed to go to a lake and just hang out. It was boring so we went home, as normal. I had this brilliant idea that we could maybe get drunk. He said he didn’t want to drink that much because he needed to drive me home. He ended up not drinking at all, which I thought was strange. I took a few shots over my limit. I made it very clear to him that I could NOT have sex with him because I was to drunk. I know my exact words. He seemed okay with it but the next thing I know I’m face down on the floor where I know what was about to go down. And he took off my pants and it happened. I know what he was doing… Continue reading »

The Friendship I Always Never Wanted

Denny* and I had a turbulent relationship. We had fun, so much fun – until 2009 began to unfold. Surviving Black Saturday traumatized Denny. His uncle had committed suicide a month earlier. He was experiencing his first hardships as an adult, and I was too young and naïve to see how it was destroying him. He became distant from his friends, our friends. They too were blind to the truth. I was burdened with the blame for his absence, from everyone. Even William*. I looked up to William. I wanted so much to be a part of his life. Being shunned by him for consequences outside my actions hurt deeply. I was desperate to befriend him again. To be forgiven for wrongs I had not committed. Denny and I broke up. Years went by. William and I were on the outskirts of one and other, infinitely crossing paths. My grief for our friendship stayed strong…. Continue reading »

My Life

I was very young when my step dad abused me. I was about 5 or 6 years old. He said if I didn’t do as he said he would kill my mother. He was very abusive to my mother so I was scared and I did as he told me. When I was 7 I got to meet my father. We got to know each other and he suspected that my step father abused me. When I was 10, I lived with my father and my mother and my step father. 3 years later my step father died and I was relived and its took me 4 years to tell someone about my step father abusing me.