I was hanging out with my friend and his friend we were all watching a movie and hanging out. Then my friend went upstairs, and he came and sat next to me. He kept asking me to do things to him. I kept saying no but he just kept persisting. Then he started touching me and wouldn’t stop. No matter what I said he wouldn’t stop. He wouldn’t go or leave me alone. I didn’t know what else to do. I felt so alone. Then he raped me. I don’t think he even knew he was raping me. I just wanted to leave, and go somewhere. Anywhere other than there.
Sexual assault/ sex trafficking
My name is kat, I am 17 years old and this is my story. 2 years ago on January 16th, my best friend brought me to a house in Arlington Texas. The owner of this house was a man named Timothy burns, (he does not deserve to be anonymous.) A 43 year old that my once friend had met on a sugar daddy website in which he lied about his age claiming he was 23. We had taken an Uber in which he paid for, knowing we didn’t have transportation, being 14 at the time. Once arriving, he smoked weed with us and insisted we drink. That night he raped us both and the next morning paid us both $500. And with that we left. I understood what happened, but not in the way I should’ve, two weeks after the incident, I sat in class when a police officer came In and called me out…. Continue reading »
Still Terrified
I was scared to write this. But, since I cannot settle my mind, I thought I would just go ahead and write so that I can clear my head and hopefully ease this pressure off my chest. You should know, if I may say, this is not easy, actually it is really very hard. I find myself still waiting for that place I was told comes with time – where you could discuss the bad things and your feelings not be so wrapped up in them to the point that you cannot function or breathe right, or it no longer holds you bound. A time when a thing can just be a thing – I guess that is the sentiment anyway. Nevertheless, here it goes… I was born in Baltimore MD. I was raped by my father starting at 18 months, which is when my mother left, according to her anyway! She said she left… Continue reading »
And It Continues
I’m 22 years old. The first time i was molested I was six years old. Over the years I was molested several more times by different people. Almost as if people could see an invisible target on my back that meant I was easy prey. Each time I vowed that that was the last time. Each time I thought I got smarter, that I got braver, that I got stronger. In December I was assaulted again, and after all the practice I’ve had in this area, I never saw it coming. This guy had been my friend earnestly for 4 years. But we’ve known each other since we were born. Our fathers grew up together and they’re like brothers. So we always were treated as if he and I were cousins. Since we were “like” cousins I felt it was ok to relax with him though because I figured nothing would happen. So I would… Continue reading »
Never thought I could be a victim
Victim. As I live through this new vocabulary, which I had somehow managed to never befriend in all these years of pain, trouble, disappointment, heartbreak, disenchantment, depression even… I struggle to accept, this truth, this world view, this reality which has smacked me right across my face, my soul, my body, my heart, revolts… In anger, no no, rage or with the earth shattering, heart wrenching pain, that clenches around my lungs, making my screams pour through my eyes, my clenched fists, breaking the walls of my silence. Till I can no longer bear them. Victim. I don’t really know, how to react, respond, reach out or search within, Is it resilience or is it avoidance? Is it grieving or is it spiraling? Every answer that I had learnt had not prepared me for these questions, and I fail to reconcile with the me that is, the me that was or will ever be. How… Continue reading »
Raped in Foster care
My name is Tobi, and I’m a rape victim. That being the said, I will only discuss how child protection services failed to keep me or my daughter safe in the care of child services in Stone County, Wiggins Mississippi. The address at the time was 718 Newton Street Wiggins Mississippi, 39577. The Judge and child services willingly knew and ignored my pleas for help. Leaving me broken and permanently scarred to this day, with no trust for anyone. Not only did they fail me, they failed my daughter whom was a result of a rape that occurred when I was 15, by a man in his 40’s. His girlfriend at the time said she looked past things he did to give him the benefit of doubt, and that he was a good person. It also happened at her house. I was asleep and woke to him getting from on top of me. It was… Continue reading »
To protect and serve
As a police officer he had taken an oath to Honor the uniform and badge worn by many; and, to Protect and Serve the citizens of the metropolitan city with whom he swore this oath to protect and serve. As a Deacon with a mega-church, also assigned as its’ Inner-city Youth Bus Minister, he collected donations made to the church as offerings; and, he ensured several school buses filled with young children attended the church regularly. He additionally moonlighted as the Director of Security with an acclaimed international chain of hotels locally; and, he sold homes as a licensed realtor. Other professional endeavors he was engaged in when living are as a radio personality keeping listeners informed by helicopter of rush hour traffic conditions; and then prior to my knowing him, he was a US Navy Seaman. At home he was nothing more and nothing less than pure evil. I was in kindergarten the first… Continue reading »
Feelings After I was Raped 20 plus years
I am always screaming inside. What is Normal. I forgot who I was before I was raped. What is it like to be Happy. I never really sleep. I am always mad. Not a day goes by that I don’t think about my Rapist(s). Why I never told anyone. I am Embarressed. I am Ashamed. I am so stupid. I let it happen. Believe me. Don’t believe me. I never really Smile. I don’t know what love really is. I am numb. Trust. Sitting in the Shower. Crying with No Sound. Who am I really. I Never want to Leave my house. Nobody knows. Everybody knows. Worse. Hurt. Pain. Sorrow. I want to die everyday. I want to live. Don’t touch me. Touch me. Where is my Laugh. I am weak. Bury my head im my pillow every night. I want to be left alone. Don’t leave me alone. Breathe. I want to forget. I… Continue reading »
I don’t Know, but I Know
We gathered on a Saturday at my BFFs pool. It went from 4 of us to a couple of dozen! I had some beers, not a lot really, but I fell asleep on a deck chair. I woke up in someone’s room. I was still in my swimsuit, but my shirt was gone. I had wet myself, and felt basically nasty. I had to go to the bathroom, and then washed my suit and myself. I found my shirt on the downstairs banister railing, and got some food. No one said anything as I rejoined, so I just felt I got away with it. It was when they posted to social, that I felt funnier about it. Among all the pics, they had a couple of my BFFs brother, in a Viking helmet, picking me up in his arms. He carried me off, throwing me over his shoulder to get through the door. It was… Continue reading »
It’s been 5 years, and you still haunt me.
t’s been 5 years since I last saw you. 5 years since I found you on a Christian dating website. We had been on one date previous to that night. You invited me over for your birthday party, I went, even though the forecast showed extreme rain and hail. I spent about 3 hours with you and your friends; I was starting to fall for you. When you walked me out to my car, you kissed me very deeply, and I hate to say I enjoyed it. I kissed you back and pretty soon we were in a full blown make out session. You pulled open my passenger door and pushed me on the seat. I tried to get back up but you held me down. You were so much bigger and stronger than I was. As I started to cry, saying that I didn’t want to do this, you shook your head and laughed…. Continue reading »