It happened the summer going into my sophomore year of high school 2015. I was 15 and I lived in a very small and very bad town. Our middle school, yes I said middle school, was in the top 5 drug filled schools in 2 metroplex areas. Everyone new the drug dealers, even the teachers bought from them. Girls very commonly got pregnant when they entered high school and sometimes even middle school. Although my story doesnt directly deal with drugs, it is important to know what my town was like and how famous drug dealers were there. Although I have never done drugs before, I did have sex once my freshman year with a guy I dated for over a year. Because my inner circle of friends new about the one time I ever had sex, they secretly set me up with a guy. I was invited to my friends house for a movie… Continue reading »
New Years Eve
Almost two years ago now, I was raped on new years eve. One of my best friends from high school was having a house party and I was home from my first year in college. All of my close high-school friends went. Before the ball drop, S (what I will call him) showed up. S was a guy that I had a crush on for two years in high school. I had hooked up with him before but we had never had sex or a relationship. I also took him to the Sadie’s dance my sophomore year of high school. We just didn’t go together so I moved on. So he shows up to my friend’s party with some of his friends. I remember sitting on the counter talking to him. I had been drinking but not too much. Right as the ball dropped for the new year, he kissed me and thats when my… Continue reading »
Rape without remorse
It’s been 3 weeks and 6 days since that night. 3 weeks and 6 days since you took away my self respect, my self worth and the only ounce of self esteem I had left. This is a letter to my rapist. I never thought it would be someone I knew. How could my perception of you have been so wrong. I thought I was happy to see you when I met you out that night. As impressions go you seemed like a lovely person. I will always regret taking that next shot you bought me because after that the night went completely black. That morning you woke me up and for a minute I was happy that someone I knew had taken care of me that night. That was until I looked down and saw that my trousers were no longer on me, jacket and top still on though. Strange don’t you think? I… Continue reading »
Lost My Virginity In Rape By Jehovah’s Witness Boss
I was barely 17. Living on my own and fairly naive. Had a job at chicfila in Clayton Georgia USA. He was 36. Ex con. Jehovah’s witness and my boss. He raped me repeatedly over the course of two years. Forced anal when I said no. Choked me unconscious and took what he wanted when I couldn’t defend myself. If I tried to defend myself it only made it worse. I’m 5’4″ 120lbs. He was 3x my strength. He told me he could and would kill me. Forced me to cheat on my boyfriend when I said I didn’t want to. I was afraid to tell anyone because he was so loved I knew I would lose my job and not be able to get another one as it was a small town and he knew many people. His name was Erick. I finally moved states and now live in a secure military base with… Continue reading »
it was 1 am
it was my first bonfire party and i was so excited. i live overseas during the school year so summer is when i get to reconnect with friends. i drank, a bit, not enough to do any damage and i found myself talking to the boy that everyone was whispering about. from our conversation, i learned that he was also visiting and that he had lived here before. it was such a nice coincidence to find out he lived next door to me as a child. he was handsome and charming, he didn’t need booze to face the social obstacles of a party. i planned to sleep at my friend’s house that night since my parents did not know where i was. he was supposed to stay at his friend’s but whoever it was bailed on him and he was homeless for the night. luckily for him, my friend offered him the couch at hers…. Continue reading »
Dream Job, Turned Nightmare
It had been my goal for three years to join the yachting industry, but I had to finish college and then graduate school first. Finally, in May, I was free to pursue my passion of living life on the sea. I took the expensive required courses, and the day after graduation, I was offered a job on a classic yacht based on an island off the New England coast. We were to be a crew of three: me as the stewardess, a first mate, and the captain. I joined the captain alone for about two weeks, and everything was going great. Captain left for the island, leaving me to move onto the boat, and to pick up the First Mate he had just hired from the airport. FM and I hit it off; he was friendly and very easy to be around. I was not attracted to him, and in any case, I had a… Continue reading »
I Didn’t Know I Was Raped
Upon the eve of my 21st birthday my boyfriend of the time (who was everything to not date in a man) raped me. We went to a bar and were drinking. I am not even a fan of bars. I wanted to go camping, but he insisted. (Side Note: After we broke up I went on dates with four different guys to see what was out there. Every single one of them treated me better than he treated me our entire relationship. Like, the little things they did in comparison, blew my mind. How they thought of me, how kind they were, and how much they payed attention to detail, BLEW MY MIND. It was stuff that shouldn’t have even blew my mind, but did. It did because I was treated like shit emotionally for so long that I didn’t even know anything else. If a man (or my bad, boy) ever makes you question… Continue reading »
It never goes away
July 12 2008. That wasn’t the day I was raped. It was the day I was to be married to my rapist. He developed a drinking problem. He was always verbally abusive, though I didn’t recognize it at first. When he became physically abusive in November 2007, I began my escape. I let him pull me back in though…I always thought if he got help we’d be together and for a moment I thought he had. Social media was advanced enough at that time for me to find out he was falling into old patterns. I ended the rekindling. A few months later he was moving to Louisiana. He needed someone to watch the house he bought and the dog we had. I had been living with my parents and was getting sick of being 22 with a ‘curfew’. He asked me to move back and watch the house and dog. He wasn’t supposed to… Continue reading »
Was i raped?!
So last week I was with my friend and one of her guy friends. We were staying at his place. We all went out for drinks. I got very very drunk and have no recollection of coming home. My next memory is only two seconds long of him naked on top of me. Then my mind goes blank again. I remember waking up a while after completely naked and getting changed into pjs. I was very confused and unsure of what happened. A few days later my friend told me that he told her we had had unprotected sex, but I remember none of it. I was never even slightly attracted to him so I doubt that changed when I was drunk! The next day he was all friendly again as if nothing happened. Did he rape me? — Survivor, age 19
My message to all
As I heard the news that Kavanaugh made it into the supreme court, my heart sank. My husband, who follows politics relentlessly, was furious but I was silent and went on with my day. Getting angry would mean that I would have to really think about what this event means to me… and of course I eventually became angry. The anger is partially about Kavanaugh but mostly about the reaction that men have a scary road ahead. If this is you, please read with an open and heart and mind as this idea may affect those you love much more than you know. I do not know that Kavanaugh is guilty of sexual assault, but if he is I really hope he reads this too. If you believe that all of this sexual assault talk is unfair to men then my counter argument is that it is not fair that I have to push out… Continue reading »