“All parents damage their children. It cannot be helped. Youth, like pristine glass, absorbs the prints of its handlers. Some parents smudge, others crack, a few shatter childhoods completely into jagged little pieces, beyond repair.”—Mitch Albom. Being born second eldest, with my father’s child (my half sister) being born a few years before I, has left me with a sense of guardianship over my younger brother. Lydia, the eldest of us three, was born when my father was in the teen years of his life. Many years ago, I might have even called her my sister, but now I have no idea who or where she is. Vince, my younger brother, is my motivation; he is constantly there pushing me through barriers I thought I would never conquer. I was born when my father was breaking the dawn of his twenties, after he “fell in love” with a woman named Victoria. But when being realistic,… Continue reading »
Dear My Rapist
This is written to you and your friend who calls me a liar. You assaulted a girl so vulnerable, and if I could only say your name I would. You took something from me that doesn’t seem so big to you or anyone else at that party. You not only took my virginity, you took the love I had for myself away. You stole my peace of mind away, and that’s something I won’t ever get back. No one realizes this, but being a teen comes with the hardest moments of your life, and for you to bring a sudden fear of leaving my house, is disgusting. I walk through this world wondering why this would happen to me. I wonder why I drank so much, I wonder why I trusted everyone at that party. You knew nothing about me except for the fact that I was vulnerable, so I’m going to tell you about… Continue reading »
Prey
Recently single after a 2+ yr relationship, I was vulnerable and needy. Needy for attention mostly. And with my dad’s disappointment in my sexuality, I figured it wouldn’t hurt to try and hang out with guys more. It did. He made many advances over the summer, all of which I turned away. I even had a serious conversation with him in which we mutually agreed neither of us were looking for relations- we were just friends. We had became pretty good friends, despite all of the harassment I endured. Why I put up with it, I don’t know. I blame myself for it daily. He asked me to come over and hang out one night, he was leaving for college in the morning. We watched a movie in his room while his parents and sister slept. It was truly enjoyable. He offered to rub my legs because I was sore from the gym, so I… Continue reading »
Overtaken Twice
I honestly never thought something like this would ever occur in my life. I never envisioned the day where someone would violate my trust and my body. It was the beginning of January when a couple of friends and I went to a party. A 28 year old guy one of them used to talk engaged in small talk with us, but that wasn’t it. The following day he asked her to come to his house to hang out, and she wanted to go. I didn’t want her to go alone, because I was afraid of what might happen, so I decided to go with her. He invited one of his other friends and while we were in the car heading to his home, he handed us a bottle of liquor. We really didn’t think anything of it. We got to his house and we all just sat around listening to music and drank some… Continue reading »
My experience of societal views on victims of rape
Today I was told a story that made me feel uncomfortable and angry. In the context of the conversation, a woman shared a story about her daughter who had become paralytic at a party and subsequently raped. She talked about the trauma it caused her daughter and the long term emotional distress she had witnessed and knew her daughter had suffered. However, the women went on to say there was no way in hell she would have let her daughter report it and go to court. She said ‘absolutely no way, I just wouldn’t put her through that’. The women then went on to discuss how because the daughter had been ‘paralytic’ when the assault had taken place, meaning that the judge would not favour this, and may feel that the girl had put herself in a vulnerable position. She concluded that the learning from this was that the daughter should not become so intoxicated… Continue reading »
Scared
I was a happy bubbly 5 year old when my uncle got me to play dress up with him, he made me wear underwear that had a hole in them. He then preceded to show himself to me and then made me sit on him which push him inside me. My whole body went numb. Not long after he started he finished. He then went to the toilet to urinate calling me to the toilet he proceeded to force me to put him in my mouth. A few days passed and he tried to sit next to me and a freaked out and ran out of the room. I ended up telling my other uncle about what his brother did to me and he told my mum and dad. Due to him being to young he never had to face up to what he did. At the age of 11 my dad wanted to show… Continue reading »
When will it be enough?
Why is it not enough? Why is my reluctance not enough to make you stop? Why is my “no” not enough? Why is my “no no no” not enough? Why are my clawing, shoving, desperately-trying-to-pull-my-pants-up hands not enough? Why is my cry of “oh god make it stop, please make it stop” still not enough for you? Why are my tears not enough? Why do I have to be violated and then told that I’m too young to recognize that women want a man who “takes charge in the bedroom”? Why does this have to happen over and over and over again all over the world? I am heartbroken for all my sisters who have endured the same pain. It is not fair that we have lost pieces of our souls after these monsters. It is not fair that the gaping wounds attract more predators, like sharks drawn to blood in the water, who tear… Continue reading »
How Many Times?
I have been raped, I don’t know anymore whether I admit, or declare it. My first time, also my first time, was on a date with my boyfriend. We were making out, and he went up my shirt, and I stopped him with a no. He kept trying until he got to 2nd base, and then went under the shirt, and an emphatic no didn’t stop his hands. I included a no at each stage, through penetration, intercourse and orgasm. my opinion was clear, and unimportant. On Monday, he had a date with a classmate, and we weren’t committed, in that order. Less than a week later, we had the stereotypical rivals football game, which we lost in the fourth. Walking home, through a playground in the minor creek and woods, I ran into a guy. He was from the other school, from his jacket. He was cute, nicely built, hot butt. He was charming,… Continue reading »
Raped by a work colleague
This starts April 2017 i went for a team meal with work colleagues, a few of us stayed out for drinks. So this “man” decided he would stay out with me and a few girls from our team. As the night went on 1 by 1 girls started to leave so i decided to stay for a few more with this man. This man was on my team he is 20 years my senior, has a daughter a few years younger than me. So what i can remember was going to a few places, he just kept buying drinks, like i struggled to keep up,We was having a laugh. Then all i can remember is a few seconds of me in a taxi with him then it goes black…. I remember being guided into a room,i fall to the floor, it goes black….i wake up its dark i feel beard on my face kissing me,i… Continue reading »
I just wanted a friend
It happened on March 17,2018. I had just broken up with my boyfriend the day before and I just wanted my guy “friend” to come over and hang out with me. I’m 17 and he’s 15. I just wanted to get my mind off of the break up and I stated CLEARLY that I didn’t want to do anything, even before he came over. It was his first time at my house, so I showed him around the first floor. Then he asked what my room looks like so I took him upstairs to show him. He ended up laying on my bed and I tried to coax him off so he’d come downstairs, but he didn’t move. I laid next to him, and I felt so awkward that I put on a movie. I kept the movie playing even when he started to touch me. I didn’t tell him to stop. I never have… Continue reading »