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I like to think I won’t feel so guilty one day

At some point during childhood most of us find ourselves afraid of monsters. We fear the horned creatures snarling in our closets, the rows of teeth hiding under our beds, but the scariest thing of all is that, in reality, monsters don’t look like “monsters”. They don’t have fangs and claws or wear scary masks. They don’t come with warning signs. They don’t really look any different at all. The monster could be your friendly next-door neighbor or the nice guy at the bar who offers to make sure you get home safely. The monster could be someone you thought you knew. Someone you thought you could trust. Someone you thought you loved. I was sexually assaulted when I was sixteen. It was hard to separate what was being done from who was doing it. It was hard to know that it was not okay. There was a lot of confusion, a lot of manipulation…. Continue reading »

Never Heals

I am a young girl, only fifteen years old. It was over seven months ago, when I went through a very traumatic time. I was at a house party, somewhere I regret ever going. I was interested in a boy who was holding the party, and that was the only reason I went. I didn’t know anyone else at the party but I agreed to go for him. The moment I arrived he handed me a bottle of strong spirits and ordered me to drink it straight. I was stupid and niave and I did what he said, and after a short while and a lot of drinks he led me to his bedroom. His friend stood at the door, making sure no one got in or out. Others claimed they tried to help me, but they were stopped. I still remember the feeling of helplessness. I still remember the look in his eyes. Almost… Continue reading »

Was it rape?

I used to never understand the word rape. I used to never think it could happen to me. Too be honest, I still don’t understand it all I know is what happened was wrong. It was six years ago. It was a warm night in may I was at my best friends house in the hot tub. We had a few drinks and then our “friends” came over.. fast forward to five am in the morning this “friend” started to feel me up… He then began getting more and more intimate and persuaded me to come out to his jeep. I get in scared out of my mind, and he climbs in on top of me. He begins to kiss me all over saying how it was time for me to stop being a good girl and how I wanted “daddy” to eff me. He had his way and then finished. There was blood all… Continue reading »

Too drunk to respond

I was living in a university dorm. I was 18. I had had too much to drink and my older next door neighbor had said that he would help me as I had cut my hand on glass. He took me into his room. He started to kiss me and take off my pants. I didn’t want to do anything with him so I rolled onto my stomach. All I wanted to do was sleep and be left alone. Even though I have very foggy memories of that night that is how I know he raped me. I didn’t want to. I thought he would leave me alone if I was on my stomach. I didn’t say no but I was too out of it to consent or fight back. Instead he had sex with me from behind. I was half conscious. I felt sick. After he was done he put me to sleep in… Continue reading »

I Never Thought This Would Happen To Me

I was raped by someone who I met while out at a club. He was dumb enough to show me his driver’s license, though. How dumb is that? Anyway, I was with a group of friends and somehow we decided as a group to go to this guy’s house and rest for a while before heading home (we had about an hour and half’s drive ahead of us and I was exhausted). My friends left me in this guy’s bedroom with him and the guy that drove us all to the club (one of my friends knew the guy, let’s call him Ben, that drove us to the club, but I didn’t know him prior to him driving us–he is now a great friend and my roommate). When Ben would leave the room, the other guy, let’s call him Robert, started touching me and eventually r*ped me. I was so tired that after he initially… Continue reading »

Spring Break

Spring Break in Ft. Lauderdale. I was gang raped by 3 guys in my own room. My friends were my support, but I had to call it short and go home, and 1 friend did also to travel with me. I am one of the Too Many. — Jane, age 19

Everyone blames me

I’m an 18 year old female and I was raped last year. I’ve tried to put in the back of my mind and forget it ever happened but it’s so hard. Last year two days after my birthday I was walking home from work when a guy approached me and asked me how I was. At the time he seemed okay, he didn’t look dodgy, he just looked like a friendly guy. We had a genuine conversation until he asked me if I would have sex for £100. Of course I said no and attempted to walk away. He grabbed me from behind and dragged me into the woods that was nearby my home. As I was resisting he pulled out a knife and place the point on my back. I couldn’t do anything. He raped me in the woods and when he was finished he told me, I deserved it and that I was… Continue reading »

I thought it was my fault

It was my senior year of highschool and we were finally headed to mrytle beach for senior trip. I was 17. We had “trusted” friends we were heading down with most being the popular boys of our school and only 4 girls including myself. I thought I could trust my friends, I thought I was able to let loose because I’d be safe. One of those days my friend and I decided to stay in the condo and drink because everyone was headed out. We drank to much and blacked out until late that day “once everyone arrived back”. Little did we know they had come back during our blackout. Nothing was said about this until we arrived back from our senior trip. I was notified shortly after that a video was circulating of me having sex with someone I was unaware of during the time I was blacked out. To this day I have… Continue reading »

God Saw You Kill My Two Little Friends

I grew up in the Appalachian mountains with incest and violence, I’m an Appalachian inbred Hillbilly, ain’t nothing wrong with that. People who write similar stories or movies most times are not an inbred Hillbilly which makes my story unique. At nine years old I was beaten and raped at gunpoint. My two card playing Hillbilly girlfriends were beaten, raped and shot in front of me. Uncles, brothers and cousins raped the girls. I want to educate the world that inbreds are not blue or have defects. I was born at 11:59 on December, 31, 1955, on New Year’s Eve in Indianapolis, Indiana, but was raised in the Appalachian mountains. I trained managers to be sphincters for thirty five years. I abandoned many homes to violent husbands. I gave birth to five children and people stole them like I’m a baby factory. Thieves took all my material belongings over and over and won’t give nothing… Continue reading »

My Story

There’s something I need to say, but I can’t. I can’t say it out loud. Because if I did then it’d be true. It’d be real. I don’t want it to be real. I just want it to go away. But it’s not going to go away, it’ll never go away. It will continue to weigh on my heart, my conscious mind, my sub conscious, my every being. I need to let it go. I need to talk about it to finally be free of this and move on. It’s time to let this go. A while back I was seeing this guy. Someone I had met a few years prior to this event. He seemed like a nice guy, a good guy, and as we started to hang out more, I felt myself being comfortable with the idea of him possibly being my boyfriend. Something I never thought to consider before, I’ve been very… Continue reading »