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My experience of societal views on victims of rape

Today I was told a story that made me feel uncomfortable and angry. In the context of the conversation, a woman shared a story about her daughter who had become paralytic at a party and subsequently raped. She talked about the trauma it caused her daughter and the long term emotional distress she had witnessed and knew her daughter had suffered. However, the women went on to say there was no way in hell she would have let her daughter report it and go to court. She said ‘absolutely no way, I just wouldn’t put her through that’. The women then went on to discuss how because the daughter had been ‘paralytic’ when the assault had taken place, meaning that the judge would not favour this, and may feel that the girl had put herself in a vulnerable position. She concluded that the learning from this was that the daughter should not become so intoxicated… Continue reading »

Scared

I was a happy bubbly 5 year old when my uncle got me to play dress up with him, he made me wear underwear that had a hole in them. He then preceded to show himself to me and then made me sit on him which push him inside me. My whole body went numb. Not long after he started he finished. He then went to the toilet to urinate calling me to the toilet he proceeded to force me to put him in my mouth. A few days passed and he tried to sit next to me and a freaked out and ran out of the room. I ended up telling my other uncle about what his brother did to me and he told my mum and dad. Due to him being to young he never had to face up to what he did. At the age of 11 my dad wanted to show… Continue reading »

When will it be enough?

Why is it not enough? Why is my reluctance not enough to make you stop? Why is my “no” not enough? Why is my “no no no” not enough? Why are my clawing, shoving, desperately-trying-to-pull-my-pants-up hands not enough? Why is my cry of “oh god make it stop, please make it stop” still not enough for you? Why are my tears not enough? Why do I have to be violated and then told that I’m too young to recognize that women want a man who “takes charge in the bedroom”? Why does this have to happen over and over and over again all over the world? I am heartbroken for all my sisters who have endured the same pain. It is not fair that we have lost pieces of our souls after these monsters. It is not fair that the gaping wounds attract more predators, like sharks drawn to blood in the water, who tear… Continue reading »

How Many Times?

I have been raped, I don’t know anymore whether I admit, or declare it. My first time, also my first time, was on a date with my boyfriend. We were making out, and he went up my shirt, and I stopped him with a no. He kept trying until he got to 2nd base, and then went under the shirt, and an emphatic no didn’t stop his hands. I included a no at each stage, through penetration, intercourse and orgasm. my opinion was clear, and unimportant. On Monday, he had a date with a classmate, and we weren’t committed, in that order. Less than a week later, we had the stereotypical rivals football game, which we lost in the fourth. Walking home, through a playground in the minor creek and woods, I ran into a guy. He was from the other school, from his jacket. He was cute, nicely built, hot butt. He was charming,… Continue reading »

Raped by a work colleague

This starts April 2017 i went for a team meal with work colleagues, a few of us stayed out for drinks. So this “man” decided he would stay out with me and a few girls from our team. As the night went on 1 by 1 girls started to leave so i decided to stay for a few more with this man. This man was on my team he is 20 years my senior, has a daughter a few years younger than me. So what i can remember was going to a few places, he just kept buying drinks, like i struggled to keep up,We was having a laugh. Then all i can remember is a few seconds of me in a taxi with him then it goes black…. I remember being guided into a room,i fall to the floor, it goes black….i wake up its dark i feel beard on my face kissing me,i… Continue reading »

I just wanted a friend

It happened on March 17,2018. I had just broken up with my boyfriend the day before and I just wanted my guy “friend” to come over and hang out with me. I’m 17 and he’s 15. I just wanted to get my mind off of the break up and I stated CLEARLY that I didn’t want to do anything, even before he came over. It was his first time at my house, so I showed him around the first floor. Then he asked what my room looks like so I took him upstairs to show him. He ended up laying on my bed and I tried to coax him off so he’d come downstairs, but he didn’t move. I laid next to him, and I felt so awkward that I put on a movie. I kept the movie playing even when he started to touch me. I didn’t tell him to stop. I never have… Continue reading »

Young and dumb?

Now that I am a mother of a teenage daughter I realize that my assault wasn’t just because I was young and dumb. For years I blamed myself for drinking with those guys I hardly knew, and when it happened to my daughter I caught myself thinking “How dumb of her”. But after going thru this with her I realize that it was not our fault for letting our guard down. Even though we were questioned over and over again about her intentions before going out, and hearing them say “Why did you drink so much”. It was not our fault, we were not young and dumb. We were doing normal teenage things, unfortunately around people who were not taught to respect women. I never told my story until the day she told me it was her fault. Her and I have a very strong relationship and have been there to help each other heal…. Continue reading »

Frozen

I went to a guys house who I had mutual friends with while my mom was out of town. He picked me up and we went to his house and played pool and talked. While I came over to just hangout and have fun it was summer. We went to his room and watch tv we both were laying together and just on our phones. Until Jen asks me “can this be our little secret” and in my head I’m thinking he doesn’t want anyone to know that Jen hung out with me. And I was curious as to why. We started making out which I was okay with and he started fingering me. (Before this I had only kissed a boy). He was kissing my neck and went lower and tried to unzip my shorts I just pulled his face to mine to show him I had no interest in anything more. He pined… Continue reading »

I was assaulted twice at the same party

I had just returned from a year of studying abroad, so my 3 best friends decided to throw a small party for me. I had just turned 17. It was a small party for close friends, and the cousin and a couple of his friends of my best friend. Through the night, I got quite drunk. I don’t remember how it happended, but I somehow ended up in a locked bedroom with a friend of the cousin (so I didn’t know the guy). He told me the others had locked us inside. I believed him, since I was quite drunk. I laid down on the bed, I told him, that I was just gonna sleep until they’d lock us out again. He didn’t listen. He started touching and kissing me, even though I kept saying I wanted to sleep. Then he fingered me. It hurt, and it wasn’t pleasurable at all. I didn’t do anything…. Continue reading »

The thief

I was only 5, people say you can’t remember it because you were so small but I do remember everything that happened, I was sexually harassed by my cousin who I loved like a brother, I don’t know but I was so scared to tell anyone so I told the only person I knew I could trust my sister she was 7 at the time and told me he did the same with her, so we decided no one would understand, soon my sister left at the age of 8 about to turn 9 to live with my mom since I had never met my mom I only knew she left when I was one year old and I was left behind with my father, he knew my sister was raped by my cousin but didn’t do anything he KNEW!! And he didn’t even do anything to save me or her, my cousin or should… Continue reading »