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Abused By A Therapist

I started seeing a psychologist at the Flexman Clinic at the age of seven to be tested for Autism Spectrum Disorder, which I was soon diagnosed with, in addition to OCD and ADHD. I started seeing either a therapist or another psychologist (I don’t remember which) soon after and at the same location. I don’t remember her name, but I remember her face and her bushy, dry hair almost as clearly as I remember her hands: wrinkled and tipped with red acrylic nails. Those images are burned into my mind now. On my second visit with her, the first without my parents, we started playing a board game. After we rolled the dice and our little marker travelled up spaces, the color of the space would tell us what color card to pick. After she pulled the card, she would ask me a question, which I suppose was written on the card. The first few… Continue reading »

Incest

From the time I was very little my own father was a sexual predator in my life and my sister. I am sure my mother and my step mother knew how he was and just buried their heads in the sand. I wonder how many mothers just keep silent when they know they are married to a monster. Somehow I think this is all too common in our world. How many fathers, uncles, brothers, cousins, etc. are getting away with this horrific behavior and families just don’t want to expose it. If your own mother doesn’t stop this from happening to you, how can you grow up thinking that anyone else is going to protect you. You just accept that this is the way things are. My father is still living, as far as I know, and lived his whole life without being punished for his awful behavior towards all the women in his life…. Continue reading »

Drunken rape

When I decided to get drunk for the first time ( my first semester in college), I tried to be wise and have friends watch over me. A male friend from my dorm offered to be my “guardian angel” for the night and make sure I didn’t get into too much trouble. I drank…a lot – everclear and 151 in large quantities. I’m guessing I had more than ten shots in a fairly short time. My memory of the night ends fairly early and I’ve had to piece it together from others’ accounts. I woke up the next morning naked in my “guardian angel’s” bed next to him and found a full condom inside of me. I was furious with him and I was quick to cry fowl (and rape though I felt uncomfortable with the term). He was drunk as well so he wasn’t entirely sure what happened either but he agreed that he… Continue reading »

Too Many Times

I was raped when I was a kid. My dad is an alcoholic, my mom abandoned us for England. She tries to say that they didn’t, but she did. So where I was living, I pretty much didn’t have any parents, and these two men decided to use me. I was 6, and 7. The abuse kept happening. They kept engaging with me and raping me, it became routine after a certain point. It happened 10, 20, 30 times. I don’t remember how many times. I started having memories of it again, last year when I was 15, as I had repressed them for awhile. It was terrifying, realizing that I was a victim. I question if my memories are even real, but they feel so real when the flashbacks come, and I can’t think of anything but their hands on me, and their manipulation. It sickens me that I was abused. I wonder where… Continue reading »

I’m a functioning alcoholic

My story started with sexual abuse from a girlfriend when I was 5 (I am also female). I assume that she was sexually abused from her brothers or her father at a young age considering she knew what “going down on someone” was at the age of 5. What proceeded was my parents’ divorce and my mother’s mental decline. She had affairs with several men while my parents were married and my dad was an angry man. I have memories of her telling me how much she wanted to kill her self before I was 6.. I was extremely shy and self-conscious as a child, moving away from Georgia to Illinois. My parents gave me a choice to which parent I chose; I chose my dad (he worked out anger issues in a very effective way), which I am grateful for to this day, however during my childhood this led to guilt and self-doubt. From… Continue reading »

Date rape

The beginning of my last relationship was amazing… It all started when we first meet my freshman year… I really liked him and we have known each other our whole lives. One day, we were hanging out and he’s like, “Would you like to go on a date with me?” I looked at him all confused because I thought he didn’t like me like that… I said sure, thinking that our relationship would work. The first day we were dating, he bought me flowers, chocolate, whipped cream, and he bought me a new phone because mine was broken. We set it up and then I downloaded Snapchat, Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter… That night i met his parents and I didn’t realize that he lived down the street from me… I liked him so much, but it hurt a lot to know what he did to me… He cheated on me so many times… I kept… Continue reading »

When no means nothing

My boyfriend suggested I have sex with someone that wasn’t him because he was my first. He fought with me for months about it; I finally gave in. It was planned I walked to his friends house shaking from terror, what the hell was I going to do to get out of doing it. We watched a couple of movies and when the last was overlaid down. I tried to ignore him but things got heated and I had a seizure (I later discovered it was cause by a panic attack) he pestered me for more and I gave in but I started saying no and he ignored me. Later in the night he woke me up twice for more and I never really woke up for those. I have pseudoseizures now and am terrified of ever seeing him again. He used to be my best friend…

Planned Rape

I was in a complicated relationship. Complicated meaning he was done with his ex but she wasn’t done with him. Anyway, we’ve been together for 4yrs at the time and we’ve had our differences but nothing like this. I’d come and stay with him at his home and he’d come stay with me sometimes. He lived down the road after moving in with his friend now roommate so it was very convenient. One day I had a dentist appointment I had caught a ride down to the appointment but asked him if he could pick me up being that I would not be able to drive. I had to get teeth extracted and minor surgery dentist warned me I’d be under and “loopy” for some time after with the meds he was putting me on. After picking me up we went to his place, plan was I was going to stay the night. I knew… Continue reading »

Raped because of who I loved

I’m lesbian. I have been since I was 17, ever since I felt that guys couldn’t do the same job as girls. When I was 18 I was still in college, and had opened up about my sexuality to eveyrone. And one of the guys, who I knew had a crush on me seemed rather pissed…. A year later I had been dating a girl for a while- insanely hot, sweet smart– everything I could have wanted. And due to our young age and newfound love we were making out inside of a bathroom, just cause. Then we heard a noise, and the whispers of guys- it was a girls bathroom so it was a bit strange. Then the door was busted open, and we were dragged out… They took her first and made me watch- my girlfriend getting used that way– then they moved onto me, calling me names hitting me, cutting my hair… Continue reading »

I’m Not Easy

It happened on April 10, 2017. I hadn’t been with anybody since a hard breakup a year before. I was finally moving on and I started talking to this boy. We flirted often and texted constantly. Finally, we were hanging out. He even introduced himself to my mom and I thought he seemed like a gentleman. I met his parents then we were off to his bedroom to play xbox and watch movies. That’s where I was stupid and should’ve left. Within 5 minutes of me meeting this boy in person, he said he wanted to change into something more comfortable. Without a breath, he pulled his pants off and I noticed he had no underwear on and he was hard. He planned for this to happen. He put on shorts and got comfortable on the bed. I chose to ignore it and I laid by him. Next thing I knew, he was forcing his… Continue reading »