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I’m Not Easy

It happened on April 10, 2017. I hadn’t been with anybody since a hard breakup a year before. I was finally moving on and I started talking to this boy. We flirted often and texted constantly. Finally, we were hanging out. He even introduced himself to my mom and I thought he seemed like a gentleman. I met his parents then we were off to his bedroom to play xbox and watch movies. That’s where I was stupid and should’ve left. Within 5 minutes of me meeting this boy in person, he said he wanted to change into something more comfortable. Without a breath, he pulled his pants off and I noticed he had no underwear on and he was hard. He planned for this to happen. He put on shorts and got comfortable on the bed. I chose to ignore it and I laid by him. Next thing I knew, he was forcing his… Continue reading »

He Loved Me

He was my best friend. He had loved me for years. I trusted him. I was 18. We had just graduated high school. I went out drinking with some friends and he offered to be our designated driver. Later that night, when I got sick he offered to take care of me and help me get to bed. No one blinked an eye. Why would they? Why would someone who loved me the way he did ever take advantage? I remember lying in bed. I was cold and shivering. So he held me. I can’t remember how it started, but he kissed me. I shied away and said no. He kissed me again and I told him I didn’t want to and that I loved my partner (currently out of town). I was cold. He rubbed his hands all over my body. They were warm and it felt nice. He kissed me again. I felt… Continue reading »

Confused

So one day I was hanging out with this guy friend if mine. We had consensual sex about a week before this. We were in a hotel room and I got into bed naked with him. He started to put me down telling me I was a whore and I was ugly. I decided I didn’t want to have sex with him after so I started to get up. He told me he wanted me to “just cuddle” with him. I got back in bed with him and I started to fall asleep. Well after about 3 minutes he starts to touch me and I tell him to stop. Then he gets on top of me and pins me down and rapes me.I am crying and telling him to stop the entire time. After he’s finished he gets up. I asked him why he raped me. He said he didn’t rape me, that I wanted… Continue reading »

I should’ve tried harder to stop it

It was a year and 4 months ago, on my 16th birthday. I was at a house party of one of my good friends at the time and I was very, very drunk (how cliché of me)! When we first got there, our bags were put in a bedroom, so I assumed we were all sleeping in that room. Early into the morning, after drinking way too much, I went in to lie down. Turns out that was my friend’s brother’s room. He came in and I remember him closing the door. The rest of the night is kinda blurry and very dark and I remember it burned a lot and I could not wait for it to all be over. My friends didn’t understand and were very mad and decided to no longer speak to me. I was depressed for a few months about losing them. I felt like it was my fault for… Continue reading »

Childhood abuse and acquaintance rape

I wanted to mention my childhood abuse and acquaintance rape later on in the same story, believing that there is a strong connection between both. I will speculate on a subject some more as the story progresses. First that was my father, who used to tell me amazing bedtime stories after I would jump happily into my parents bed. This evening my mom was at work and I was ready for my fairy tale that turned out to be a nightmare hard for me to shake off 50 years later. Heavy, worm, sticky subject laying on my thigh. I can still pin point the exact place. Feeling of fear and confusion. Subconscious realization that something bad happened but not being able to deal with it being a child- loving and respectfully obedient to adults, to authority. Incomprehension, shame and fear of causing conflict between my parents stopped me from telling my mom. Similar situation happened… Continue reading »

His opportunity

My boyfriend went to California for the weekend, and as soon as I arrived home from the airport, one of his coworkers arrived at the door. He pushed his way inside, and almost picked me up to carry to the bedroom. He forced me to engage in various sexual activities that I wish to leave my own bad memory. I was only happy to see that he left me alive, and relatively undamaged. — Jie, age 19

Broke me

It was my ex. Everyone thought of him as charming, the boy next door. That he could do no wrong. I wish it wasn’t past the statute of limitations because I have learned to be brave. I would want to only stand up to stop him from doing what he did to me, to others. He forced himself on me after I said no. He would use my body whenever he wanted. I was too scared and ashamed to tell anyone. I thought no one would believe me because he was my boyfriend. I hate myself for being weak and for ever trusting him. He broke me. — Survivor, age 24

Home from School

I got home from school, and mom was working. I was 12, and a latchkey kid. I surprised a classmate of mine, who had broken into our home while I was at school. He started it on the couch, and rapidly went for sex. I was a virgin until then. He would not stop or use any protection. He left, and it seems I was the only thing he took. When mom got home, she was mad at me, and wouldn’t call the police, or take me to be examined, or get help. He was in my classes, and I could not get out of them. I soon found he got me pregnant, and I could not concentrate. Mom tried to get me in private school, but it was too expensive. Mom took me for home schooling, and arranged for me to get an abortion. Nobody but us could know what happened. A couple of… Continue reading »

It’s my fault

I’m a small town girl living on her own for the first time in a really big city going to college. I’ve been dating my boyfriend (who lives 5 hours away) for almost 5 years and one night I went out with some friends and ended up getting really wasted to where I blacked out for most of that night. Fast forward 7 weeks later I notice signs of pregnancy but didn’t get an ultrasound until 9 weeks in the pregnancy. At the time, I thought it was my boyfriend (it would be impossible to be anyone else’s as I’ve been exclusive with him) but the timeline she gave me didn’t match with the times by boyfriend came out to see me. In fact, she was about 2 weeks off and I assumed it must’ve been a mistake. It wasn’t until I spoke to another friend about this and she mentioned to me that 9… Continue reading »

Surpris à la Maison

A week after my marriage, I had moved into Pantin, outside Paris, with his mother and son. I had my premier day at new occupation. I remove my stockings, and wanted food. My stepson grappled me to my knees. After a fight, I felt him enter inside me. He only did 2 or 3 entry before he collapses on top of me. He apologized that he dreams of me all day. It might allow unusual thoughts, but I allowed it to pass in secrets, to not cause family dissension. He was young and made an awful mistake. We discussed this, but only for him. Before I moved to US. He wanted to do more complete, but I declined offers. He never did violate again. – Pheobe, age 35