The first time I had sex, it was with someone I worked with. I thought I was ready, but as it was about to happen, I realized I wasn’t ready. I tried to tell him no, he held my hands and pinned me down and he forced his way in even though I kept telling him no. I groaned in pain and started bleeding, then he realized i was a virgin. He finally stopped. I was bleeding and was in a lot of pain for the next few days. I didn’t think of it as rape at the time, but instead I felt ashamed that he had to find out I was a virgin (I was 24) I went back to him a few days later because I wanted to convince myself there was something more than sex, and that there were real feelings between us but he just wanted to have sex again. This… Continue reading »
Close of a Brother
Growing up my brother would tell me we had to sick together because we were the only children who’s father was not around. My brother little by little starting age 6 he would kiss me then hump. eventually i was age 7 or 8 he’d begin having intercourse. To this day i hate seeing a man’s eyes roll in the back of his head while he is on top of me. I hated him Pumping on top of me. To make things worst my mother found him on top of me and beat us assuming it was mutual sex I’m guessing because he was only one year older This memory I pushed out of my head for years 20 years and now I’m realizing how much shame I felt I’m aware of the bad choices I made because of it. I’m also stuck because my family just moved my my brother still views me as… Continue reading »
The same guy
To describe this experience in words is probably one of the hardest things someone could ask of me. How am I suppose to describe to people what I felt and make them understand it when I don’t even know that for myself. With that being said I will state the facts and tell what happened. I will do my best to describe my feelings but I’m in no way expecting anyone to understand because every victim goes through different experiences though our feelings may be similar they are still unique to the person and the story. Fact: I was raped by the same guy multiple times. The first time He took me on date to eat at taco casa and then asked me to come watch a movie with him at his home. When we got there his parents were gone and we were on the living room couch. He began to kiss me and… Continue reading »
A Night I Will Never Forget
I was so beyond excited for this night. This night was suppose to be so fun. My best friend asked me and another friend to come to a party. So my friend and I got all dressed up and ready to go. The whole drive there we were so excited to go and jamming in the car. When we got there it started off very fun, everyone was dancing and talking. After being a little intoxicated I told my friend I wanted to kiss a cute boy that night , and to set me up with one of his friends. My friend did as I asked. This taller, blonde, who I thought was cute at the time came up to me and I grabbed his hand and we walked to the front yard. He turned me and kissed me, and that went on for a little while. I do not remember/blocked out much of what… Continue reading »
I didn’t break up with him back then
I was in a relationship with my ex-boyfriend for round about 2 years I guess. We laid in bed and he wanted to have sex. So he started to kiss my neck and to touch me but I wasn’t in the mood so I told him. But he did not stop. He continued, started undressing me and I told him to stop over and over again but that did not stop him. I didn’t dare to fight back because I was afraid he was going to hurt me. ( even though he never put a hand on me before that ) When he was finished I started crying and he didn’t even know why. I never told anyone about this because I felt and still feel ashamed for something that isn’t even my fault. — Survivor, age 17
Being drunk is not consent
It happened at a party, how cliche. I was even warned before I left the house that night. “Be careful I know you’re going through something and you might not be in the right state of mind” “just make good decisions”. Could my decision making skills have changed what happened to me? Or maybe my decision making skills are exactly why this happened to me? Was it karma? Did I have this coming to me? Was this my fault? I tell myself not to think like this, and there’s no way it was my fault. How does one become “at fault” for their own rape/rapes? But I guess it could be argued both ways. I want to be able to write about what happened, but I’m not even sure of the proper order of events and exactly what had happened that night. I’ll do my best though.. it was in September I believe of 2016,… Continue reading »
The rape apology and my reply
(I have changed the names of all people involved in this account.) This is quite a long account so I do apologise. Max, this is the message you sent me 8 years after I woke up to you on top of me after our college prom: Hi, I sincerely hope that life is treating you well and you are feeling good. I hope this message isn’t an intrusion on your happiness. But, f**k, I miss you like crazy. I understand that I was a special sort of C**t. I know that I don’t even warrant a thought. But I think of you often. I realise that my behaviour was beyond reprehensible. I just wish that I still knew you.Feel free to ignore this. I just turned 26 and know I still think about you daily and wish I had done the right thing for you and by you. I hope you have the best of… Continue reading »
Make Me Proud
thought joining the military would make me proud. I thought the military was a safe place for women. When my mom told me woman in the military got assaulted, I told her she was wrong. They had programs that protect women from such things. Little did I know, I was the one that was wrong and those programs failed me. At the age of 20, I joined the military. I loved it. It gave me so much pride. And never once did I think the most unsafe place I would be was my own dorm room. I had a job that required 12 hour rotating night and day shifts, so I was on sleeping medication to help me get some sleep. This guy was best friends with my best friend and we’d hung out a few times, in groups, mostly drinking. He asked to come over one night, and believing he was a good guy… Continue reading »
My story
if anyone is unable offer me support or assistance please pray for me?thank you, i come to you tired and heart sick as i am in a bad place, its been a year or so since my abusive husband attacked me physically but i live in fear he could hurt me again and everyday i live endure verbal emotional mental and financial abuse each day and i have tried to reach out for many years and many times and noone will assist me, please let me share my personal life with you, i am not a stranger to abuse heartbreak and pain, i grew up in a abusive household i was raped when i was 13 and i struggled with it and found the courage to tell my mother she called me a whore and blamed me and i was raped again when i was 21 by my abusive husband and too ashamed to tell… Continue reading »
I was raped by a cop
My sister’s husband, a police officer who I am fine naming, raped me. He was a childhood boyfriend of mine but I dumped him in the 10th grade. My younger sister married him. They were moving to another state and we went out dancing. I drank that night, and for some reason he drove me home. I woke up in Memorial Park with him ejaculating inside of me. I instantly began to struggle and cry. He said he wasn’t done and raped me again. He said he hoped he got me pregnant so he could divorce my sister and be with me. He drove me to my apartment. I showered until the water ran cold. I sat in the corner of my living room until the sun came up and drove straight to my mother’s house. I told her we had to save my sister, she could not live with a rapist. My mother told… Continue reading »