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My Own Party

i was home alone for about a month and i thought it would be a great idea to throw a party to make new friends and even gain popularity. the party was so out of control but in the end nothing bad happened and everyone got home safe. i let some people sleep over because they didn’t have rides home and i was fine with that. one guy who i was flirting with for awhile was watching a movie with me. and i was really unaware of what was going on because of how drunk i was. he started doing sexual things with me and i didn’t know what to do and i just felt like a passenger. it was the worst feeling in my life and to this day i am still scared. i have never told even my boyfriend now because he is friends with the guy who did this, or anyone else… Continue reading »

After Wedding

I had attended a friend’s wedding, and with an open bar, I was thoroughly drunk. It was fortunate that they provided a van service home, because I was in no shape to drive! I got home, changed, and blissfully went to bed. I awoke to my pajama top open, and my pants were gone! I cleared enough to see that my Son had arrived after, undressed, forcibly penetrated, and was having intercourse with me while I was unconscious! “Whoa, Yea, Nice!”, was all he said as he came! He closed his pants, and left, like it was nothing. The next morning, he was not even apologetic! “I was drunk.”, was all he could offer. I threw him out to live with his girlfriend, and he could get his stuff off the porch, as I changed the locks. Any complaints and I countered with he could be in jail now, so I was being more generous… Continue reading »

Hiding from the Weather

Last night, there was a fierce thunderstorm. I hid in a bus stop very scared. I was hiding my head in my hood while the rain was extra hard, and the lightning was very often. Someone else joined in the shelter and I didn’t look at him. Until he grabbed me and pushed me down in the water. I screamed but no one could hear over thunder. He raped me and then left in the rain. I know who he is from in town. I have friends hunting him down. — Survivor, age 16

Taken advantage of

So about a week ago today I went through something I never thought I’d go through. I blacked out for what seemed like an entire day. When I woke all I remembered was flashes of having sex with this dude I thought I’d be safe around. I never liked him really, nothing about him attracted me. He dated my college roommate and at a point I dated his very close friend. When I woke up I truly believe I myself had made a mistake and all I could think about was the person that I dated being hurt. I let him know I didn’t remember anything, he never mentioned the sex but he mentioned I was passed out in the back of his car when we go to the location I woke up in, an unfamiliar house, a strangers home. I didn’t even have on my clothes, I think I had on his shirt and… Continue reading »

Does he know?

’m in the Army and while I was in training I turned 18. The first time I went out clubbing it was with my sister, who had driven ten hours to see me for my birthday, but a few weeks later on the last weekend of training I was the only girl. It wasn’t uncommon; there was no other girls in my platoon of 50 guys and I. Despite that I felt safe with them after going through hell with them for 3 months. My boyfriend was supposed to be there but he ended up having an inspection and wouldn’t get there until the next day. I went out with a group and we ended up in a club a few hundred meters from the hotel most of us were staying at. It was the first time I’d been drunk enough to have memory blanks. At the end of the night a guy I knew… Continue reading »

Personal Statement – Written January 2017

Twilight hours of February 25, 2016 are buried in oblivion, bygone, sunk out of my head, perhaps for self-protection. This eclipse of my heart in dead of night. Fraternity boy coolness turns to shadiness at nightfall. His country boy accent is of the coal pitch blackness of the mines, sinking into his swarthiness, and I am sadly a canary in his coal mine. Try to take flight, hasten away from my wails, make a quick getaway. I sink lower, shutting my eyes in this icebox. This is a hard winter and goosebumps grow on my bare skin. He is soulless, like a lone wolf committing acts of terrorism upon me in his below-zero bedroom. He seems so casual – putting on his airs, indifferent, like he could not care less. His 240 pounds are unrelenting against my five-feet. Can a moment be more austere? The stinging feels glacial; I am raw, then numbed. This hole-in-the-wall… Continue reading »

*rape

I was 14 when it started happening. The sexual harassment. I didn’t know what was going on at first, I was so naive and young. Freshman year it was so bad. I didn’t know why all of a sudden everything changed. Boys in my classes making gestures, sending unwanted pictures and texts, groping me. Even people I didn’t know. Sophomore year was the worst for me. I wanted to lose my virginity so bad just to fit in so I agreed to have sex with this boy. When we met up I told him I didn’t want to. He kept trying to get me to but I kept saying so he pulled me in. When you don’t know what to do in a situation sometimes you let it happen. Like there’s nothing you can do to prevent it. I tried to convince myself to like it. Like it felt good, but it didn’t. It hurt…. Continue reading »

13 and 16

When I was 13 years old I went to stay with a cousin and her husband. After being there a few weeks off and on the husband started getting close to me and i didnt understand why. One night he came into the room where I was sleeping acting like he had no where else to sleep. Even though I wasn’t comfortable I let him because it was his house. I woke up to him staring at me and just rolled over. He ended up touching me. I don’t know if he thought I was asleep or what. Then through the course of a year he raped me multiple times. More than just vaginally. He liked other things more. He’d used me and be done. He used to tell me he loved me and tried to get me to believe that’s what love was. I believed him. When I final spoke out my mother blamed… Continue reading »

Someone so close to me

This only happened a year ago. My uncle who always would make sexual comments to me from age 6-still today raped me. We had this cookout where we invited our family and my uncle came. About halfway through I went to go use the bathroom and he cornered me and proceeded to take off my Clothes as I tried to fight him off. Me being a small 13 year old at the time, it was no use. My uncle took my virginity as I was crying the entire time. I have never talked to anyone about it in fear that no one would believe me. I see him about once a month and my eyes start watering up when I see him. — Arabella, age 14

Raped by a so called friend

To this day I’ve never spoke up or spoke about this. I fee the need to do so now to move forward. I was a party with friends mostly males I am more of a guy kind of gal love football love a pint. I’m basically one of the boys. On this night one of my so called friends took away something that wasn’t they’re to take. I was a virgin. And he took it from me. I was sleeping in the spare room I was 16 at the time I had a little bit to drink but I was aware of my surroundings this night I woke up with him in side me (my friend) I froze with fear my legs went numb I felt like I couldn’t even scream. I don’t him to get off my he covered my mouth. After he was finished I stood up with a blank feeling in side… Continue reading »